The thing that really got my goat was really what they said. Here are some quotes that were uttered during the show:
An air guitar performer described air guitar as music without playing instruments. What the hell? The only was in which this is possible is if you listen to music being played on a tape, CD or radio. Which exactly happens to the stooges who attend air guitar concerts.
A host of a air guitar concert said "what you're about to see isn't original". Great work Chief. Now half the audience has lost interest and are about to leave momentarily.
Another air guitar player said "I play air guitar better than any guitarist." What? You play something fake better that someone playing something real? How's that possible jackass? Man, these people are deranged!
Here's the wisdom of another no-brainer: "I don't pretend to play the guitar, I play the air guitar!" So let me get this straight. You play something which doesn't exist, yet, you look like as if you are pretending to play something real. This makes no sense. Think about it.
It appears that I'm not the only person who thinks that air guitar blows. Here's a letter that appeared on the Letter to the Editor section of the Herald Sun newspaper on Christman Eve 2002:
FAKE GUITAR JUST HOT AIR
Saturday night. December 21. Channel 10. 11:20pm. Air Guitar- The Super Dave Show. Grown men seriously playing thin air. A vast and captivating audience.
A tour, groupies and wannabe wannabes. I'm still stupefied by the knowledge that people will wait in long queues for an "air signature".
A Gardiner
Highton
I must say that this guy is a genius man! He thinks exactly like me!
Well, after about 10 minutes watching this show, I turned the TV off and went straight to the toilet. The bile from the back of my throat was begging to be released from my sickened body. Serious, that's how I felt!
Also, one of the KFC commercials a while back had someone playing air guitar while advertising a Zinger burger. Not only did this Zinger burger taste like crap, but I'd perfer a cartoon version of Colonial Sanders in a KFC commercial than some idiot who thinks he's God's gift to the world! (By the way, KFC SUCKS!!!)
Well, I'm starting to get tired now. I think re-kindling about this shocking experience has made more bile to immigrate elsewhere. I better go to the john now. I'll see you next time on another exciting edition of the Complaint Newsletter.
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