Cocaine in Motion- Who We Are (page 2)

What is Jamie Denvir looking at in this photo?
I dont care, and you shouldn't either.

I hate him almost as much as I hate myself. I'm kidding, of course. Jamie is a fan-tastic part of CiM, and is full of love towards every white, Protestant CiM member who doesn't get too close to his face. He doesn't allow that.

He might not have a flashy nickname, but Sam West: Codename Falcon could beat any of you up. He can and will kick your ass. So shut your mouth, and let your fists do the talking. The fight is a universal language, an intricate calligraphy of pain. This language, spoken only in the fast whips of a Korean deathpunch, is the language of retribution. Do not ever mess with him, for he is inconcievably strong. Imagine a truck travelling at 60 miles per hour, then smashing into a brick wall. His strength is the brick wall. And you are the truck. When you feel your bones crumble you know that you have made your last mistake. But do not give him a contract. He is not a prize fighter. He lives only for the fight, and no trophy can describe his limitless power. Do not ever cross him, lest you enjoy the taste of your own blood [and/or semen].

Ben Storch, commonly referred to as Queerben, is best known for his brainchild, Crazy Cracker Productions, which he conceived during the long and drawn out daze of Jr. High School at Alice Deal. Along with his fellow Crazy Crackers, Storch does his best to bring quality barrels of monkeys to the masses despite his great desire to simply sit on his ass all day, watch pornography, and occasionally work up the energy to remark, "Where da cheeze at?!" When reached for comment as to where his crooked life is going, Storch had this to say, "Yeeah. Some say I's isn't the same man I used to be ever since the shiznat went down, [they say] I's gone SOFT, but da foooools who say dat [are the ones] I's is goin' to be runnin over in my BENZ while I'm speeding in a school zone!

Seth Teicher was born to a blind ape who raised him on fritos and fig newtons in the jungles of south Georgia. He discovered that magical plant [guava] at the ripe old age of four, and quickly began distributing it worldwide. As Seth got bigger, so did his penis and his blind ape mother, who decided it would be best if she sent him to Washington DC to live as an apprentice to a large homeless man named Robert Plant. Seth did the rest of his growing, he now stands at 6 feet 11 inches and enjoys watching football and scratching himself. He enjoys consuming guava extract and has killed 4 people accidentially. Do not get near him! That is it mang!

Josh Scall, the self-proclaimed bitch of the group, can usually be found down near the booneys. Abandoned at a young age, Scall quickly resorted to survival tactics: eating from trash cans, sucking dick for mere quarters and living at K-mart. Finally, Scall got another chance; a train ticket to Deluth, Minnesota. There he learned the art of ice fishing, which he still practices today. He finally somehow found himself in DC, where he still resides today.

He is very sad to depart his CiM friends, as he goes on to Edmund Burke school for kids with A.D.D.

Despite the reputation, sometimes in Hollywood you don't need to be one of the beautiful people to get by. When your charisma and talent are undeniable, you can usually manage to sneak through. Well Scorpion certainly has plenty of talent, not to mention a willingness to do whatever it takes for a film role- how many young stars would have humped a pie for millions to see? Well, actually quite a few, but none of them would have been nearly as entertaining as Scorpion. Why? Well, that boils down to the second part of the equation- charm. Scorpion posesses a kind of 'every guy' charm that draws audiences in. He's not so much geeky as he is delightfully average, which makes him so much fun to identify with... We can easily see ourselves in his shoes. We love you Scorpion!

Austin Ladusky, standing tall at a mighty 5' 5'', is a drug dealer.
He sells heroin, PCP, cocaine, crystal meth, crack [rock] cocaine, horse tranquilizer, ecstacy, blauder acid, pill acid, hallucinogenic mushrooms, mushroom tea, marijuana, opium, valium, opium mixed with valium, valium mixed with horse tranquilizer, codine, and synthetic mescaline.
In his free time, he gardens, and rides his bright red bicycle.
He volunteers at a center for blind children, and is on the recycling team at school. He is a virgin and plans to remain that way until marriage. "I want to save myself for someone I love. The body is fragile and deserves respect. I one day will find my maiden."
Austin does not jaywalk. "I will wait my turn, thank you very much. No use in gambling with death," he says. Austin loves all God's children.