On The Jazz
On The Jazz Newsletter: Volume 4 Issue N°3

Date: November 19, 1997
Author: Nicole Pellegrini
Download: otjv04i03.zip

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(Home of the On the Jazz Newsletter Archives)
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DATE:  November 19, 1997
ISSUE:  3
VOLUME: 4

Current newsletter + mailing list subscribership: 203
Current newsletter-only subscribership: 363
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Well, a little late but better than never...! I've been working non-stop getting the next 'zine together, plus we had a bit of a medical emergency with one of the cats, so that's my excuse. But finally, we're back in action! So read on...

NEWS AND ANNOUNCEMENTS:
Recent sightings
New fanzine from Sockii Press
Change of address for the Thirteenth Tribe
ALTERNATIVE EPISODE GUIDE ENTRIES
Recipe for Heavy Bread
The Only Church in Town
HELEN'S MURDOCK LIST
VCR WATCH
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NEWS AND ANNOUNCEMENTS:

RECENT SIGHTINGS: As mentioned last issue, Stephen J. Cannell appeared in a recent episode of "Diagnosis Murder", entitled "Must See TV". This was a highly amusing episode and appearance by Cannell, who played a washed-up TV Producer. Also, Eddie Velez was spotted recently in an episode of the new syndicated series, "Nightman".
----
NEW FANZINE FROM SOCKII PRESS: Yep, it's finally here! The latest 'zine is finishing printing as I type, so I can begin to accept orders as copies will be ready to mail later this week. And this time around it's...

>>>A TEAM THROUGH TIME<<<
- a "special edition" A-Team 'zine, featuring predominantly stories set in alternative time lines and universes, plus some highly imaginative crossovers. This issue includes the following stories:

"Truth and Consequences" an A-Team/Xena novella by Chris Hammell. The Team's been hired to rescue a princess, but the situation is more complicated than it seems! Can former enemies work together to bring down an evil King? Can a wanted mercenary and a traveling bard find love - or will they "face" execution first? A fast-paced, humorous adventure.

"Star Team: A New Plan" by Jessica Hargis. Darth Vader may have met his match when faced off against -- Hannibal Smith? A hilarious spoof of the original Star Wars movie.

"The Wonderful Wizard of L.A." by Kristin Munson. Follow the Ghetto Brick Road for more laughs in another parody-style story.

"A Tale of Tanis" by Jill Ripley (originally published in The A-Team Appreciation Society Newsletter). It's B.A.'s birthday, and the guys try to celebrate (and lose B.A. along the way) by visiting an A-Team minicon.

"The A-Team of the Round Table" by Rhonda Eudaly. Hallucination or strange new reality? Murdock can't be sure--he just wishes Face would stop calling him Galahad!

"Riders of the High Plains Trail" by Kristin Munson. A story that transports the Team back to the days of the Civil War--where they have been accused of robbing a Confederate Bank.

"Another Time, Another Place" by Jackie Giacomo. What if fate had kept the Team from ever going on their mission to rob the Bank of Hanoi?

"Mayhem on Main Street"/"Prisoners"/"It's Cold Outside" by Andy E. Nystrom (originally posted to the On the Jazz mailing list.) A related trilogy of multi-crossover stories, involving fandoms from Quantum Leap to Red Dwarf. Has someone been manipulating the Team's fate since the Vietnam War? Do the guys lead a truly charmed existence? And can they rally together once more, with the help of other heroes, to stop an evil force from taking over the universe? Laughs and serious adventure mixed in a truly imaginative tale.

121 pages, spiral bound. Includes original and photographic illustrations. Price per copy is $9 plus postage -- add $3 for U.S. Priority Mail delivery; overseas Air Mail rates are to be determined shortly, so please email if you need a quote and I will post the Airmail rates later this week.

All payments should be mailed to: Nicole Pellegrini, 2429 Locust Street #315, Philadelphia PA 19103. Checks/money orders please in U.S. funds ONLY. Cash sent at your risk.

This 'zine will also be made available on-line in the coming days, in Adobe Acrobat format, for a $2 shareware downloading fee. Stay tuned for further information -- at the latest this should be ready to go by the next newsletter if not much sooner.

