by Doc
Both women sat drinking their coffee. The the atmosphere was tolerable, the tension still present but not as overwhelming.
'Tell me about Stevie.' Kerry said.
'What do you want to know?' Kim replied.
'Kim. I didn't come to you. You came to me. I'm missing a meeting I don't particularly want to attend but really should. If you've come here to play games please say so now and we can end this.'
'I'm not playing games Kerry.'
'No? Then why don't you tell me about Stevie, why are you here?'
'She's in trouble.'
Kerry was beginning to get annoyed. 'I know Kim, I know she's in trouble you told me already.'
'Why did you call me Dr. Legaspi out there?' Kim asked changing the subject completely.
'What?' Kerry asked surprised.
'Out there, earlier, just before we came in here. You called me Dr. Legaspi. In here you're calling me Kim again. I was wondering if there was a reason?'
'I didn't notice that I had. There's no reason for it Kim.' Kerry was being truthful and Kim could see that on her face. It didn't stop Kim from wondering why Kerry did it.
'OK.' Kim said with a smile. 'On to Stevie. I've been treating her for a while. About three months into our sessions she mentioned you.' Kim detected a hint of a smile on Kerry's face.
'Since we knew each other Kim shouldn't you have...'
Knowing were Kerry was going with her question Kim interrupted and answered it. 'I told Stevie and her grandparents that I knew you. That I used to work with you and that Stevie shouldn't remain as one of my patients. I told them that my partner could take over as her doctor or that I could recommend some good doctors. Stevie wasn't interested. Her grandparents wanted to know what kind of relationship you and I shared. I told them we had been good friends.'
'Is that all you told them about us?' Kerry inquired.
'Don't worry Kerry, I didn't out you. As far as they know you are and always have been a heterosexual female.' Kim said almost mockingly at Kerry, expecting a harsh response. She was surprised and a little disappointed at the reply she did get.
'Thank you for respecting my privacy.' Kerry wanted to say more, much more but she decided not to play Kim's little game. 'Please continue with how you come to be sitting in my office, asking for my help.'
'Stevie continued to see me two, sometimes three times a week. She often asked questions about us and our friendship. As time went on she started to tell me more about you and the relationship you have.'
'Had.' Kerry corrected. 'The relationship we had.'
Kim smiled. 'Of course. Over the last two months all she has spoken about is you. There was always a great level of happiness and excitement in her voice when she spoke of you Kerry but there was also an underlying sadness there too.' Kim took a sip of her coffee. 'Almost three weeks ago Stevie attempted to take her life. It's the third attempt in four years. She almost succeeded, it was a serious attempt. It wasn't a cry for help, she truly wanted to die.' Kim watched as Kerry reacted to this news. It was obvious how upset Kerry was. 'She's still in hospital now, in the psych ward.'
'She'll be loving that.' Kerry said sarcastically with a small laugh. Not that she thought it was funny but it seemed an appropriate response. 'How many times has she escaped?'
Kim was taken aback at this. '4 and a half.' Kim said.
'Half?' Kerry asked.
'She was outside the hospital building but technically still on hospital property last time.'
'Ah. OK, but I bet she claims it was 5 times?'
Kim let out a laugh, 'Yes she does. Even after all this time you clearly still know this young woman well.'
'Why is she still in hospital?'
'Everytime, with the exception of the last attempted flee, she has found a way out of the psych ward and out of the hospital she attempted suicide. Three times she has managed to get into locked drugs. Kerry you know the security hospitals have as far as drugs go, especially in the psych ward. Each time she got in we upped the security but still she got in.'
Kerry gave alittle chuckle. She knew all too well Stevie and her capabilities to overcome the near impossible.
Kim continued. 'I can't say for certain that she won't try again. I know she would.'
'So why come here? What can I do?' Kerry asked, unsure of what Kim wanted form her.
'Kerry, there is a lot of unsettle business between you and Stevie. She tells me things but I know she doesn't tell me everything and the bits that she should be telling me to help her get better she refuses to share. It is this information that is the key to her road to recovery.'
'Kim.' That's all Kerry got out before Kim put up her hands to indicate Kerry didn't have to go on.
'Stevie's told me you don't want anything to do with her. She said there's no point in me even coming here to ask you to help, she claims to already know the answer.' Kerry's look let Kim know that Stevie was right but Kim had to at least try and convince Kerry. Kim thought she might try a different tactic. 'I need your help Dr. Weaver.' Kim put a little more emphasis on the word doctor. She saw a flash of approval on Kerry's face that was gone almost as quickly as it had arrived.
'You want my help as a doctor?' Kerry asked. She knew what Kim was trying to do. She admired what Kim was trying to do. Like herself Kim always went as far as she needed to to help her patients, although Kim sometimes went a little farther than Kerry, giving an elderly AWOL soldier a dead mans identity, Kerry thought back. She chuckled inside.
Kim knew she was rumbled. 'Kerry.' It was Kim's turn to be stopped after only one word.
'I do appreciate what you're trying to do. One doctor to another. Kim you don't need my help as a doctor.'
'I know Kerry but you were never going to help with me just asking you, I thought a little tactics might be useful.' The two doctors looked at each other. 'Kerry....'
'Kim.' Both women chuckled.
'Kerry I need your help to save Stevie. I've tried everything and you are my last hope.'
'Sometimes Kim,' Kerry started, 'some people don't want to be saved.'
'Does that mean we shouldn't try?' Kim asked, she would be amazed if that was what Kerry meant.
'Is it worth it?'
'WHAT!' Kim exclaimed. Kerry was taken aback, she knew Kim would react harshly but she didn't expect her to shout.
