A DailySkew Confessional: I Hate Kermit the Frog

by Angel Jimenez

This is tough for me to admit. After all, everyone loves that stupid green puppet ... but the bottom line is Kermit is the lamest character of all time.

I used to sympathize when Ms. Piggy would push him around. I'd feel sorry for him when he was dealing with Fozzy Bear. But not anymore.

Kermit brought it on himself. He could've walked out on the Muppet Show, but nooooo! He just kept bending over, and taking the hand up the rear.

He wanted to be abused. He wanted to be punished. And he wanted my sympathy.

God, I feel violated.

Never again. The final straw was the other day, when I heard Kermit and his wife doing a commercial for Denny's.

Now, let me get this straight: Kermit refuses to do French food because Frog is on the menu, but he's okay with Ms. Piggy eating bacon and eggs?

What? He's okay with being married to a PIG CANNIBAL, but he's got a problem with eating tadpoles.

What a joke. That's when I knew that Kermit wasn't a frog, but a pussy.

I'm sick of Kermit and his whole phony act. I don't care about the Muppet's 25th anniversary. And I hope Fozzy Bear goes grizzly and takes out the frog.