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Moussaoui and Reid Awarded the O.J.
These two were pleased to receive their orange jumpsuits.
Yesterday, Outside a courthouse in Northern Virginia, Zacarias Moussaoui and Abdel Raheem (a.k.a. Richard Reid) were both awarded the "O.J.", or orange jumpsuit -- a sought-after symbol of evil craved by criminals around the world. Previous winners include Terry Nichols, Ted "The Unabomber" Kuzinski, Tim McVeigh, the Menendez brothers, and Charles Manson. Some criminals were unhappy with the selection. "It's an outrage!" stated Alberto "Holiday" Falcone, serving a life sentence at Ryker's Penitentiary. "Neither of these jerks actually accomplished anything! Their careers were meaningless!" Others wondered if the orange jumpsuit had lost it's meaning. "I didn't get my O.J. until I was convicted ... I had to wear gray flannels," stated a serial killer from Washington. "It's a shame ... these days, they'll give the top awards to anybody!" The Justice Department denied reports that "anybody" could earn the O.J. "We give the orange jumpsuit to those who deserve it," stated King Ashcroft at a Washington press conference Saturday. "If you've committed a terrorist act, you will get your just reward." Whether Osama bin Laden or Mollar Omar will receive the O.J. before being eradicated from this earth is unknown at this present time.
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