Brent: I have shirt powers. I mean, look at this thing, it's got style combined with comfort. Stylomfort.

Wanda:: Nice shirt is just something you say, it doesn't mean anything. It's like 'pardon me' or 'have a nice day' or 'you look good, Brent'.

Emma: You can't even build a bird house without it falling apart.
Oscar: That wasn't my fault! Damn birds were flying around in there. My house, my rules, just come in and eat! No flying around!!

Hank: I gotta go.
Brent: Okay, see you at practice.
Hank: We're not on a team!

Lacey: Okay, if I start a pilates class will you join?
Brent: That depends.
Lacey: On what?
Brent: On what is pilates.
Lacey: Oh, okay. Pilates is a method of unifying your mind and your body--
Brent: You lost me.

Hank: I think I've worked out a plan.
Brent: All right, count me out.

Emma: Well then don't complain about the quality of the rice crispy squares.
Oscar: Well then bring back some that are square. I'm tired of eating rectangles!

Wanda: Whats in the bag?
Brent: Coffin nails.
Wanda: Cigarettes?
Brent: No, actual coffin nails.

Brent: So what is pilates again?
Lacey: Well, it's a way of unifying mind ---
Brent: Yea, I know, but what is it actually? Like what do you do?
Lacey: Oh. You sit on a mat and hold various positions.
Brent: Oh, like mat class.
Lacey: Mat class?
Brent: Yeah, mat class, we've had that for years. Wanda teaches mat class. She's great at mat class.