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I Found These Interesting Facts Even More Interesting Than the Last Bunch. If This Doesn't Please, Then Please Refer to Belly-button for Further Reference! |
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ONCE MORE I FIND MYSELF HERE, THE CROSS OF LANGUAGE THAT LEADS TO PEACE. |
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If my toes do not suffice, then please return to the hole and ask Granulator if he would be willing to get you some knees. |
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Next time don't even ask! |
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Just ask next time, will you! |
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If you are not sure what to do, just ask, but please don't ask. |
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If you shouted for 8 years, 7 months and 6 days you would have produced enough sound energy to heat up a cup of coffee |
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On average right handed people live nine years longer than left handed people. |
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A pig's orgasm lasts for half an hour. |
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You are more likely to be killed by a champagne cork, than by a poisenous spider. |
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Banging your head agaisnt the wall burns 150 calories per hour. |
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You can't kill yourself by holding your breath. |
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Every time you lick a stamp, you burn one tenth of a calorie. |
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A cockroah will live nine days without its head, until it staves to death. Bummer! |
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| A catfish has over 27,000 tastebuds which makes it number one in the list for the animal with the most tastebuds, if there is such a thing. |
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Butterflies taste with thier feet. |
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Apparently it is impossible to sneeze with your eyes open. I would like to test this so if anybody has enough faith in me, could they please report to some office somewhere so I can sellotape your eyes open while making you sneeze. I'm too wimpy to try it out myself! |
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Cat's urine glows under a black light. |
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A male praying mantis cannot have sex with its head attached to its body, which is why a female initiates sex by ripping the male's head off. |
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Starfish do not have brains. |
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NOW FOR SOME AMUSING MEDICAL STORIES, ALL OF WHICH ARE TRUE! |
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A 500lb woman from Illinois, US, was examined in hospital. During the examination an asthma inhaler fell from beneath her armpit, a dime was found beneath one of her breats, and a remote control was found lodged between the folds of her vulva. Oh dear. |
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A couple walked into an emergency room in Washington covered in bloody restaurant towels. The man had his around his waist, the woman had hers around her head. They eventually explained to the docters that they had gone out for a romantic dinner that evening. Overcome with passion the woman creeped under the table to administer oral sex to the man. During the incident she had an epileptic fit, which caused her to clamp her teeth on the man's member and wrench it from side to side. Ouch! In agony and desperation the man grabbed a fork from the table and stabbed the woman until she let go! |
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A woman walked into a docter's surgery complaining of severe abdominal pains. When asked if she was sexually active she replied that she wasn't. A later examination showed she was pregnant. When asked why she said she was not sexually active she relplied, 'No, I'm not, I just lie there.'. And when asked if she knew who the father was she replied, 'No who?!' |
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A drunk staggered into an emergency room, and complained of pain while trying to remove his contact lense. He said that he could pull them out half way, but they always popped back in again. A nurse tried using a suction pump but without success. After that a docter examined him, and found out that he didn't have a contact lense in at all: He had been trying to rip out the membrane of his cornea. |
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NOW FOR SOME AMUSING LAWS, FIVE OF WHICH ARE TRUE. |
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Most middle easten countries recognise the following Islamic law: 'After having sexual relations with a lamb, it is a mortal sin to eat its flesh.' |
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The penelty for masturbation in Indonesia is decapitation |
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Topless sales women are legal in Liverpool, but only in tropical fish stores. |
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It is still legal to kill a Scotsman with a long bow, provided you are within city walls. This doesn't make it right. |
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It is the law that a hay bale must be carried in cars for the horse!! |
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NOW FOR A FINAL JOKE, WHICH SINCE I HAVE STARTED TELLING IT, HAS PROVIDED ME WITH ONLY ONE PIECE OF INFO.: I AM THE ONLY PERSON WHO FINDS IT FUNNY! (along with Gollywog, who is a person, not a racist Robinson's charictor) |
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A woman goes into a grocery store and carefully selects a pound of bacon, a gallon of milk, a loaf of bread, and a carton of eggs. She then gets in line for the checkout counter. As she loads her shopping onto the conveyer, she notices the man behind her wathcing her. As she places the last item down, the man says to her "I'll bet you're single!" "That's amazing!" She says "I am single, how did you know that?" The man replies "Because you're so f*cking ugly!" |
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