The final recipe installment is less about cooking up a dish..but cooking one's goose. Many heartfelt thanks to Lady Chastity for offering her original work for exclusive use for our Almanac. This recipe captures the "zesty spices of dock life"..and what a bad case of "indigestion" could do to someone. We proudly offer "A Recipe for a Harlot's Death."
Down at the docks, is led to be believed
He then approached the woman whom had caught his eye
"Yes ye were walking to and fro..
..or..
That another dockwhore is being conceived.
Under the scantily devised nightfall
Another sailor is having a ball.
An intimate touch along the breaths of desire
Leaves another mate, calling her lord a liar..
"Yes I know where ye go, ye dirty bastard!" proclaimed the lady
"I am walking to and 'fro, my lovely heart" said the man who appeared shady
Along the lines of mindless foreplay
There was nothing he could possibly say
Indeed he walked down to the docks that same night
And much to his every need led the man to deep insight
There she awaited, just for him...
Bargaining to fulfill his every whim...
She stood in the moonlight, lips of tantalizing red
Breasts perked from her gown, almost unclothed instead
Her hair the color of strawberries in mid-spring
It was clear, she was standing there just for one thing...
"How about a go?" he said with mild charm and a pleasing sigh
Her voice remained sheltered, as her face veiled,
"Yes, for fifty gold" she purred as she revealed
He tipped his hat, and reached into his pocket
Her eyes bevealed as she clasped her gold locket.
He tossed her the gold, in one infamous gesture
She then began to recite all the needs of complexiture
He smiled and stated his longing needs
She began to ravish him while hearing his pleas...
Her hand lowered, and her fingertips began to linger...
He moaned at the softness of each well manicured finger
Her right hand grasped him firmly, while her left wandered
He leaned back upon the dock rails, feeling as though he squandered
Right then, her left hand slipped against her own thigh
He glanced upon her with a look of wondering why
He shrugged, and then sent a crooked smile, "..You are something"
She nodded and reached for the hidden vial, "You are correct about that one thing"
In an instant he recognized the voice, and how his eyes grew wide
She then smiled revealing herself, as she stood with pride
"Yes its me, ye horrible cur" smugly said the wife
"But..but..What did ye do that for?!" panicked stricken for his life..
With an instant rise of her magical hand...
She sent the vial in his mouth to land
He cringed and plunged to the dirt below
And as he lay there poisoned, but not yet dead, this is what she said:
"And I know ye can hear me, as your heart begins to slow
"Ye shall listen to my words, and then I will let ye go
"I came down to the docks a quarter to eleven
"That is where I met the harlot named Heaven
"I said to her 'Ye look like Hell,
"He wouldve died just from the smell."
A wicked laugh got underway, as she finished her story to stray..
"I then slit her damned throat
"And then sent her afloat.
"Adrift that she will be
"The authorites will never catch me
"For my dear, the love of my life
"Ye will be framed, not me ..your wife
"I will go down in history
"Sending out notes for all the wives whom were scorned ye see
"A recipe for a harlot's death, is what I shall call it
"upon my golden throne, I have no remorse..not one bit."
..or..
Original Midi Composition by Bjorn Lynne and used in accordance with the Owner's Terms. "A Recipe For A Harlot's Death" written by Ms. Candi MacLaine 11/11/01 and protected by the Crystal Shores IRC Roleplaying Game Copyright. Do not reproduce her work without her express, personal written consent. See the face page of our Official Website for our full copyright information.