1999 february 12

ik hou van je

i never liked the dutch language all that much. it is so guttural and full of strange j's in all manner of words that have no business with a j. and that gh sound, that throat clearing, hairball spitting gh. i know it's incorrect, but i absolutely must refer to the man as vincent van go; my throat is more important than my need to be artistically proper. i learned a few phrases, not many useful ones, but the only one that has stayed with me is the dutch for i love you.

ik hou van je. translated literally, i hold of you.

it's such a wonderful phrase. not i love you, not i hold you, but i hold of you. i have never found a phrase more descriptive of how being in love really feels to me. it is as though i am constantly carrying a piece of my loved one with me, as if i have a special little chamber in my heart that is filled with their spirit, their person. it is an active, nurturing phrase, not a passive, amorphous one.

on any given day i might say, "i love roasted asparagus," or "i love these overalls," but i am never going to say i hold of a vegetable or piece of clothing.

gene, my darling, my love, ik hou van je.

gene decided there should be a male influence in the candy heart game.

valentine's 99, poem #5

romancing the cynic
[a candy heart poem by gene]

dream girl

how nice

let's kiss

oh boy

love bug

get real

so fine

whatever

marry me

why not

just in case you were wondering, that is not a conversation we would have. we tend to the kissyface smoocheyfest sort of interaction, at least in private. in public we are occasionally cynical, but mostly we are just plain silly.

in love, claire