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| *Introduction - we are The Contortionists. Everyone in the world lives in the singular way they do as to deal with the intricacies of their own existences. We are The Contortionists. *The Contortionists - stupid, meaningless name for a stupid, meaningless band. Aspire to get lumped in with the worst bands of our generation via our name, merely so that we may embarrass them into early retirement. *Meaningless Bands - inspiration must necessarily be derived from what has already been done, i.e. the past. Today's bands regurgitate the past wholesale for the youngsters; post-modern irony is evidently a lower form of wit than sarcasm. Sex and drugs and rock & roll? There are those whose very lives are so tedious as to actually believe in this imbecilic mantra. *Sex - as holy as the wisdom of Christ; perverted by the unintelligent to mean very little. An airbrushed fantasy for a man satanic in his baseness. *Drugs - a hip escape from oneself, from boredom, from pain. A means with which to experience the world so that there is less pain, evil and danger for a few hours. Drugs are for sick people. No one is of good health round our way. *Rock and/or Roll - protest music. *Protest - what else is there? *Real Jobs - nah. We're The Contortionists. *Consumerism - the mall is the soul of the soulless. *Art - the enemy of idiocy. *Idiocy - a total lack of the natural human drive to desire to understand how exactly the world and all of its inhabitants function and why they function in the fashion they do. *Humanity - squandered by the many. Embraced by the beautiful. *Beauty - virtue. Aspire to be as beautiful as is humanly possible, always. *Possibility - this band could be over soon, but we still make better copy than most of the cunts with plantinum records on their walls. Success is ours. *Conclusion - we're The Contortionists. And thre's a 90% chance that we despise you, whoever you are. ------- Black Stevens, 12th September 2003 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- We have set up a mailing list. Click on CONTACT on the main page to sign up. Also we're preparing to record a limited number of short three-song CD's, once they're done just drop us an email and we'll mail out to you. Still in formative stages right now so watch this space. The promise of a gig coming soon, more details when we know them ourselves. It's gonna be at the Bull and Gate, Kentish Town. Have it. Dan Pryor, 07 October 2003 -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Quick addition to just say the GIGS page is now work in progress, the broken email links on the CONTACT page are now fixed, the mailing list is active, and the site is purring like a kitten. A great rehearsal was had recently and a new song is ready for recording. Things are moving forwards despite how fucking busy we all seem to be. Sign up for our mailing list to recieve the first installment. Dan Pryor, 13th October 2003 -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- The first installment of the mailing list has been sent out, and today is the day we meet and greet our potential temporary drummer. Somehow other bands seem to go through drummers like out guitarists go thtrough STD's and paternity suits, yet we haven't had any luck whatsoever in the rythmic percussion department. This is why meeting a drummer who is only a possible temp is a big thing for us. We'll let you know how it goes. Probably. Or something. Dan Pryor, 22nd November 2003 -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- As most of you will know we have our first gig lined up. Some pretty decent place called Infinity in Mayfair, on the 11th of January. Should be fun. We'll be the first band on. We also had our first rehearsal with our temporary drummer Rob and it's really great to hear how much a song can totally change in sound and flavour with the addition of drums. It was a great 5 hours, minus the technical difficulties (Black's revolting chiken tikka sandwich for example) We'll keep you posted on further developments. Check out the gigs page for more info about our first gig. Dan Pryor, 26th December 2003 -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Already our first gig feels like it was years ago. Since the gig, I have managed to have a nasty accident involving my hand and some severed tendons and nerves and all that business. Almost back to normal and finally the band are ready to hit the studios again, in a flurry of rehearsing, writing and recording. At least, that's the plan. I'm not sure if Rob will be able to join us again, hopefully so. The search for a permanent drummer continues. Dan Pryor, 28th March 2004 -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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