For more information on still-in-print previous 'zines, and which 'zines are currently open for new submissions, visit sockii.html. The next publication will be PLANS SCAMS & VANS 5, which is CLOSED for further submissions now and planned for publication by February '98. After that will hopefully be WHATEVER GETS YOU THROUGH THE NIGHT #2, our multi-media adult 'zine, still open for submissions. Many other titles are looking for submissions at the present time.
---
CHANGE OF ADDRESS FOR THE THIRTEENTH TRIBE: I received a short note this week from the Thirteenth Tribe, the Battlestar Galactica fanclub based in the UK. They asked to please pass along to all interested parties that their new contact address is: The Thirteenth Tribe, c/o 31 Middleton Road, Morden, Surrey SM4 6RU, England.
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ALTERNATIVE EPISODE GUIDE - 2 more entries in our expanded Episode Guide this issue, thanks once again to Rachel Walker.

Recipe For Heavy Bread

While living the good life, wining and dining with Hollywood's finest, Face makes a discovery. Naturally, he brings the rest of the team along to confirm his suspicions, that a cook from their POW camp is now a chef at an LA restaurant. Naturally they are skeptical until they taste the bread (complete with a hint of jasmine) and then see their old cook hanging out by the ice sculptures. BA is so elated by the discovery that he just can't resist hurling a couple of unsuspecting waiters into the desert trolley and taking off after the said Lin Duk Coo.

Of course, it's not as simple as that, and moments later the cook is bundled into a van by a couple of hoodlums and the team give chase. Having followed them to their bad guys hide away at a local bakery, Hannibal sets the rescue plan in motion.

Inside, Lin Duk Coo is about to have his head blown off when Hannibal makes his presence known. Meanwhile outside, Face steals a delivery truck, waiting politely for the bad guys to hide behind some boxes before shooting at them, and prepares to drive the boys to safety. Out burst the search and rescue team with a somewhat confused and grateful Lin Duk Coo and they drive to freedom covered by the ever insane HM Murdock clinging precariously to the top of BA's van.

Later that day the gang are hanging out at Face's new pad. They are VERY impressed, especially by the pink silk pajamas he has borrowed from Mr. Toni, the renowned interior decorator. As it turns out, a General Chow sent Lin to America to work for a Thomas Anderson. This news comes as something of a shock as both were last seen at the POW camp and are not favorites with the team. They vow to get to the bottom of all this and set off to have a little word with Mr. Anderson (formerly Lt. Angel, USN Ret.).

During their brief, but informative, chat with Angel, Hannibal realizes that they are now the proud owners of several pounds of China White. Murdock seems relatively unimpressed, he has other fish to fry. Namely heartless golfers. So Angel offers them $1,000,000 and Chow for Lin and the van. They agree.

And thus the Golfball Liberation Army was formed and a new day dawned in the lives of the rich elite, so long uncaring of the misery they inflicted. Confused? So is the rest of the team but they all vow to help Murdock out anyway.

Meanwhile the team are making a bit of a mess of the parking garage causing Face a good deal of grief with his fellow residents and just as he totally fails to pick up a pretty blonde in a sports car the heroine is found hidden inside the bread in the delivery truck he stole. Slowly a plan forms in Hannibal's mind and he heads for a phone to tell Angel where to meet. But there's a problem. Angel isn't as stupid as he looks and he traces the call.....

So, Amy and Lin do a bit of baking, Murdock informs everyone on the horrors of the golf ball washer and BA rips the innards out of a couple of elevators. Pretty soon they have the fake heroin loaded into their hastily constructed assault vehicle and the gang decide to get forty winks before the big show down.

But what's that we hear....? A helicopter? Automatic gun fire....?

Who has given the team an unscheduled wake up call? Will Face ever be able to explain the state of the common areas? Will the golf balls ever be free?

Tune in for the exciting conclusion.......

Useful information from the episode.

1) China White is not a breed of dog.

2) Never invite BA to a restaurant unless you want to skip out on your tab.

Highlights:

1) The proposed telethon with Arnold Palmer

2) Faceman's new apartment, before and after the assault with a semi-automatic.

Thought for the day:

Once a creep, always a creep.

Quote of the week:

BA:

"Another common area bites the dust."
*****
The Only Church in Town

Far away in Ecuador trouble is brewing. Drunken louts, complete with their resident cockney, are having a gay old time harassing the local religious community. But one of the nuns is getting a bit ticked off by this sort of behavior and sets out to write a letter. Clutching an old piece of jewelry in her hand she boldly sets the plot in motion.

Meanwhile in an LA penthouse suite Face is having his own party along with an unusually gullible brunette. Things are going swimmingly until Father O'Malley shows up from the orphanage. Face tries to be polite, secretly wondering if the old chap has a detective agency following his every move. But as it turns out he's more than a little interested in the letter O'Malley has brought with him, and a certain decorative pin. Hastily removing the brunette from his apartment he calls the team.

