Artist: Tom Waits Album: Heartattack And Vine {1980}

Liar, liar with your pants on fire
White spades hangin' on the telephone wire
Gamblers reevaluate along the dotted line
You'll never recognize yourself on Heartattack and Vine

Doctor, lawyer, beggarman thief
Philly Joe Remarkable looks on in disbelief
If you wanna taste of madness, have to wait in line
Probably see someone you know on Heartattack and Vine

Boney's high on China white, Shorty found a punk
Don't you know there ain't no devil, there's just God when he's drunk
Well, this stuff will probably kill you, let's do another line
What you say you meet me down on Heartattack and Vine

See that little Jersey girl in a see-through top
With the peddle pushers suckin' on a soda pop
Well, I bet she's still a virgin but it's only twenty-five till nine
You can see a million of 'em on Heartattack and Vine

Better off in Iowa against your scrambled eggs
Than crawling down Cahuenga on a broken pair of legs
You'll find your ignorance is blissful every goddamn time
Your're waitin' for the R.T.D. on Heartattack and Vine

Boney's high on China white, Shorty found a punk
Don't you know there ain't no devil, there's just God when he's drunk
Well, this stuff will probably kill you, let's do another line
What you say you meet me down on Heartattack and Vine

Liar, liar with your pants on fire
White spade hangin' on the telephone wire
Gamblers reevaluate along the dotted line
Never recognize yourself on Heartattack and Vine

Doctor, lawyer, beggarman thief
Philly Joe Remarkable looks on in disbelief
If you want a taste of madness you'll have to wait in line
You'll probably see someone you know on Heartattack and Vine

See that little Jersey girl in the see-through top
With the peddle pushers suckin' on a soda pop
Well, I bet she's still a virgin but it's only twenty-five till nine
You can see a million of 'em on Heartattack and Vine

Boney's high on China white, Shorty found a punk
Don't you know there ain't no devil, there's just God when he's drunk
Well, this stuff will probably kill you, let's do another line
What you say you meet me down on Heartattack and Vine

INSTRUMENTAL

It's too early for the circus, it's too late for the bars
Everyone's sleepin' but the paperboy
And no one in this town is makin' any noise
But the dogs and the milkmen and me

The girls around here all look like Cadillacs
And no one likes a stranger here
I'd come home but I'm afraid that you won't take me back
But I'd trade off everything just to have you near

I know I'm irresponsible and I don't behave
And I ruin everything that I do
And I'll probably get arrested when I'm in my grave
But I'll be savin' all my love for you

I paid fifteen dollars for a prostitute
With too much makeup and a broken shoe
But her eyes were just a counterfeit, she tried to gyp me out of it
But you know that I'm still in love you

Don't listen to the rumors that you hear about me
Cos I ain't as half as bad as they make me out to be
Well, I may lose my mind but, baby, can't you see
That I'll be savin' all my love for you

Red Pants and the Sugarman in the Temple Street gloom
Drinkin' Chivas Regal in a four dollar room
Just another dead soldier in a powder blue night
Sugarman says, "Baby, everything's alright."
Goin' downtown, down, downtown
Goin' down, downtown

Montclaire De Havelin doin' the St. Vitus dance
Lookin' for someone to chop the lumber in his pants
How am I gonna unload all of this ice and all this mink
All the traffic in the street but it's so hard to think
Goin' downtown, down, downtown
Goin' down, downtown

Frankie's wearin' lipstick, Pierre Cardin
I swear to God I seen him holdin' hands with Jimmy Bond
Sally's high on crank, hungry for some sweets
Fem in the sheets but she's butch in the streets
Goin' downtown, down, downtown
Goin' down, downtown

It's the cool of the evening, the sun's goin' down
I want to hold you in my arms, I want to push you around
I want to break your bottle and spill out all your charms
Come on, baby, we'll set off all the burglar alarms
Goin' downtown, down, downtown
Goin' down, downtown

