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Loyalist Ends his No-Money-Down offer


Daily Balance News

October 1, 2002 -- Today, from his Highpoint, North Carolina farm, the Loyalist announced the end of his no-money-down offer to single women.

"I'm tired of it. I've had enough," he stated at a sparsely-attended press conference. "If women want to date me, from now on they have to make a monetary commitment."

The new financing plan is as follows: single women wanting to date the Loyalist will have to put down anywhere from $500 to $3000, depending on their credit rating. Then, if they pass the credit check, the women must submit five references, preferably previous boyfriends/husbands or close friends, as well as agree to an FBI background check.

"Hey, I'm just playing it smart -- covering my bases. From now on, if a gal wants to be with me, she needs to put up the money, or shut up.

 "Yeah, I'll 'Let Love Rule' -- after I've got her down payment," said the Loyalist.



"I mean, this no-money-down offer has been going on for a DECADE, a full decade, and it hasn't gotten me anywhere. I wine and dine these ladies, take them to see Lenny Kravitz, go on vacation to the Keys with them, and then, when they're tired of purging my wallet, they dump me. Please. No more."

They Loyalist is realistic about the response to his new offer. 

"I figure no one will respond -- women don't want to spend money when so many young guys are offering the no-money-down."

Even if ladies do not pass the background check, there is a $300 processing fee -- so, any lady wishing to date the Loyalist will have to pay a price up-front.

"Hey, it's fair. And, either way, I can't lose ... anymore."

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