The rest of the guys, though, are less than impressed by Face's plan to run off and save the mysterious Leslie Becktall. They seem a little surprised he's so keen considering she left him without so much as a word fifteen years before. On the other hand, Murdock IS impressed by Face's new apartment. But Face is convinced by his ex-girlfriend's letter and the return of the fraternity pin he was going to give her as an engagement present, so he decides there's only one thing for it. He will hire the A-Team.

So off the boys go to steal a plane and pretty soon they're heading to Ecuador. Hannibal is a little worried about his brooding Lieutenant, but that's nothing compared to his extreme concern when Face claims that he doesn't care about the money, they should buy a car. What's got into the guy? So, the Colonel makes a hasty exit leaving Amy the job of having a little heart to heart with Face.

Well, it turns out that this Leslie Becktall character broke the poor boy's heart and turned him to a life of wild parties and one night stands. Well, there had to be a reason, right? Anyway, he was rather cut up about it and did what any sane person would do in 1968, join the army. And the rest, as they say, is history.

Some time later we find the team banging along a dirt road in the heart of Ecuador, BA sound asleep in the back. Pretty soon they have to stop for some gas and, wouldn't you know it, the police show up. Since Hannibal stole the plane from the military AND told Lynch he was doing it, they assume they're after them and take cover. Unfortunately BA chooses that precise moment to start waking up and the entire team pile on top of him to keep him quiet. It doesn't last long. As soon as the federales have gone BA goes ballistic and vows revenge. Yeah, like that's ever going to happen.

With BA still in a pretty foul mood they finally arrive at Santa Maria's Orphanage. Unfortunately the mother superior is surprisingly rude to them and tells them there's nobody called Leslie Becktall living there. Suddenly out of nowhere a small boy races from the gate, an athletic nun hot on his heels. Realizing that the habit will probably slow her down Face gives pursuit and drags the kid back. But, wouldn't you know it, it's the infamous Leslie Becktall and Face is understandably confused.

So, it appears that the love of Face's life ran away fifteen years ago to join a nunnery. Well, that really sucks, doesn't it. Bound to give the poor chap a complex if you ask me. But the team realize that something odd is going on so Murdock and Face sneak into the orphanage disguised as a couple of very hairy nuns.

Inside Face discovers that a local hoodlum and his gang are hiding out at the orphanage so he sends Murdock back out to tell the team to make plans. Once informed, Hannibal's gray matter springs into action and pretty soon they have their very own Trojan Horse. Sure enough, the bad guys fall for the fake whiskey wagon and get blind drunk allowing for a very easy capture. Having dumped the bandits on the road the team head back to Santa Maria's to celebrate. But they hadn't counted on one thing...the bandits have friends....

Will Hannibal be able to get the guys out of this latest calamity? Will Face stoop to an all time low and try to pick up a nun? Will the Mother Superior ever bloody well cheer up?

Your guess is as good as mine......

Useful information from the episode.

1) Neurosurgery essentially boils down to nerves, synapses, ganglia and other stuff.

2) Never accept gifts from strangers.

3) Never mess with nuns.

Highlights:

1) The revolving bed.

2) Murdock in a nun's habit decking the cockney.

Thought for the day:

Murdock looks surprisingly good in that habit.
Quote of the week:

Face in 'his' apartment:

"Murdock, be careful with this stuff, it doesn't belong to me you know."
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HELEN'S MURDOCK LIST -- A while back there were some contests on the mailing list to come up with best reasons why Face/Murdock/B.A./Hannibal were the best members of the A-Team. Helen Volk won the Murdock contest, then went back and "further researched" the subject for an "ultimate" list (though she stresses that her list is based on the fX (edited) versions of episodes, therefore a few things may have slipped through the cutting room cracks!

Thanks to Helen for saving my butt by providing us with a feature article this issue, while I was too busy to transcribe anything. I'm encouraging all list members to submit their own lists and other features based on their favorite team members for future issues of the newsletter!

My best reasons why Murdock is the best member of the A-Team
Helen D. Volk, 1997
(Based on fX syndicated versions)

1. Murdock is the team's rescuer. They would have been caught/killed in at least 23 episodes without him.

Children of Jamestown, Rabbit Who Ate Las Vegas, Holiday in the Hills, One More Time, Till Death Do Us Part, When You Comin Back Range Rider?, There's Always a Catch, Chopping Spree, Fire, Trouble on Wheels, Road Games, Incident at Crystal Lake, Blood, Sweat and Cheers, Road to Hope, Body Slam, Cowboy George, Mind Games, Mission of Peace, The Sound of Thunder, Trial by Fire, Firing Line, Quarterback Sneak, The Crystal Skull

2. In at least 6 episodes, Murdock flew the client(s) to safety, and rescued the team.

Children of Jamestown
The Rabbit Who Ate Las Vegas
Holiday in the Hills
Till Death Do Us Part
The Sound of Thunder
Quarterback Sneak

3. Murdock is the team's pilot and they could not have done 35 of the missions without being able to fly there or use the air.

