1999 february 09

cramped

surprisingly, i am in no pain at the moment.

all my menstruating life, i have suffered from painful periods. [anyone who thinks i shouldn't talk about this can bite me; if i am going to spend close to a quarter of my adult reproductive years doing something, i'm going to write about it once in a while] i get lower back aches, my breasts hurt and most terrible of all, i am afflicted with the killer cramps from hell. i'm talking about the kind of cramps that feel as though you have been stabbed in the gut with a dull knife and it is being twisted around and around, excruciatingly slowly. the kind of cramps that knock you to your knees, literally, not figuratively. the kind of cramps that send you running to the bathroom to vomit. i have dreaded that time of the month since i was twelve years old.

i have tried various birth control pills, they didn't help appreciably. i can sometimes dull the edge by taking enough ketoprofen, but enough is usually also enough to make me fear for my kidneys. heating pads barely help. smoking dope didn't really kill the ache, but it did make me care about it less. i had pretty much resigned myself to the pain when i stumbled across an article somewhere that recommended upping my calcium intake to relieve some menstrual symptoms.

two months ago i started taking three little calcium pills every night. i reckoned as long as i was popping those, i might as well do the whole supplement route so i also started taking a good multi vitamin, iron, echinacea, st john's wort and kava kava. my period last month was still painful, but considerably less so and i was able to keep things down to a very dull roar with just nine orudis a day. this month, with just six, i have had absolutely no pain at all, just a mild discomfort.

i am trying to keep the celebrating to a minimum, hoping maybe things will stay this way if i don't make too big a deal about it. don't want to jinx it, you know.

valentine's 99, poem #2

i will get real neat for you
i will get real true
i hope it's love so fine
my dear
i hope true love be mine

i don't think hallmark is in any danger of me taking over their greeting card empire just yet.

be mine, claire