CHAPTER 27: DECEMBER DAYS

I took a new picture with my webcam of me looking up at the camera and wearing a Santa hat. I thought it would look cute on my profile for the holidays. Of course, it wasn’t long before my risqué twin sister Cindybin2006 doctored it up to make it look like I was holding a big dildo up to the camera. I couldn’t help but laugh—it was just so fake looking. “She” also made a few posts telling everyone about her “nice Christmas present,” and how Santa was good to her this year.

I made a batch of Christmas cookies for the boys, took a picture of some on a plate and posted it on my homepage. From time to time I’d make posts on the boards offering people my homemade cookies and including the link to the photo. People told me they were very good!

I also made a doll dress to send as a Christmas present to my email buddy Anita, a woman near my age who I had corresponded with for over a year. She had contacted me when she stumbled across my homepage and realized we had a lot in common—lowcarb, doll collecting, cake decorating, and grown sons. Before I mailed the dress to Anita, I showed Sammy a picture of it being modeled by one of my dolls. “Isn’t it CUTE?” I said. “Yes,” Sammy replied politely, both of us knowing that he didn’t care about dolls, hehe. And I also mailed off Jeannette’s presents. It was fun to buy girly things, since I raised only boys.

Pixie and I were still emailing and sticking up for each other. I yelled at Jehovah for making fun of her autistic son (he later apologized) and talked to Cluckie on Messenger about how he should be nicer to her. The beginning of December I told her about the marijuana debate with Dana. I also mentioned something about some recent conversations she and I had had with fairiewhings on the boards, before fairie had put me on ignore. Pixie seemed to be quite friendly with fairie saying that she is a nice person and how she tries to “overlook” the fact that she smokes pot. I reiterated my views on marijuana again just to make SURE we were on the same page:

“…And actually our issue on the pot board yesterday kinda ties in with what you and I were talking about the other day regarding Faeriewhings. Dana was telling me that she knows many pot-smokers with good jobs and families, who are just wonderful people, as if that makes it all right! But that makes it WORSE! I just can’t believe they don’t understand this. I mean, I realize that pot-smoking is nothing compared to hard drugs. But that’s not the point; we aren’t discussing hard drugs. And I would have sympathy for a hard-drug user, because they obviously have a problem and need help. But casual pot-smokers have no excuse. They are negating everything that most parents try to teach their kids about drugs and life. They should be ashamed of themselves! So it just drives me nuts when people act like its okay for a person to smoke pot if they are intelligent with a good job and good family and a nice person. No, that DOESN’T make it right, it makes it worse! All my friends understand this concept perfectly, and I can’t understand why most Yahoo posters don’t see it. They think I am being judgmental and rude and mean, and I’m not! I try to build people up, and help them realize they are too GOOD to be doing something like lighting up a joint on a Friday night and getting “stoned”. You won’t see me starting posts like, “POTHEADS ARE LOSERS!” or something like that. I point out how good they are, and that if they have such good jobs and are such wonderful parents, etc. that they of ALL people should know better than to do this! That’s why every time I see somebody like Faerie make a nice, intelligent, thoughtful post and show what a good person she is, it makes me even madder to think that here she is so good, and yet she STILL lights up a joint and gets ‘high’ as if it’s nothing! That is just TERRIBLE! Do you see my point? Anyway, Dana got really fed up with me about this, even though she has never smoked pot, and is raising a little daughter. I would think she’d agree with me, and not put me down.”

Pixie later told me that she agreed with me 100 percent about pot, adding that she was sorry if sometimes it seemed like she wasn’t being supportive enough. She said she just goes about things differently than I do, which I understood. I didn’t expect her to go into “mother mode”. I just wanted to make sure she didn’t put me down like so many others.

I went to bed December 8 and was awakened in the middle of the night to find out my dad had passed away. It wasn’t entirely unexpected—he had been in poor health and was hooked up to a portable oxygen tank, suffering from emphysema due to years of smoking. But I had fully expected to see him at Christmas, so it was still a shock. The first person I told the next morning was Sammy. Besides Jeannette and Anita, a few days later I also emailed Pete (asking him to pass it along to the old email group), Pixie, and left an IM for Cluckie. I appreciated all the condolences I received.

I took a break from the boards, of course, and was very busy planning the visitation, going through my dad’s house, comforting my mother in the nursing home suffering with Alzheimer’s, and just generally dealing with all the loose ends that need to be taken care of when there is a death in the family.

When I came back, Vodka Good (now Bohunk Polack) and I exchanged pictures of our kids near Christmas. On the Oddly Enough boards, I tried to nicely talk to two young mothers, lorip and oliv_the_other_reindeer, both of whom used LMFAO. Oliv had been talking about her daughter’s Christmas presents and how she was stepping over all the little Barbie shoes and accessories. I didn’t think she used the f-word in front of her daughter, but I said that I was surprised she used this acronym at all, being a mother. I got nowhere and both oliv and lori were offended. Figures.

Later that month I also offered more cookies, a troll made fun of me for the bj thing, I told him that “Yes, I’m just such a failure I should crawl into a hole and die.” Dana actually stuck up for me a bit, saying that this was not the time to get all upset. And Jehovah made jokes about my dead father. As I said, nothing was off limits to him.

And so ended the year 2005. Would 2006 get any better on the Yahoo boards?


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