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News
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CrazyLegs caught lying, yet
again... |
 I
remember a time, not too long ago, that little Robby Scott denied
ever being a figure skater..."I was a hockey player...NOT a
figure skater!" was the cry heard 'round the office. Well,
the photo on the right proves him wrong, yet again. Robby and his
twin brother are shown in this undated photo, discovered recently
by Mr. X, in the "Alligators Are People, Too" all-boy figure
skating pageant. Time to fess up, Robby. Mr. X has unlimited
resources, and will stop at nothing to unearth the truth about
your sordid past. Click on the picture to view it even
BIGGER!!! Then check out the face of the kid on Robby's
immediate right. He looks scared s**tless with Robby holding his
tail. I would be scared too, and so would you. |
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Once again, just say NO to
drugs! |
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| SCANDAL
YET AGAIN!!! CrazyLegs Caught With A Girl! |
 The
Figure Skating world was shocked and stunned when the photo to
the left was circulated in a tabloid paper in the late 80's.
Before this, no young skating man-boy had ever been seen with a
girl. Again, CrazyLegs was breaking new ground, so to
speak.
The woman in this picture,
known only as "Flexi Lexi", is credited with making
CrazyLegs a man. No, not THAT...get your minds out of the
gutter. For this brief period in his life, CrazyLegs did
everything a regular young man would do...he hung out, went to
school dances, and huffed gas. With the help of Flexi, CrazyLegs
summoned the courage to be himself...flamboyant, and a little
Crazy. It is widely believed that this picture was taken at a
dance organized by the "Former Skating Lads Addicted
To Crack And Illicit Drugs"
also known as FLACCID. From what historians have
been able to piece together, CrazyLegs was also a charter member
of NOT-HUNG, SOFTY and HASNTBEENLAID.
God bless you, Flexi, wherever
you are. Thanks for helping make the man-boy we all know and
love.
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| The
Downfall Begins with Questionable Business Choices |
 Nobody
can pinpoint exactly when Crazy Legs started his slide, but we can be
sure that it was around his 'corporate whore' faze. Robby's increasing
dependency on Steroids & Viagra led him to endorse some questionable
products and to appear in some less-than-successful marketing campaigns
(see right).
A few years ago, there was a scare in
which people thought the flame broiling of the Burger King Whopper
caused headaches, nausea, vomiting, menstrual cramps in men, among other
symptoms. Robby appeared in a series of ads aimed at laying those rumors
to rest. Needless to say, the ads weren't a huge hit, and they were
pulled after nation-wide protests.
Robby then endorsed several products
that, in hind-sight, maybe he should've avoided. They were:
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New-Car
Scented Preparation H
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Ramses
Sesame Street Condoms for Children
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OJ
Simpson Brand Bruno Mali Shoes
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| CrazyLegs
Caught on Drug Binge |
 The
picture on the left was taken in the middle of a now-infamous CrazyLegs
drug binge. He had just finished downing his usual cocktail of anabolic
steroids and viagra, when he realized that the sheep he had just rented
for the evening were male, and therefore would be no use to him.
"@*%$# to bloody hell!" Robby
screamed. "Luther promised me those sheep were the hottest around,
now I'm gonna have to sign another endorsement deal to get me through
the month!" Robby went on to sign with Nike, Burger King, and
Pepperidge Farms, although the Pepperidge Farms deal fell thru when
CrazyLegs found out that they sold tasty cakes and pies, and were not a
sheep farm. |
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| Robby
Finishes Third |
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| Scandal
Rocks CrazyLegs |
 October,
1984 - Drugs and sports have
again become synonymous.
Little 'CrazyLegs' Robby Scott has been accused of steroid use at the
amateur ranks of figure skating. As recent as six months ago, Robby was
weighed at 119 lbs...today he is a buff 198 lbs with 2% body fat.
Experts believe that Robby still stuffs his Speedo.
Remember kids...steroids are wrong. Even
though Robby attained everything one could desire, 'roids will shrink
your testicles to the size of peanuts. Wherever little Robby is today,
his genitals are probably paying the price for his past indiscretions. |
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© Copyright 2001 Mr. X Productions
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