Mexican Slayride
Children of Jamestown
Pros & Cons
Holiday in The Hills
West Coast Turnaround
Till Death Do Us Part
Beast from the Belly of a Boeing
Diamonds 'N Dust
Recipe for Heavy Bread
Only Church in Town
Bad Time on the Border
When You Comin� Back Range Rider?
In Plane Sight
The Battle of Belair
Bullets & Bikini's
The Bend in the River
Double Heat
The Island
Sheriffs of Rivertown
Skins
Road Games
Moving Targets
Incident at Crystal Lake
Judgment Day
Where Is the Monster When You Need Him?
Lease with an Option to Die
Mind Games
The Doctor Is Out
Wheel of Fortune
The A-team Is Coming, the A-team Is Coming
Members Only
The Sound of Thunder
Dishpan Man
The Say Uncle Affair
Crystal Skull

4. Gosh, Murdock crashed a few planes and everyone survived. Now that's a great pilot.

Holiday in the Hills
Till Death Do Us Part
Moving Targets

5. Murdock is the team musician:

He sings in 28 episodes:

A Small But Deadly War
Black Day at Bad Rock
Holiday in the Hills
The Out of Towners
One More Time
A Nice Place to Visit
Diamond �n Dust
Recipe for Heavy Bread
Bad Time on the Border
When You Comin' Back Range Rider?
Labor Pains
Steel
The White Ballot
Say It With Bullets
Semi-Friendly Persuasion
Bullets & Bikini's
Bend in the River, Part II
Fire
Timber
Trouble on Wheels
The Big Squeeze
Trouble Brewing
Judgment Day, Part 2
There Goes the Neighborhood
Uncle Buckle Up
Cowboy George
Trial by Fire
The Say Uncle Affair

He plays the organ (the Big Squeeze).
He plays the invisible harmonica (The White Ballot).
He whistles (Incident on Crystal Lake, the Quarterback Sneak, Bullets & Bikinis).

6. Murdock is the only team member who had an episode in which his roles were reprised (Curtain Call). That was only in the second season and 9 episodes were used. Imagine how many parts they would have needed if they waited a season or two or three. Murdock�s roles were reprised from:

Black Day at Bad Rock (twice)
Holiday in the Hills (twice)
Till Death Do Us Part
There�s Always a Catch
Diamonds �n Dust (twice)
A Small But Deadly War
When You Comin� Back Range Rider? Part 1(twice)
Beast from the Belly of a Boeing
The Maltese Cow.

7. Murdock fulfilled his team obligations because he was "solid" and yet "different" (Hannibal in the Taxicab Wars) and in spite of his questionable membership (Showdown: "three men" on the run, never got his name in the paper), not included in all the missions (Black Day at Bad Rock) and when the team moved to Virginia, they took Frankie but not Murdock. But he got there on his own anyway, lived separately and got jobs (Firing Line) so he could continue to be a part of the team. Now, that is devotion.

8. Murdock is the only member to say "Book 'em Danno" and he said it twice: (A Small and Deadly War and Say it With Bullets).

9. Murdock is the "secret weapon" of the A-team (Showdown) and is the only one who could be seen in public, yet unseen and do some jobs when the others could be identified. (The Road to Hope, The Spy Who Mugged Me).

10. Murdock had the same rare blood type as BA and saved his life (A Black Day at Bad Rock).

11. Murdock gave us a sampling of BA's sense of humor when BA responded to some of his creations:

Murdock's Sockii and B.A.'s Knock Out (The Taxicab Wars);
Murdock's Lefty and B.A.'s Big Lefty (Waste 'em);
Murdock's Little Squirt and B.A.'s Big Squirt (Fire);
Murdock's b b d w o g h and B.A.'s a o a m s (The Big Squeeze) and
the vitamin pill B.A. gave Murdock (Trouble Brewing).

