| hi, I don't know how to address you, since the time we've had together is far less than enough, and appropriate, to let me use the words like as "dearest", or "my love"......but the feelings inside of me are pushing me, strongly, to make me want to call you with words even more passionate than that......and god knows how much i want to hear you calling me "little baby" again, right at this moment......whispering in my ears when you tenderly held me in your arms like you did last night......after we had made love for the sencond round...... was it last night? or the night before last night? no, i think it should be 1.5 night? the time difference between where we are now makes it really hard for me to make out how far that beautiful-dream-like night was from me now......but it is not important, is it? i've got your burning breathes evaporated through my tongue...your soft touches engraved deep under my skin...and your trembling waves roared into the deepest inside of me......and i know it's not a beautiful dream that lasts only one short night, it is a freezed moment that will be remembered, by both of us, for an eternity...... and i knew i would be the one to initiate and make it happen, if it was going to happen at all...i saw it coming, after having my eyes meeting yours for the first time. we all know our first impression for each other couldn't be too great....my flight was late for more than four hours and there was going to be an over four hours' drive the next early morning. both of us were tired. however, i guessed it didn't prevent, or even subdue any startlingly strange feelings i got from seeing you for the first time. yes, strange feelings...i was sure that we never met before, but somehow the sense of familiarity was so strong that the only way i could explain this was, we must be very dearly close ones in the last lives of ours......yet, so what? one week later we would be separted half an earth far, and we might still be strangers...... and what about him? where, and how do i gonna put him in a heart that was used to be filled with him only? and i have just met you for......for......for how long? didn't we know each other already hundred lives ago? otherwise my heart won't ache, with my eyebrows tied, when i discovered from your eyes the endless sorrow deeply buried? NO......stop......it was the breath-taking night scene of NYC that made my thoughts go wild, not you......no, i couldn't let it happen......i should have felt cared and loved with his two calls to me everyday, and all these were gonna be over and forgotten after i go back to him....... but who could tell me how to feel contented with his always loving care, when my heart was already filled by your constant silent sighs, and disturbed by your occasional loud laughs.......how would my heart feel about him anymore? when you appeared in my life? and i knew it was not the long island ice tea, nor the whatever zombie it was swallowed by me in two minutes, and of course, nothing about that last half jack daniel of yours too......but it was the LAST night i be here......and could i bear the feeling, for the rest of my life, that i never felt you close? could i ? stars started dropping when you drove us back from NYC...dropping from the heaven to enjoy this little real world, for just one night........they would go up back there before the next night came, they had to..............after six days of holding, i finally had my fingers placed on your shoulder......moving toward you slowly and quietly.......just like stars softly falling without disturbing the sleepings......but all of a sudden, the entire milky way melt and started to pour and startled the almost drunk us when my reaching fingers, and those as electrifying ones of yours, came tips to tips.......and i knew it was going to happen...... i felt satisfyingly and securedly contented, like possessing the entire world in my own, when resting my cheeks on your laps......i could fall into a perpetual sleep like this, if there wasn't the gentle yet stirring passes of your burning fingers from my ears, to my eyes, to my lips......and i knew it was going to happen..... but what i didn't know was, you did not just place the entire world inside of me......you had lead me to every little corner and every top, and showed and thrilled me with all the unknowns......unknowns for a young little one like me...... and i have nowhere to go |
| this is not written by coffee, but a response, from a special one |
| a letter to you 5/6/2002 |
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