|
|
|
|
Jokes
Page Six
Billy was excited about his first day at school. So excited
in fact, that only a few minutes after class started, he realized that he desperately
needed to go to the bathroom.
So Billy raised his hand politely to ask if he could be
excused. Of course the teacher said yes, but asked Billy to
be quick.
Five minutes later Billy returned, looking more desperate
and embarrassed. "I can't find it", he admitted.
The teacher sat Billy down and drew him a little diagram to
where he should go and asked him if he will be able to find
it now.
Billy looked at the diagram, said "yes" and goes on
his way.
Well five minutes later he returned to the class room and
says to the teacher "I can't find it".
Frustrated, the teacher asked Tommy, a boy who has been at
the school for awhile, to help him find the bathroom.
So Tommy and Billy go together and five minutes later they
both return and sit down at their seats.
The teacher asks
Tommy "Well, did you find it?"
Tommy is quick with his
reply: "Oh sure, he just had his boxer shorts on backwards"
�
And God created woman and she had 3 breasts.
He then asked the� woman,
"Is there anything you'd like to have changed?"
She replied, "Yes, could get rid of this middle breast?"
And so it was done, and it was good.
Then the woman exclaimed as she was holding that third breast in her
hand, "What can be done with this useless boob?"
And God created man.
Betty & Tim were killed in an auto accident on the eve of
their wedding.
When they reached the pearly gates, St Peter
met them. They asked if they could still be married in
Heaven.�
'Well, let me find out if this is possible. Stay
there and I will be right back.'
Six months passed and finally Peter returned. 'Yes, we can
do this for you.'
The couple replied, 'Well as we have
spent so much time together waiting for your answer, we need
to know that if things don't work out, is there a
possibility that we could be divorced if the marriage
doesn't work out?'
To this St Peter answered, 'It took me six months to find a
priest up here...how long do you think it will take me to
find a lawyer!'
A guy gets home, runs into his house, slams the door and says,
Honey, pack your bags. I won the lottery!
The wife says, Wow! That's great! Should I pack for the ocean, or should I pack for the mountains?
He says, I don't care. Just get the fuck out.
�1. Save the whales. Collect the whole set
�2. A day without sunshine is like, night
�3. On the other hand, you have different fingers.
�4. I just got lost in thought. It was unfamiliar territory.
�5. 42.7 percent of all statistics are made up on the spot.
�6. 99 percent of lawyers give the rest a bad name.
�7. I feel like I'm diagonally parked in a parallel universe.
�8. You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say will be
misquoted, then used against you.
�9. I wonder how much deeper the ocean would be without sponges.
10. Honk if you love peace and quiet.
11. Remember half the people you know are below average.
12. Despite the cost of living, have you noticed how popular it
remains?
13. Nothing is fool-proof to a talented fool.
14. Atheism is a non-prophet organization.
15. He who laughs last thinks slowest.
Superman was bored fighting crime everyday. So, one Friday night he decided to go out on the town to have some fun. He drops by Batman's cave.�
"Hey Batman", he says "Wanna go out tonight?"�
"No, I can't, the bat mobile is broken and I gotta stay home and fix it, or else I won't be able to fight crime."�
"You loser!" says Superman, and he flies away. He decides to stop by Spider man's house.�
"Hey, Spidey, how about hitting the town tonight, you and me," he says.�
"I'd love to , but I can't," replies Spiderman "My web is broken and I gotta' fix it to fight crime"�
Superman gets all disgusted and says "You loser! Stay at home on a Friday night and fix your dam web! So he flies away.�
Later, while flying from up high above he spots WonderWoman lying stark naked on her back spread-eagle. Superman thinks, "What the hey?�I am Superman, Why don't I just fly down there and have a quickie?�I'm so fast she won't even feel it."�
So Superman flies down, does a quick in-out-in-out and flies away at the speed of light.�
A moment later, WonderWoman says, "What the hell was that?"�
The Invisible Man says, "I don't know but it hurt like hell!"�
�
�
�
�
The
Coffee Pot