written on Wednesday, May 5, 1999

Many times, people blame problems on those who are different, the outcast.  Theft is blamed on the poor.  Violence is blamed on those with emotional problems.  So, for the most part, society has admonished itself, as a majority.

Someone who is attracted to his own gender is considered different, an outcast.  Whether or not anyone else knows and really does make him an outcast, he still lives with that fear and that social challenge.  Yet, would such an outcast be more likely to commit crimes?  No.  You see, people who have their own social challenges are less likely to commit social crimes.  Those who work hard for their money are less likely to steal than those who inherit it.  Those who struggle with violent abuse in their past are less likely to become abusers themselves than those who have only seen virtual violence on television or in games.

Adults constantly talk about pier pressure and how dangerous it can be for someone who doesn't feel like they fit in, but the truth is that those who are already popular are the ones doing stupid things (the degree of stupidity varies depending on the group they are popular in).  Those who are shy or have trouble making friends, those who feel different, are less likely to do outrageous things to be liked.  It's because challenges make a person stronger and wiser.

I often wonder why I have the attractions I have or why my life went the way it did.  But, who would I be if not for the challenges I've faced in my life?  If life comes easy, what value does it have?  I'd probably be a real jerk if everything came easy.  Those who were hurt, who daily live with challenges are better because of what they have faced and now face.

Life is hard and people don't like living with challenges (I know I don't), but when people seek to eliminate those challenges, the good, honest, and decent person they were gives way to the desires they were holding back because their challenges had stopped them before.  The self-made rich person spends all of his money on material desires and looses his real fulfillment.  The person who overcomes the problems of not having an outlet for his lustful desires, gives into them and corrupts his morality.

As much as we may not want to believe it, challenges make us better people.  So, instead of thinking of my past or my attractions as curses, I see them more as blessings.  People play out abusers as all having been abused in their past, but challenges are part of life and they don't make the world violent or bad.  People make the world violent or bad.  Everyone is responsible for their own actions.  And, in a world where so many things come easy (because of technology), causing crime and pain to be everywhere, I'm glad that I don't have an easy life.  I praise God not only for the good in my life, but also the bad.  I suppose I'm once again glad I am who I am...