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Table of Contents Small World ... Small Universe ... Small Reality The Master Confronts His Greatest Enemy
It's official. On August 2, 2002, The Master has returned to us. After a long absence, He has come back to Doomsdadt to reclaim the fatherland. Now, He will save us, as he promised so many years ago. Although he was away, defending our homeland against The Enemy, He was in our hearts, our minds, and our souls. Blessed be The Master. God himself bows down to you, our leader! Nations will take notice of your return, and they will tremble. Welcome back, our Lord and Savior. You, and only you, are the True Master of the Universe; the True Master of Time; and the True Master of Space. No man, living or dead, can be compared against your intelligence, strength, dexterity, wisdom, and handsome face. Please accept these dozens of virgin females we have to offer to you, our Lord.
Thank you Blessed One, The People of Doomsdadt
Small World ... Small Universe ... Small Reality
Attorneys: Don't say anything, tony. We'll handle this. tony: But.... Attorneys: Zip. tony: But ... he should ask her ... Attorneys: Zip. tony: ... anyway ... cause we're going ... Attorneys: Zip it! tony: ... either way. Attorneys: Tony is obviously deranged. We ask that any comments made by him the past 27 years be stricken from the record. tony: No, we don't! What are you .... Attorneys: Zip it! Master: Buffoons. [Master zaps everybody] tony: Where are we? Attorneys: Zip it! tony: Wait ... white light ... mist ... we're in the afterlife, aren't we? Attorneys: Your honor, we ask that you do not judge us with this buffoon. We are innocent! Ultimate Master: Buffoons. [Ultimate Master zaps everybody but tony] tony: Now what? Ultimate Master: Go back to Earth ... go to MegaCon ... have a good time. tony: Thanks!
Insignificant
insect: The Master is bored.
Chirping
insect: Perhaps we could entertain Him....
Insignificant
insect: No. That will not do. Mere entertainment or pleasure
will not please Him.
Chirping
insect.: Then, what shall we do?
[Bell
rings]
Insignificant
insect: We mustn't waste another moment! The Master awaits!
Chirping
insect: But ... but....
Insignificant
insect: [turning towards C. i. -- grabbing him by shoulders] Look,
man ... get a hold of yourself! We must perform for the Master NOW!
We cannot delay!
Chirping
insect.: But ... we're not ready!
Insignificant
insect.: I know. Pray that our instincts can guide us to perform
in a pleasing manner ... it is the only hope we have!
The
Master evaporated I. i. and C. i. five seconds into their monologue.
"Yaaaawn," He said, as He blasted the two incompetent fools with His
stolen Nega-bands.
"I
am bored," the Master reiterated. "Who is left to entertain
me?"
Standing,
grabbing Sherlock, His trusted manservant by the neck, He screamed, "Is
there nothing left?! Can no one please my profound intellect?"
Flinging
His manservant against the wall like a sack of dried beans, the Master walked
to His personal balcony, stretched His arms out wide, and screamed at the top
of His lungs, "Is there no more stimulation? Is this all that's
left?"
The
wind blew silent. The trees offered no reply.
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