Poetry7

On the cemetery crown

Off I go to meet myself
Looking for love, looking for wealth
Facing delays � I know not why
In different ways, I try and try
Its peaceful to be at the cemetery crown
Viewing the world, across, up and down
All life could be this calm, verdant and serene
If my faith in life would extend to the unseen
To not know myself only in roles or situations
Nor to buoy feelings on the passing sensations
But to act from reason, with active discernment
Living on purpose, not from the minds� constant comments
So many choices are offered us in life
To exist in love and joy � or from fear and strife
The Devil is just an illusion that we are victims in a material world
While God is a reality of forgiveness and acceptance, swirled

Copyright (C) CJC May 31, 1998

My own decision(s)

Death to father, in the mind
From the head into the heart
Begin the grieving of lost identity
That was mistaken from the start
Time will tell how deep the pain
That has been ingrained on a soul
Whose major wound is over-mothering
Onto this self, never once in control
Control never owned, but desired greatly
By a self among others, yet always alone
Away from responsibility and commitment
Uncomfortable with self, and soul, so I roam
A second mother, I did find
To rescue myself, from myself
To repeat again, childhood conditions
To rescue a life from a lower shelf
Begun as a temporal pain avoidance
It eventually led to more discordance
Birthing a son, and a new life of insights
A source of joy, yet a source of strife
Indifference invisible, choices unseen
I make my life into what it seems
A pain, a pleasure, a loss or gift given
However I see it, its my own decision!

Copyright (C) CJC April 24, 1997

Changes, over the years, reveals in us unparalleled beauty
As the strata of earthen rock reveals breathtaking views of canyons grand
Whose beauty is both of time and space with areas contoured and grooved,
As though parts of a self - developed or missing - from the whole.
When we can open to the processes of our lives
We too can see the magnificent being that we are.
When we can value our changes & our inconsistencies
Then we will merge with the Eternal Artist of our Universe

Copyright CJC Autumn, 2000

8-13-00 7-8 pm, Sunday on the Worthington Green

Oh but to be supported in this moving on of life           ()
Being swung gently into newly explored spaces          / I \
By a power that contains me, holding me firmly        / I   \
Yet knows when to release, so I can do it by myself.    \ /
Looking back, �Can I make it?� You say, �Yes.�          ()
So I step out to this new frontier, only to look at you;
Your firm nod, light smile and sparkling eyes re-assure me
Letting me know that the way is sure, and so I step out.
The movement is new and there is room for improvement
And you shout with praise, offering encouragement
I try again and am able to get closer to success
And your smile, nod and twinkling eyes grow stronger.
For you have made me more of what I could be
And I have taken you with me into immortality
But that is, or will be, another time when we�ll be together
As for now � its all a dream � an illusion I would make real.
Perhaps you are speaking to me through this work of art?
Perhaps you left so all art could speak to me - & that I would listen
And that in my interpretations, I could be led, and so to lead
As my life could nourish others, giving them reason to believe.
-------------------------For she really needs to hold her spirit
Before she can truly set it free
It�s the untamed innocence inside of her
That she could feel but was never to be
And as the gift was kept from her
A deeper love began to flicker out
From this small fire, she nourished me -
I've cursed the day someone put it out

Copyright (C) CJC   August 2000