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| Seeking Mr. Right Destined to dream of nights around you Looking for love � are you looking, too? What have you found in a material world? Have your best men loved, all been soiled? Lost in a self that seeks others for worth Seeing you as an asset � a jewel in the earth Then once they have you, they treat you unkind Projecting on you, their mother, from their mind Emotionally immature, as partners, their shoddy Then you know they wanted only your body And your mind, like your soul, remains all alone In anger, or in tears, you ache to the bone But then back to work � time to put on the mask The job brings some comfort, accomplishing the tasks Passing friends and acquaintances, you survived another day Always wondering if �Mr. Right� will ever come your way The elusive �Mr. Right� is waiting inside of you And once found there, in others you�ll see it, too The reflections of you � of a love that is whole Holding this true love, you can give of your overflow Then the smiles that you give you will feel to the bone You�ll always have good company � even when you�re alone Oh, the tears will still come, but you will be discovering That with Mr. Right inside, you�ll have pain but less suffering ( - I wait for him, too � wanting a dad to make up for lost love, but not lost, never had if it was at birth, I was not conscious of it as he died, I learned to stand on my haunches Mr. Right � and the Mrs. � I must find in me And once found there, in others I may see Reflections of me, of a love that is whole A vessel of love, I now give of my overflow) Copyright (C) CJC All Rights Reserved. |
| Reason for Leaving I kept my mom alive, I think, by remaining dependent and weak. Sucking energy from my son, do I, the pattern repeat? To let them go is to love them more than loving as I now do To both of them, in the short run, this change may be misconstrued I could not go on in my present state � not in good cheer could I relate To all I meet, both within self and on the street, do I, the coward, remain Living from the past, reclining on my ass, in addictions I do steep While life goes on, I hear death�s song, and with dying dreams, I weep Father & son - lover & beloved - both fill my dreams and tug at my heart I am to be both, though not perfect at either; I have quit, but I can re-start Present moment awareness can always awaken the sleeping child still alive Buried beneath misperceptions & life�s illusory deceptions, an integrated man strives Always acquiescing and second guessing, whilst holding to God and soulful fancies I�m at a crossroads, to enter the LochNess, & with faeries and spirits, do magical dances So keeping in rhyme that I forget the time � of waking as a child beneath a tall tree Feeling safe in the world, that all naturally unfurled, knowing God always nurtured me Copyright (C) CJC August 25, 1998 |
| Getting to True Self Another wound arises, so I build another wall To insulate myself from the world, to protect from another fall This lesser self I act from can never be entirely secure Just building walls to fence me in � is its only cure So my only hope is to rise beyond this lesser self To live in another realm � to secure a greater wealth To still live in the world, and endured being tossed to and fro Considering the alternative, it�s the only way to go! I do so desire that perfection � whether in God-connection or in daily life Not merely to weather storms, but to be in a placid place, free of all strife But I guess that place is death � where as a soul, I�d merely look around I�d be free of feeling any pain and my feet wouldn�t even touch the ground This God connection I seek lies outside of ego�s plans The path to God comes from being between thoughts� scans Where what arises is intelligence from another Being-Source Which, when followed, can allow me to reset my True Self course Copyright (C) CJC August 10, 2000 |
| Skipping on the stream of loss My heart skips over lonely nights As a stone passing over a placid stream Each slight, skimming over the water As a touch of separation that is too real A further toss with a tighter torque spin Reduces the hits I take in my lonely nights By a full schedule, and a fuller stomach I reduced feeling the pain these last five years Will I one day drop, voluntarily, into the well To turn down into my years of loss of youth Could I but feel it once, deeply, & then be done? Only now awakening at 41 � delayed maturity Copyright (C) CJC February 29, 2000 |
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| Cleansing Perception How do I not see the beauty in the storm? Whether it be cold, whether it be warm Gray is a color, too, leading from white to black Filled with awesome wonder we do not suspect How do I forget the moistness of the rain? A precious liquid to plants and myself just the same How do I overlook the majesty of the winds? Turning leafy trees into shapely, waving friends. How do I not see the beauty in a scarred face? Whether delighting in their children, or creating artistic grace How do I not see the lightness of people overweight? Whose smiles are so broad, in whose laughter I elate Copyright (C) CJC May 22, 1999 |
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