Orange County Convention Center is “The Pits”

 By Damian Hospital, editorial for the Ministry of Truth

 

The OCCC has all the charm of a cavernous airport ... and even less guidance.

 

 

 

            “The world’s largest convention center” is too big, impractical, and unorganized. Although the Dailyskew’s trip to Orlando was successful -- selling hundreds of “Earth-0” photo novellas -- the actual convention center was the pits!

 

            Now, I’ve been to several convention centers for business and pleasure, but none of them felt and looked like an international airport; but the OCCC did. Incredibly spacious, this vast building felt more like a space station than a convention center. To make matters worse, they are currently doubling its size by building another center across the street!

 

            But that’s not all! P-A-R-K-I-N-G. I’m spelling it out because obviously the mysterious powers-that-be who run the OCCC don’t understand what it is. Apparently, there is onsite parking, garage parking, and offsite parking. But I’ll be damned if anyone actually explained to us where these places where, and what time the buses come to transport passengers to and fro.

 

            Tony, God bless his sense of direction, was able to figure out the onsite parking; there are onsite parking lots named A, B, C, D and Rosen Plaza. I still don’t know if Rosen Plaza is designated a letter, or what affiliation that hotel has with the OCCC, but I digress.

 

            There was a sign that said “Offsite Parking First Left”. So we follow those directions and end up in a private hotel parking lot with a sign that reads “Unauthorized Vehicles Will Be Towed at Owner’s Expense”. Thanks, guys. Thanks a lot.

 

            We actually found the ever-elusive garage the last day of the convention. The security guard said it would take “three minute” to walk from the garage to the OCCC. Yeah, right my Mexican friend. After we walked down from the second level, and crossed a street, we saw scores of doors leading into the OCCC taped up “For Emergency Use Only”. Bullshit! Bullshit! Once we actually found an entrance, we had to walk up a slope inside the building that felt like an alpine hill.

 

            So it took longer than “three minute”. But that’s not all, folks!

 

            It cost $7.00 a day for parking, with no guarantee that your car is being kept safe. And there was no public parking! Oh, and let's not forget the concession stand prices for food -- which were astronomical! That should be illegal!

 

            Finally, the onsite bus stopped running at 6:00PM, forcing hundreds of people to find other means of reaching their car in the pouring rain! Bullshit!

 

            The city of Orlando should worry about their decrepit infrastructure, high crime, poor neighborhoods, and corrupt police force rather than building another convention center. Oh, but excuse me, I’m sure old white guys with grey hair run the whole $show$. Disney should be forced to give the money they make in that city to help the rest of Orlando. And if you believe Disney is technically not part of Orlando, you’ve fallen for more of the corporate lies.