Red Pants and the Sugarman in Temple Street gloom
Are drinkin' Chivas Regal in a four dollar room
Just another dead soldier in a powder blue night
Red Pants turns to Sugarman, says, "Everything's alright."
Goin' downtown, down, downtown
Goin' down, downtown

Got no time for the corner boys
Down in the street makin' all that noise
Don't want no whores on Eighth Avenue
Cos tonight I'm gonna be with you

Cos tonight I'm gonna take that ride
Across the river to the Jersey side
Take my baby to the carnival
And I'll take you on all the rides

Down the shore everything's alright
You with your baby on a Saturday night, yeah
Don't you know that all my dreams come true
When I'm walkin' down the street with you

Sing sha, la, la, la, la
Sha, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la
Sha, la, la, sha, la, la, la
Sha, la, la, la, I'm in love with a Jersey girl
Sha, la, la, la, la
Sha, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la
Sha, la, la, sha, la, la, la
Sha, la, la, la, la, la

You know, she thrills me with all her charms
When I'm wrapped up in my baby's arms
My little angel gives me everything
I know someday that she'll wear my ring

So, don't bother me cos I got no time
I'm on my way to see that girl of mine, yeah
Nothin' else matters in this whole wide world
When you're in love with a Jersey girl

Sing sha, la, la, la, la
Sha, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la
Sha, la, la, sha, la, la, la
Sha, la, la, la, I'm in love with a Jersey girl
Sha, la, la, la, la
Sha, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la
Sha, la, la, sha, la, la, la
Sha, la, la, la, la, la

And I call your name, I can't sleep at night

Sha, la, la, la, la, la, la, la
Sha, la, la, la, la, la, la
Sha, la, la, la, la, la
Sha, la, la, la, I'm in love with a Jersey girl
Sha, la, la, la, la, yeah
Sha, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la
Sha, la, la, sha, la, la, la
Oh, I'm in love, I'm in love with a Jersey girl
Sha, la, la, la, la, yeah
Sha, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la

Check this strange beverage, falls out from the sky
Splashin' Bagdad on the Hudson in Panther Martin's eyes
He's high and outside wearin' candy apple red
Scarlet gave him twenty-seven stitches in his head
With a pint of green Chartruse, ain't nothin' seems right
You buy the Sunday paper on a Saturday night

Can't you hear the thunder, someone stole my watch
I sold a quart of blood and bought a half a pint of scotch
Someone tell those Chinamen on Telegraph Canyon Road
When you're on the bill with the spoon there ain't no time to unload
So, bye bye, baby - baby, bye bye

Droopy Stranger, Lonely Dreamer, Toy Puppy and the Prado
Were laughin' as they piled into Olmos' Eldorado
Jesus whispered, "Eany, meany, meany, miney, moe."
They're too proud to duck their heads, that's why they bring it down so low
So, bye bye, baby - baby, bye bye

Pointed man is smack dab in the middle of July
Swingin' from the rafters in his brand new tie
He said, "I can't go back to that hotel room, all they do is shout."
But he said, "Babe, I'll stay with you till the money runs out."
So, bye bye, baby - baby, bye bye
Bye bye, baby, bye
Bye, bye bye, baby - baby, bye bye
Bye bye, baby - baby, bye bye

Check this strange beverage that falls out from the sky
Splashin' Bagdad on the Hudson in Panther Martin's eyes
He's high and outside wearin' candy apple red
Scarlet gave him twenty-seven stitches in his head
With a pint of green Chartruse, ain't nothin' seems right
You buy the Sunday paper on a Saturday night
Bye bye, baby - baby, bye bye
Bye bye, baby - baby, bye bye
Bye bye, baby - baby, bye, oh, bye bye, baby
Bye bye, baby - baby, bye bye

Sticks and stones will break my bones but always will be true
And when your mama's dead and gone I'll sing this lullabye just for you
And what becomes of all the little boys who never comb their hair
They're lined up all around the block on the nickel over there

