Chapter 2: A deep breath, Epros and the personal ads, need I say more?
Epros stood in the middle of the field between Tenel and Madril. He took a deep breath and said, �Ah, alone again at long last! My previous moment of solitude is long since passed. I�m ever so delighted that I finally got the perky little lass off my ass, but alas.� He sighed and continued. �I am no longer an evil king, that evil being, and what I have not seen of the world is not worth seeing. So now that I�m alone once again, what�s my purpose, my raison d�etre, my reason of being?�
He started pacing, well, floating around, thinking, �What is it that I need? What shall be my next deed? I tried to join the circus, but because of that anorexic broad I did not succeed, but perhaps solitude is all I could ever need, and wanting anything more is just greed. Alas, I wish I could find some kind of sign to heed.�
A piece of paper bounced across the ground in the wind, coming from the direction of Tenel. It caught Epros�s eye, and he said, �Hark, what might this be? Could this be the sign that I asked to be sent to me?� He looked at the paper, and it turned out to be a page from the Tenel Times Newspaper, the personal ads.
He looked at the paper and went into deep thought. After a minute he said, �Yes, a mate is what I need, though it�s been several millennia since I�ve been on a date indeed.� He moved his finger around on the paper and continued his speech, �Now, which person shall it be that I chose to be the one to be the one for me?�
He read the ads, and the one that got his attention read, �I await for a powerful and mysterious man, both sensitive and cold, slightly evil, yet caring. He should be strong, colorful, queer, and daring. I will forever wait, overshadowed under a cloud of gray, for my night of shining armor to come a rescue me and save me from the depressing life I live day by day. ---the loner in the crowd -16� The address was listed bellow, and no gender was specified.
Epros started to journey toward Tenel town. He enjoyed slaughtering many Chicken-Chickens on the way, and came across the circus tent just outside of Tenel. The place had been a ghost tent for such a long time, but it was active for the festival going on.
He paused. His eyes opened wide and started to glow a piercing red, due to the horror that he saw. He started to sweat beads of perspiration filled with purple eye shadow. �Anything but that,� he thought. A screechy, annoying, stick-like strawberry blonde girl with a microphone, none other than Linda, ran up to him.
Epros ran, well floated, as the whinny little desperate horned and horny pop star chased yelling, �Why-did-you-transport-me-back-to-Madril-then-leave-me-and-go-off-on-your-own?-I-like-came-back-to-this-totally-filthy-circus-place-looking-for-you!-Omigod-Omigawd!-I-just-hate-being-alone!-It�s-like-sooo-scary!!!�
She was talking too fast for Epros to understand a word of it, but words like �omigawd,� �like,� and �totally,� weren�t in his vocabulary anyway, or at least not used in the same way. He was too busy trying to get away to even try to listen to what she was jabbering on about. He was thinking, �Whoa is me! My luck is too bad to be! I�d rather encounter anything else, since a broken rib is more pleasant than she! I fear she may brainwash me, but I can not let that be.�
It started to rain, and somehow, by the time he reached the fork in the road he had lost her. He looked at the address and it turned out to be the house singled out from the rest if the town, on the right side of the fork. He headed up the stairs and saw a boy sitting on the steps in front of the front door.
He moved a little bit closer, but the boy didn�t even see him, because he was sitting with his face in his hands. Then Epros noticed who it was. �You!?� he screamed out. The boy looked up. �What the�?�
Epros looked at him strangely and said, �Your sense of humor is one I don�t like. I�ll be off now, and I�ll go take a hike.� Ari blinked twice in a row. ��What are you talking about?� Ari heard the evil laugh again. Epros heard it too.
Stan came out from behind the tree, still laughing. Both Ari and Epros were confused. Epros spoke up, but of course, Ari didn�t. �You, shadow evil king, this prank is of your doing?�
Stan finally finished laughing, but he didn�t answer. Ari finally said something. �Um�I�m still confused.� Epros handed him the personal ad. Ari read it and thought, �What is this shit? Hey, that�s MY address, and MY age.� �WHAT THE FUCK!?� he said out loud.
Epros walked up to Stan, stood with his left hand on his hip, pointed with his right hand and said, �Some great evil king you are! Playing such childish pranks makes you as low as the most drunk guy at the bar!�
Stan started yelling and thrashing around. �WHAT KIND OF INSULT WAS THAT!? YOU FUCKED UP SON, NO LOVER OF SHAKESPEARE! YOU MAKE-UP WEARING, GAY, GIRLY MAN THAT DRESSES UP TO LOOK LIKE THE HOMO RAINBOW!�
Ari sighed.
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