bedroom the mammoth book of war diaries and letters jon e lewis, editor bathroom the diary of vaslav nijinsky vaslav nijinsky car/walk waltzing the cat pam houston
office girlfriend .|. 100% fun .|. blue sky on mars matthew sweet car kissing the gunner's daughter [book on tape] ruth rendell living room xtc apple venus volume 1
brand x the message came from out of the blue: Brand X welcomes you into its clutches.
1999 april 02
jelly beans
as good friday is the official beginning of the easter weekend, i am allowed to open my bag of jellybeans.
like many aspects of my life, it involves strange and nonsensical rituals. first the top of the bag must be cut off, then the contents poured into a glass container of some sort or another; this year i am using a cylindrical vase. the colorful candies must be oohed and aahed over for a few minutes before the analysis begins.
the black ones must go. down the garbage disposal if i am feeling particularly brutal, else straight into the garbage. i haven't even asked gene if he likes them because, simply put, they must go. then all the mutant beans must be culled out for immediate consumption. no other jellybeans can be eaten until all the impurities are removed. wow, i just realized i sound like milosevic; this probably isn't a good time to talk about purities and getting rid of undesirables, even if only in the context of easter candies.
when i get home from work tonight, i will be able to eat them as quickly or as slowly as i like. of course, there is ritual involved even here: i must eat one of each color everytime i dip my hand into the jar. if i am in the full throes of anal retentiveness, i dump out the entire lot and group them together in lots of six, one of each color. those left over are put aside to be later grouped into fives, fours, threes, twos and finally the singles. these are free beans and can be eaten whenever, even after easter if i get sick to my stomach from too much sugar. the groups of six, however, get dropped back into the jar and must be eaten no later than easter monday.
i just received an email from my mother, telling me the easter bunny had roped a fedex man into helping him with deliveries and i should expect my basket sometime today. i can already feel the sugar rush coming on. not to worry, that won't stop me from biting the ears off any chocolate rabbits that cross my path this weekend; i can be a brutal little beastie if i set my mind to it.
hippety, hoppity, easter's on its way, claire
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