| Devirginizations... (A bitch to spell, let me tell you...) |
| The Virgin Chariot: Two groups of three virgins. Two of the three form the base of the chariot, crawling side-by-side on their knees. The third kneels on top of the other two. The chariots race, steered/spotted by the Empress and Emperor. This is, quite possibly, my favorite devirginization. |
| Love Poetry for the Empress: Nuff Said. Good for the ego. |
| Interpretive Dance: The Matrix. It brought a tear to this Empress's eye. Seeing all that shooting, karate-kicking, exploding. And it was so graceful. |
| Lame Pick-Up Line Contest: I believe the winner was "I like your shoelaces." |
| You've heard of a touchdown dance, you've heard of a mating dance...do the Passionfruit Dance! |
| High-Fives for everyone at Passionfruit and at least one RA. Why? Because High-Fives make you feel good. That's why. |
| (I supplied the fuzzy reindeer antlers for this one.) Using antlers, prove your manliness to the Passionfruit circle: This was my favorite of the new ones we made up, though the competition was fierce. At the second Passionfruit, we nearly concussed two boys. It was awesome. One of them was still adjusting his antlers, but, when I said Go Ahead, the other one ran head first into the other one, landing them both on their backs. |
| A Good Old Fashioned Virgin Sacrafice: This was another good one. The best of the sacrafices involved the High Priest repeating the phrase "Shalom Jesus Shalom Jesus". This was entirely his own doing. He also did a cartwheel over the poor girl we were sacraficing. (No virgins were harmed in the making of this sacrafice.) |
| Virgin Ring Toss: Pretty self-explanatory. Two virgin targets stand with their arms together, fully extended above their heads. Two other virgins toss leis (plastic ones I brought from home), hoping to get them around the target. This turned out to be more difficult than one would expect. But it was really early in the morning, so... |
| Abbreviated: This ran a close second to the reindeer one for the position of my favorite devirginization. We did it twice. The first time was abbreviated Romeo and Juliet (inspired by the Reduced Shakespeare Co.). It worked really well. We did: Opening Scene: Much fencing and thumb-biting Moping Romeo Dance Scene Balcony Scene Mercutio's Death, Tybalt's Death We kinda skipped the whole exile thing R+J's death. The nurse I assigned ended up not having much to do, so she did the epilogue: "And it was very sad because they died. And they died. And everybody died and it was very sad. The end." The second one we did was the Lion King. Also awesome. Also violent. One girl played both Timon and Poomba. Her only line was "I like bugs!" |
| Ode to League of Extraordinary Gentlemen: A truly awful movie. The future second session emperor, George, was devirginized with this. This is what I recall from his ode: LXG was full of stuff from books And Sean Connery kept giving me looks Dorian Gray was pretty cool But the invisible man was a big fool... |
| Ode to Johnny Depp in Haiku form: Johnny my pirate Gilbert Grape was well acted Hurray for comebacks |
| Freestyle rant: Mike chose ninjas. It was totally...sweet. |
| Chant: Virgins are salty and virgins are sweet. Virgins taste better than those who are not. |
| The Virgin Song: Recrafted by yours truly. A tribute to my own devirginization. (Sung to the tune of Dreidel dreidel dreidel.) Virgin virgin virgin. I made it out of me. And when this song is over, no longer shall I be... A virgin virgin virgin...Ole! (This last word must be shouted, bull-fighted style, arms thrown into the air) |