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26/04/03

Woke up feeling like shit today.. think I've slept too much.. its now bout 2pm.. slept for almost 12 hours.. and I keep having dreams... so decided to drag my arse off the bed..

was just reading through what I typed yesterday... haha.. a bit extreme I think.. but at least that was what I felt at that moment.. impulse? nope.. just a feeling that keeps coming back.. after I keep telling myself.. "forget it gal,  maybe things aren't that bad eh?"

Many thanx to Chuan and Pui and other friends who encouraged me.. made me feel much better.. =)

yup.. you guys are right.. I just gotta take a small tiny step back..

Chuan is right.. Friends are a big part of our lives.. it will always be.. thats why THIS matter so much..

ah life in unfair.. you just gotta accept it.. no no not being philosophical.. just being practical... ~ =)

I will go into a heck care mode for a few days.. then come back to this mode for around 2 days.. then snap out of it.. really want to snap out of this mode for a really really really long time... make myself a happier gal~ =)

wahaha.. I will~ *believe in myself*

sometimes.. you just gotta let go..

If you see that you're going to lose this friend for good if you're still gonna bloody care so much.. and no matter how much you guide her subtly..  then its just time to let go of a friend whom you treasure so much.. and let her just become part of your life.. yup.. even if it means.. we're now only 'hi-bye' friends.. its sad.. ya.. but can't do anything bout it.. this kind of thing has to be mutual ya? even if it means you become superficial friends.. =I because in the end.. we all know very well what she chose.. eh? so extreme.. =I

hm.. rem this happening before.. to a friend.. that is now.. only.. a friend..

feel like crying..

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*help*

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I won't know how I'd feel towards this whole thingy tomorrow.. or in the future.. what I know is.. I'm going to stop causing misery to myself and to others.. =)

Gee... Nellie is a bit freaky today.. must be coz haven't ate anything.. hm..

FOOD!!!!!!!

Lihling!!!!! I miss you~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ when can you come Singapore ah?!?!?!?!

Talked to Paul yesterday! =) or rather this morning.. yeah! happy to hear his voice.. realise.. that.. his voice.. for now.. is enough.. =)

ok pple.. Nellie is a happy gal again~ =)

Nel - hunting for food..

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Ok I just spent the past 5 hours watching TV and getting a big arse... yup~ ate a lot ... again..

1 plate of noodles

1 plate of potato wedges and onion rings

1 piece of Oreo (extra cream)

2 pieces of Honey Baked Ham..

like its any news.. wahahha.. having quite a headache coz been straining my eyes too much..

yeah~ happy gal.. wah.. My asserts hurt.. symptoms of monthly period.. hm.. but am quite happy coz then I won't eat THAT much.. though I can't promise that I won't eat a lot still.. wahahaha..

realised that I'm going to be quite stuck at home doing nothing for the past... 22 days.. before I fly of to Taiwan.. hm.. one day would be spent at chalet.. ok make that 2... then one day at with JC frens.. ok.. that leaves me 19 days to rot~ geeee... thats bout 3 weeks~

 I can handle that~ =p

"Even when you really feel that you have no more to give, when a friend cries out to you, you will still find the strength to help"

copied this from Chuanhui's blog.. found it quite meaningful..

Nel - bugging off

MeSsAgE �@

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