'Kim.' Kerry didn't know what to say. 'I can't help you. I've tried to help Stevie. I've had so many sleepless nights worrying about her. I've had so many trips to the hospital after countless suicide attempts. I've had an incalculable amount of nights of holding her after terrifying nightmares. I've been through...' Kerry stopped talking. She knew by the raised eyebrows on Kim's surprised face that Stevie hadn't told Kim very much about what the two of them had shared. Then she realized that Kim had gotten just what she wanted, more information. Kerry smiled. 'What exactly did she tell you?' Kerry asked, she wasn't going to say anything more until Kim answered her.
'Not much Kerry. Nothing that would give me a clue to why you don't talk anymore. It's clear you mean the world to her and clearly you still have affection for her.'
Kerry knew Kim and she knew Kim knew her, there was no point in trying to deny that. She knew Kim wasn't going to go away without a fight.
'Kim, ask me whatever you want. I'll answer as truthfully as I can.'
Knowing Kerry as well as she did Kim knew that was the best offer she was going to get from Kerry.
'OK.' Kim said she smiled at Kerry. Thinking over what Kerry had reveled she found her first question. 'Stevie stayed with you?'
'Yes.'
Often?'
'Yes.'
'How often?'
Kerry thought a second before answering. 'Everynight for about 3 or 4 years. You know, give or take a couple of months.' Kerry said with a sly smile.
Kim had expected Kerry to say a week, months even but she didn't expect years. She returned Kerry's smile. 'I didn't know she lived with you. I thought she maybe stayed weekends, some nights through the week. Why did she live with you?'
Kerry really couldn't believe she was being asked that. 'Didn't her grandparents tell you?' Kim looked confused. 'I knew Stevie would never tell you but...' Kerry broke off, she knew Stevie's grandparents so why was she so surprised that they didn't tell Stevie's doctor everything they needed to know to help their granddaughter.
'What is it?' Kim asked. She saw Kerry lost in thought and half come back when she spoke to her. 'Kerry.'
Kerry looked Kim in the eye before saying, 'I can't tell you Kim.'
'What do you mean you can't tell me?' Kim curtly asked. 'You're surprised her grandparents didn't tell me anything and now you're doing the same.' Kim exclaimed.
Giving Kim a moment to calm down enough to listen to her Kerry finally spoke. She wasn't looking at Kim but she could feel her watching her, it put Kerry on edge just a little. 'I made a promise Kim. I can't break it.' Kerry said, there was sorrow in her voice and a defying tone that let Kim know there was no point in trying to get her to reveal anything. Of course that didn't mean it would stop Kim trying.
'I understand not wanting to betray Stevie but if it means she'll get the help...'
Kerry stopped her, she knew that Kim meant well, she knew Kim was going to tell her all the reasons she should reveal Stevie's secrets but there was one thing Kerry knew that Kim didn't, 'Kim. I know Stevie. I know her well. I know her better than you will ever know so when I say that I can't tell you, please just accept it.' Kim's look told Kerry that wasn't good enough. 'She would know Kim.'
Kim frowned, 'She would know what Kerry?'
'She would know that I told you.' Kerry said softly.
'Thinking you wouldn't help she'd probably assume it was her grandparents.'
Kerry shook her her. 'Kim. I know her. She knows me. She would know. If her grandparents had told you you would have brought it up already but you haven't so she would know it was me. Please trust me. I can't tell you. I'm sorry. I really am.' Sorrow filled Kerry's voice. 'Telling you would do more damage.'
Kim knew Kerry meant what she was saying but she thought, 'In the longrun though Kerry we'd get there. It would be hard to begin with but...'
'Kim.' Kerry said imploring Kim to stop. 'She would never trust you Kim. She probably doesn't now and there would be no way that she would if...' Kerry broke off, there were tears in her eyes.
'Kerry.' Kim said softly. She didn't know what else to say. The only time Kim had seen Kerry this broken was the night after their first night together. Kerry had shown up at Kim's door, tears in her eyes after one of the worst days Kerry had ever experienced in the ER. She wanted to hold Kerry like she had that night but those days were past, all she could do was sit and wait for Kerry.
'I can't help you Kim. I know what it means not to help. I know it means Stevie might kill...' Kerry couldn't finish the sentence, '...I know but I also know what it means to get involved. I know what it will do to me and I know what it will do to my life. I know that sounds selfish but there's not only me to think about, I have someone else to think about in my life now.'
'Henry?' Kim asked.
How did Kim know about Henry Kerry wondered. 'Yes. He means everything to me and to have Stevie back in my life would complicate things too much.'
Kim was surprised Kerry would choose a man over the young woman who desperately needed her help. 'Kerry, I'm sure Henry is a lovely person and would understand the importance of helping Stevie?'
'He wouldn't Kim and as much as it pains me to say, I don't want her back in my life. I prayed if I did hear from her again that the news would be better but as it is not much has changed in her life.' Kerry's voice was soft, quiet. It was clear she was torn but had made her mind up.
Kim sympathized but it didn't last more than a second. It was soon replaced by anger. 'Kerry, this young woman is going to live the rest of her natural life in a hospital because of your selfishness. You were never like this but clearly having Henry in your life has changed you from someone who cares to a heartless bitch.' Kim stood and headed for the door. Opening it she turned back to the stunned Dr. Weaver, 'I expected very little from you when I came here today but Kerry, I didn't expect this. What happened to you Kerry? You're not the woman I fell in love with.' There was revulsion in Kim's voice. She was surprised at her tone but right at that moment she didn't care. All that mattered was her patient.
Kerry sat looking at the door Kim had just slammed shut. Tears falling from her eyes.