1999 february 15

lowland gorilla

today is the four month anniversary of this journal.

it surprises me that i have stuck with it. traditionally, i have an attention span that rivals that of the lowland gorilla in its brevity. i know all about lowland gorillas because we have the discovery channel, the learning channel, and an addiction to nature videos. i know all about attention spans because my sister, brothers and i were all diagnosed as hyperactive; this was before the days of attention deficit disorder.

one of my favorite childhood stories:

i was four, jubilee two and my mother was pregnant with philip. she became convinced she was not only the most horrible mother ever to walk the world, but that she was losing her mind as well. "a mother should be able to keep control of her children once in a while!" she wailed, "none of the other mothers at the playground have stories like mine!" she began talking to a psychologist who assured her everything was fine, my sister and i were not the demon children from hell, and he would be more than happy to see the three of us together to not only prove it to her, but to also show her some coping mechanisms.

the next week, my mother arrived for her appointment with jubilee and i in tow. within ten minutes, dr psychologist was showing us the door, "mrs wenders, it is not you. it is them. i highly recommend you take them to their pediatrician and have them put on medication."

jubliee had taken off all her clothes the minute we walked in. i had opened all the drawers in his desk, pulled out handsful of papers and thrown some out a window. i climbed his bookcases [i was a great climber as a child, ending up on top of the refrigerator when i was but eighteen months old ] knocking off various magazines, medical dictionaries, and his goldfish. jubilee sang at the top of her lungs while marching around the psychologist's chair. my mother would ask us to stop, and we would for about thirty seconds, and then we would be up and at it again.

as we left his destroyed office, jubilee ran around the corner and straight into the decorative fountain.

i just realized close to half of this journal is me remembering and recounting stories from my childhood; i was much more interesting then.

i tried a strange new recipe for valentine's day yesterday.

"love apple pie" was created 25 years ago by the hj heinz co, and involves using ketchup when making an otherwise traditional apple pie. i was intrigued and while i couldn't imagine it would taste very good, the more i thought about it, the stronger the urge to make it became. my self restraint is about as short lived as my attention span so i ran to the grocery, bought some apples and went to town.

it was surprisingly good. if i make it again i might throw some sugar in with the ketchup and lemon juice as the pie was a little tart, but the flavor was great, no ketchup aftertaste, no visions of hamburgers dancing on my tongue. in fact, with a little whipped cream, it was delicious.

knowing that, when i tell you the love apple pie was one of the low points of the valentine's day gene and i spent together, you can guess what sort of happy afterglowing clouds i am floating on this morning.

thoroughly cupided, claire