So, better bring a bucket, there's a hole in the pail
And if you don't get my letter then you'll know that I'm in jail
And what becomes of all the little boys who never say their prayers
They're sleepin' like a baby on the nickel over there

If you chew tobacco, wish upon a star
You'll find out where the scarecrows sit just like punchlines between the cars
And I know a place where a royal flush can never beat a pair
Even Thomas Jefferson is on the nickel over there

Ring around a Rosie, you're sleepin' in the rain
And you're always late for supper and man you let me down, let me down again
I thought I heard a mockingbird, Roosevelt knows where
You can skip the light with Grady Tuck on the nickel over there

So, what becomes of all the little boys who run away from home
The world just keeps gettin' bigger, once you get out on your own
So, here's to all the little boys, the sandman takes you where
You're sleepin' with a pillow, man, on the nickel over there

So, climb up through that button hole and fall right up the stairs
And I'll show you where the short dogs grow on the nickel over there

I spent all my money, Mexican whorehouse, baby
Across the street from a catholic church
Then I wiped off my revolver
And I buttoned up my burgundy shirt

I shot the morning in the back with my red wings on
Told the sun he'd better go back down
And if I can find a book of matches
I'm going to burn this hotel down

You got to tell me, brave captain
Why are the wicked so strong
How do the angels get to sleep
When the devil leaves his porchlight on

Well, I dropped thirty grand on the nugget slots
I had to sell my ass on Fremont Street
And the drummer said there's sanctuary
Over at the Bagdad Room

Oh, and that is one for the money
Two for the show
Three to get ready and go man go
I said, "Tell me Mr. Siegel, how do I get outta here?"

Willard's knocked out on a bottle of heat
Drivin' dangerous curves across the dirty sheets
He said, "Man, you ought to see her when her parents are gone
Man, you ought to hear her when the siren's on."

I said, "Tell me brave captain
Why are the wicked so strong
How do the angels get to sleep
When the devil leaves his porchlight on?"

Don't you know that ain't no broken bottle that I picked up in my headlights
On the other side of the Nevada line
Well, where they live hard, die young
Have a good lookin' corpse every time

Well, you know, the pit-boss said I should keep movin'
This is where you go when you die
So, I shot a black beauty
And I kissed her right between the eyes

Oh, now, Willard's knocked out on a bottle of heat
Drivin' dangerous curves across the dirty sheets
He said, "When the bitch is wound up and her parents are gone
Man, you ought to hear her with the siren on."

I said, "Tell me brave captain
Why are the wicked so strong
How do the angels get to sleep
When the devil leaves his porchlight on?"

I spent all my money, now, in a Mexican whorehouse
Across the street from a catholic church
And then I wiped off my revolver
And buttoned up my burgundy shirt

I shot the morning in the back, oh, with my red wings on
Told the sun he'd better go back down
And if I can find a book of matches
I'm going to burn this hotel down

Well, it's one for the money
Two for the show
I said, three to get ready and go man go
I said, "Tell me Mr. Siegel, how do I get outta here?"

I will leave behind all of my clothes I wore when I was with you
All I need's my railroad boots and my leather jacket
As I say goodbye to Ruby's arms, although my heart is breaking
I will steal away out through your blinds, for soon you will be waking

Morning light has washed your face and everything is turning blue now
Hold on to your pillow case, there's nothing I can do now
As I say goodbye to Ruby's arms you'll find another soldier
And I swear to God by Christmas time there'll be someone else to hold you

The only thing I'm taking is the scarf off of your clothesline
Hurry past your chest of drawers and your broken wind chimes
As I say goodbye, I'll say goodbye
Say goodbye to Ruby's arms

I will feel my way down the darkened hall and out into the morning
The hobos at the freightyards have kept their fires burning
So, Jesus Christ, this goddamn rain, will someone put me on a train
I'll never kiss your lips again or break your heart
As I say goodbye, I'll say goodbye
Say goodbye to Ruby's arms