My Love Life Has Pretty Much Been Non-Existent Since 9-11

 

By Richard Smalls

 

 

  

I’ll tell ya -- after 9-11, I thought everyone would be more loving to me, but I haven’t gotten laid since August 26.  And I struck out looking on two dates in November.

 

What’s up with that?

 

I mean, TERRORISTS BLEW UP THE WORLD TRADE CENTER AND THE PENTAGON, and I can’t get a sympathy fuck?

 

What has the world come to?

 

Oh, that’s right ... we are living in Earth-0 ... ZERO FOR THE NUMBER OF TIMES I GOT A PIECE OF ASS since 9-11.

 

Jeez ... you know I read on the internet that everyone is supposed to be more “friendly” and “caring” about one another since that tragic day.

 

Well, if that’s true, why have I been wanking off twice a day for the last six months?

 

  Can someone explain this to me? Is it a statistical anomaly? Am I being the only one left out of some lovin’?

 

I’ve been chatting to a couple of girls from the internet; one’s in Jersey; the other’s in Colorado. But I live in California, so what good is that? It’s not like I’m going to fly in an airplane while Osama’s still running around. Huh. He IS still running around, isn’t he? I thought we’d have caught him by now.

 

Man, even he gets laid with all of his wives. And little old me, well, My Love Life Has Pretty Much Been Non-Existent Since 9-11.