12. While Hannibal and Face also used disguises, Murdock imitated famous people:
The Out of Towners - Porky Pig
West Cost Turnaround: John Wayne
Beast from the Belly of a Boeing: James Cagney and Richard Burton
Diamonds 'n Dust: Peter O'Toole
The Only Church in Town: Tarzan
The White Ballot: Nixon
The Maltese Cow: Philip Marlowe
The Battle of Belair: Cookie Monster
Say it With Bullets: 50's television programs: the Beaver, Howdy Dowdy,
Allen Funt (Candid Camera)
Chopping Spree: John Wayne
Double Heat: Walter Cronkite
Trouble on Wheels: the Godfather
Sheriffs of Rivertown: Jack Webb�s Dragnet opening
Cup A' Joe: Darth Vader
Moving Targets: Al Jolson
Knights of the Road: Richard Burton, Howard Cosell, Clint Eastwood
Lease with an Option to Die: Walter Winchell, voice of the Untouchables
Mind Games: Sylvester the Cat, Bullwinkle and Henry Kissinger
Mission of Peace: Walter Brennan
The Say Uncle Affair: Frank Sinatra
The Spy who Mugged Me: Sean Connery

13. Murdock was the only team member with a permanent address.

14. Murdock looked great even in a wedding dress (Till Death Do Us Part) and a habit (The Only Church in Town).

15. Murdock spoke many languages:
French (Mexican Slayride)
Spanish/Mexicanish (The Only Church in Town, A Little Town with an Accent)
Russian (Labor Pains)
Chinese (the Maltese Cow)
German (Semi-Friendly Persuasion, Timber, Quarterback Sneak)
Swedishish (Curtain Call)
Japanese (Knights of the Road, Moving Targets)
Italian (Blood, Sweat and Cheers, the White Ballot, Fire) and
Vietnamese (the Sound of Thunder)

16. He was full of miscellaneous information.
Face to BA: you'd be surprised what Murdock knows (Cup �a Joe).
Rabbit Who ate Las Vegas - how to explain betting system �primary trigonometry or logarisms founded in remedial calculus�
One More Time - movie trivia
When You Comin� Back range Rider? 9 horse tricks, Chicawa Indians
Water, Water Everywhere - lines from movies
Maltese Cow - reads and speaks Chinese
Bend in the River - how to find the lost city of Del Rio
Where is the Monster when You Need Him? - how to do a death scene
Wheel of Fortune - how to fix broken fan belt
Lease with an Option to Die - Yo yo
Uncle Buckle Up - his show
Beneath the Surface - about pirates and parrots
Alive at Five - the latest on Tedesco
Family Reunion - AJ Bancroft�s convictions

17. Murdock could imitate Face and get the girl (Mind Games).

18. Murdock was the one Face could always rely on (Family Reunion).

19. Murdock was the team's stress reliever with his antics, disguises and fantasy trips. Hannibal clearly appreciated him for his difference.

20. Murdock looked equally good as a priest (Firing Line) and a nun (The Only Church in Town).

revised: November 8, 1997
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VCR WATCH: Times Eastern standard. Unfortunately the site I usually use to search for appearances has been down the past few days so the list is a bit abbreviated -- sorry!

GEORGE PEPPARD
11/25/97, 9:30 (A&E - GEN)
11/25/97, 15:30 (A&E - GEN)
Banacek (Now You See Me, Now You Don't) - Banacek puts his skills to use when a tricky banker pulls a vanishing act after stealing $1.75 million in securities.

THE A-TEAM
11/20/97, 17:00 (FX - GEN)
A-Team (Firing Line) - Murdock escapes from the veterans hospital to save Face, B.A. and Hannibal from execution.

11/21/97, 17:00 (FX - GEN)
A-Team (Quarterback Sneak) - The A-Team arranges an exhibition football game to free a famous biochemist in East Berlin. Guest star: Joe Namath.

11/22/97, 17:00 (FX - GEN)
A-Team (The Theory of Revolution) - The team hopes to rescue American intelligence agents who are imprisoned on an island.

11/24/97, 17:00 (FX - GEN)
A-Team (The Say Uncle Affair) - Stockwell is kidnapped after ordering the team to confiscate a Russian jet.

11/25/97, 17:00 (FX - GEN)
A-Team (Alive at Five) - A reporter attempts to save a future union boss who is a murder target.

11/26/97, 17:00 (FX - GEN)
A-Team (Family Reunion) - Stockwell wants the team to reunite a fugitive criminal and his daughter.

11/28/97, 17:00 (FX - GEN)
A-Team (Point of No Return) - The A-Team searches for Hannibal, who disappeared while tracking down stolen plutonium.
11/29/97, 17:00 (FX - GEN)
A-Team (The Crystal Skull) - Murdock is made a god on an island where the natives mine diamonds.
sockii ()
----
"...We're spamming the internet, we're leafletting the SF conventions..."
"You're running over network executives..."
"Who do you think we are--'Babylon 5' fans?"

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