The bugle has sounded...

Star Wars Episode II: Attack of the Yawns! 

by M.D.


This latest installment in the Star Wars saga has as many dull moments as it does exciting.  Right off the bat in the first twenty minutes I was force-fed bad dialogue with bad politics.  Unfortunately, Lucas still hasn’t managed to figure out that we don’t care about grocery store romance novels mixed with C-Span.

We did see some of the good redeeming points that has kept us coming back for more.  The puzzle-solving and B plots that bubble up as the story progresses.  Unfortunately, the romance kept pulling us back into a slump even after important revelations in the story were revealed.  All aspects of the film kept a steady pace of progression except for the love interests.

If it weren’t for the fact that we kept getting sucked back by the over current of the gushy and horrible love story, this film would have been the redemption all real Star Wars fans are looking for.

There are still some issues I have with the utter cluelessness of the Jedi Order, and how they never see anything coming. 

Also, in the previous film, we were all let down by the explanation of what the force is, which didn’t really leave much of a force left to believe in.   It was explained that little bugs [midichlorians] live in the cells of the Jedi, which gives them their powers.  But in this film, it is represented as a mystical religion again with no connection to the bug explanation.

The film did close with a bang, which was well worth the buck.  A huge battle breaks out -- but we are left wondering whose side the clones are on.  From the title “Attack of the Clones”, it suggested to me that the clones are sinister agents of evil.  But in the movie they save the day.  This left me a little confused.  The battle scenes were very impressive despite the confusion, and at moments the realism of the CGI effects were astonishing. 

At the very end, there is a vague deception and another B line in the story when Count Dooku tries to deceive Obi-Wan Kenobi with talk of his good intentions to save the Republic.  There were some good lightsaber battles, but the film climaxes with the much-anticipated Yoda fight scene in which he transforms from fragile, old Jedi Master to butt-kicking martial artist, and don’t forget to make an audible “aww” sound at his cute little light saber.  I’ll leave that one to the ladies. 

Just like "The Empire Strikes Back", this film ends with more questions than answers.  Lucas has upped the bar on this one, but Episode 2 still isn’t good enough to save the entire trilogy from being only marginal, even if the next one is absolutely flawless.