What is this strange phenomenon known as air guitar really about? Well, if you haven't heard of it before, it's where wanabee musicians play a guitar that doesn't exist, yes folks, that's right, people who are actually sad enough to go up infront of a live audience and pretend to play the guitar. Of course, the music being actually "produced" is there as well, but it's only a tape or CD being played out and transmitted to the audience using speakers. Man, what a way to waste your life!
As with all my topics on this site, I decided to do a bit of research into the real agenda of air guitar. And what better way to get educated than to watch late night television? (well, going to school for one).
It was the night of the 21st of December 2002. It was the anniversary of some air crash in Scotland that happened in the 80s. It also happened to be the birthdate of a friend of mine. To me, it had been yet another boring day of the end of year school holidays. I went to the local market and found nothing of really interest except for illegally copied DVD's and "hot" computers and audio equipment. Well, the time was now 11:30 PM. The day before, I had finished my Nazi rant and I was wondering what I might cut open and slash in my next Complaint Newsletter rant. Well, after watching the James Bond movie From Russia with Love starring Sean Connery, I was getting tired but I decided to watch a bit more TV before turning in. Well, it wasn't the late night news that popped up, as it usually did after the Saturday night movie. So I thought to myself "What program would be so good that they'd have to delay the news just to show it?" It happened to be a show called Air Guitar- The Super Dave Odyssey. What I saw horrified me to say the very least. It was as if people were wrecking themselves on purpose just to get paid! In all seriousness, that's what it was like!
So, what would make grown men embarrass themselves by acting like three year olds? Well, I thought to myself, "Could they be mentally retarted? Did their friends dare them? Was this their life long ambition?" Then, in the true Sherlock Holmes fashion, I decided to look for minute details to answer this question. Then it hit me. The way they talked, the way they dressed, the way they acted. I now knew the answer. They did it for money. They screw themselves just for money! What observation directed me to exclaim such a statement, I hear you ask? Well, they looked, sounded and acted like lower class citizen, that's right, poor people who live in near shanty ...........
