April 9, 2002 - (Tuesday)
Feeling a little better today, cough is still here, but overall, I'm better! Amen!! Going to my WLS support group tonight, I haven't been there since I had the surgery since December and I'm looking forward to it. Maybe they'll talk about the "after the weightloss" phase, that I have been fearing lately. I guess since I've never been a "normal" weight, at least not since I was little, it should be feared, but I do have a while to get there, guess I'm just anticipating the negative of failing in the maintenance phase of my life. I should just worry about it when the time comes, but I'm a major worry-wart and I cannot help myself. Does anyone else torture themselves like I do?? Sheesh, I'm a mess!!!!
The weather was supposed to get to 70 degrees today, and I just checked my PC weatherbug and it's 69!!! Unbelievable!!! I cannot wait until spring really is here and I can get out and ride my bike at the beach. I want to bring it to the bike shop for a once-over, get it all greased up, tire pressure checked and away I will go!!!!!!! What's nice about riding at the Jersey shore is that it's flat. I can ride from Ocean Beach (our town) to Seaside and probably never hit an incline. That's a major feature when you are just starting out on your bike (and out of shape, like I am at the moment). Several years ago, when I lost a great deal of weight on diet pills and starvation, I was biking 30 miles or more over the weekends, doing aerobics 6 days a week, working with a personal trainer, etc. I don't think I'll get that excessive again, but I'd love to start a little more regimented exercise regime and maybe going to the beach on the weekends and riding my bike will help me kick start the weight loss a little more agressively. We are going to the beach house this weekend to tear the place apart, clean-clean-clean, and get ready for summer. Not that I'm looking forward to the cleaning, but it's a necessary evil. My only hope is that we can get it done in one weekend....Ugh, I hate cleaning...I just wasn't cut out for it. Another evil at the beach are WEEDS. Last year when I sprayed the weed killer on the rocks, it took at least 2 weekends to spray that stuff over the entire front/side yard. Guess I'll be back doing that again this year. All that time really paid off last year, just had to hit a few each weekend with the killer and kept them all at bay. Sheesh, enough with the spring cleaning drudgery, I'll be writing again soon, hope all are well...till next time :)
April 10, 2002 - (Wednesday)
Well, tonight is PASTA NIGHT at a local restaurant and I'm going to attempt to have the salad bar AGAIN and hope for the light ranch dressing will be there. If it's not there, I will SCREAM, but I have faith that it will be there. I was so disappointed several weeks ago when I went and they didn't have the right dressing, that I adore and was dreaming of for a whole week, so I hope I don't have to make a huge scene and be disappointed again (lol). Anyway, those are my plans for tonight, salad bar, yummmm yummmm -- delish!!!!!
I'm up a pound AGAIN today, bringing my total lost to 75.5 pounds. I am struggling with the same pound - pound and 1/2 for two weeks now, it's very frustrating. After tomorrow, which is my 4 month anniversary, I'm going to try to stay off the scale and only weigh weekly. I really get so disappointed stepping on the scale and see myself GAINING!!!! So I'm hoping that I can be an adult and only step on it once a week. Keeping my fingers *crossed*. Guess we'll see if that's possible. I've got to increase my food intake, I'm sure that's one of the main reasons I'm not losing, I'm not eating!!!!! I'm really just not eating a whole bunch at all. I'm not planning meals, or shopping or anything. Occasionally, I've called for take out pizza or calzone and eaten only the cheese, but that's not too often. Last night I did stop and get a small Wendy's chili with cheese and it was really yummy, so maybe I can add that to my list of things I can eat. Also, tuna is a steady....I was having trouble eating it, but now it seems like I've resolved those issues and it's OK again...so gotta start eating more of that!!!! I've got to get better. Faithfully, I've been consuming skim milk, I've been having approximately 16 oz. of milk everyday. Don't think that's enough protein to sustain life, got to get better (hitting self over head with baseball bat!!!). My water consumption is good, drinking my 64 oz. a day, so I've conquered one battle, now onto the food (or lack, thereof). All the tests at the urologist came back negative. My MRI showed no stones and the stone I did have tested came back as calcium, so I have to keep up my water intake and I should be OK -- I do have a follow-up appointment next Weds.
Hey if anyone has a minute, that reads this, stop by my guestbook (see link below) and say hello. I love meeting new people, especially if you've got websites of your own, I love reading them. I find them all inspirational. Ok that's it for now wish me luck at the salad bar tonight and stop by tomorrow for my 4 month picture update, not sure the 10 pounds I lost will really show in a snap, but it will be there......oops one last thought on the next page....hit the arrow.... :)
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