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On the Road to Hell
Where their worm dieth not and the fire is not quenched.
Ecclesiastes
By James H. Crofford
With a critical review by
The Right Reverand Semaj Elah Drofforc

Critical Review
by The Right Reverend
Semaj Eliah Drofforc
Scandalous! Sacrilegious!
That boy should be made to read the bible.
Yes I said it!
Praise God!
Thank you Jesus.

Rev. Drofforc

Just to set the Christian minds at ease, there is not a real Reverend Drofforc. He is a juxtaposition of my own name Crofford spelled backward. Could even a Jack Leg Preacher be that naive? Though I am an ordained minister.

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    One of my favorite books is Ecclesiastes. I can't pronounce it but it's one of my favorites nevertheless. I take issue with most of what he has to say, but he has such a poetic way of expressing his views that it is difficult not to accept his philosophy into your mind set without question.
     He is the renowned teacher who wanders the face of the earth in search for truth. "Meaningless! Meaningless!" Says the teacher. "Utterly meaningless! Everything under the sun is meaningless." "There is a time for everything, there is a time for all seasons, a time to sow and a time to reep, a time to be born and a time to die. Whatever is has already been, and whatever will be has been before."
     "As for men God test them so that they may see that they are like the animals. Mans fate is like that of the animals: the same fate awaits them both: as one dies, so does the other. All have the same breath man has no advantage over the animal. Every thing is meaningless. All go to the same place; All come from dust, and to dust they all return. Who knows if the spirit of man rises upward and if the spirit of the animal goes down into the earth?
     There is not a righteous man on earth who does what is right and never sins. "Look," says the teacher, "this is what I have descovered: Adding one thing to another to discover the scheme of things, while I was still searching but not finding. I found one upright man in a thousand, but not one upright woman among them all." Whether a tree fall to the south or to the north, in the place where it falls there it will lie.
     "Meaningless! Meaningless!" Says the teacher. "Everything is meaningless.." Now all has been heard; here is the conclusion of the matter: Fear God and keep his commandments, for this is the whole duty of man."
     Of course Christions find it difficult to question any part of their Holy Bible, after all who dares question the word of God. Still I bet some Christians have a difficult time with Ecclesiastes. I beleave a person should question, and try to understand anything he reads and if he thinks it crap so be it. I think anything written including their Holy Bible shoud stand the test of critical review. Perhaps if a Christian didn't relize what he was reading was from his Holy Bible he would be more apt to review it critically.

    Who is this Ecclesiastes fellow to say everything is meaningless under the sun? Prase God thank you Lord for providing us with your Holy Bible in which we know every word is straight from the mouth of God. How can this unholy spawn of Saten dare say the creations of God-All-Mighty are meaningless? For we all know that God created everything under the sun, undeniable. How could anyone say that is meaningless?
     And this fellow Ecclesiastes certenly has his gall saying there is a time to be born and a time to die. These things are in the hands of God All Mighty. Only he can foresee when a man is to be born and die. And as for sowing and reaping that of course depends on the weather. No one can say it has to be done at a certain time. What ever will be has been before? Ridiculous! Common sense will tell you that's a falsehood. Take yourself; Have you been before? Of course not.
     How could anyone but an unholy, sacrilegious, Devil's spawn which this Ecclesiastes fellow seems to be, possibly compare God's creation of man with that of the animals? Saying man's breath is the same as the animals, preposterous! Why God's own sweet breath gave man life and dominion over all the animals. And to say men go to the same place as the animals when they die. I say everone soaked in the waters of God's sweet redemption will go to heaven along with me. Praise the Lord, thank you Jesus!
     And to say there is not a righteous man on Earth who never sins. And that there's only one upright man in a thousand and no women, who does he think he is? Why all the brothers and sisters in my congregation are certainly upright. And of course a damn tree will lay where it falls unless someone moves it. Why I'd move the damn tree myself, if for no other reason than to prove him wrong.
     Fear God and obey his commandment? Is that the whole duty of man? Why I teach my congregation to love God. Only people like this fellow Ecclesiastes has anything to fear. That God will send him straight to hell where their worm dieth not and the fire is not quenched.
     And this fellow Ecclesiastes calls himself a teacher! Someone should take an oxgoad to that child of Saten. He should be made to get down on his knees and read the Holy Bible then maybe he would forget all these scandalous, sacrilegious ideas of his.
     A member of Reverand Drofforc's congregation: "But Reverand isn't Ecclesiastes in the Bible? Isn't he one of God's Holy philosophers?"
     Reverend Drofforc: "...Aw...Ah...Never mind and now Sister Sara will play the piano, while members of Sister Juanita's Sunday School Class pass the collection plates. Ten percent now everyone, don't forget it's ten percent before taxes. Give unto Caesar that which is Caesar's. But first give unto the Lord. Don't hold back on God now. Little boy I saw you slip that quarter in your pocket! Juanita!!!

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