Gas Pictures / Gas jokes

Q What's the difference between rovers and the Titanic?
A The Titanic only went down once.

Q What is the difference between a man with no tongue and a rovers fan?
A The man with no tongue has better taste.

Q How do you confuse a rovers fan?
A Ask them the way to Wembley.

Q How can you tell when rovers have lost?
A It's ten to five.

Q What does Ray Graydon say when rovers score?
A Great, now try it at the other end.

Q What do you get if you see a Rovers fan buried up to his neck in sand?
A More sand

Q What do rovers and a bowl of fruit have in common?
A You always find them in the middle of the table.

Q What does a leprechaun; a loch ness monster, a bigfoot, and an intelligent Rovers fan have in common?
A None of them really exist!

Q Did you hear about the rovers season ticket pinned to the wall?
A Somebody nicked the pin!

Q What do rovers fans use as contraceptives?
A Their personalities.

Q How many rovers fans does it take to paint a wall?
A It depends how hard you throw them.

Q How many Rovers fans does it take to change a light bulb?
A Yeah, like they have electricity in Whorefield.

The gas have got a new Web Site.
Their trophy cabinet.

A City fan and a gashead were watching the news on TV. There was a film story about a girl on the ledge of a building threatening to commit suicide. The police were trying to talk her down when the City fan says to the gashead 'I'll bet you five pounds that she jumps.'
The gashead took the bet. Seconds later, the girl jumps. The gashead takes £5 from his pocket and hands it to the City fan.
The City fan says, 'I can't take your money. I saw the same film clip on the 6:00 news today and knew she was going to jump.'
The gashead says, 'I watched it too; but I didn't think she'd do it again.'

Two Rovers fans were playing with a new football outside their house.
"Hey" shouted their mother, where did you get that ball?"
"We found it" one of them said.
Are you sure it was lost?" asked the mum "Yes" replied the other boy, "We saw people looking for it."

The FA had to step in to prevent Rovers latest sponsorship deal. They signed a mega new contract with the pet-food firm Spillers. An FA spokesman said that it would be fraud to have Rovers players with "Winnalot" on their shirts!!

Dungford was wheeling his shopping trolley across the supermarket car park when he noticed an old lady struggling with her bags of shopping.
He stopped and asked, "Can you manage dear?"
to which the old lady replied, "no way you got yourself into this mess, don't ask me to sort it out!"

A man goes into a pub with an alligator under his arm.
"Do you serve Rovers fans here?" he asks.
"Certainly Sir, no problem at all," replies the barman, nervously staring at the alligator.
"Okay," says the man, "a pint of lager for me and a Rovers fan for the alligator."

The Rovers were robbed last night. Everything from the Trophy room was stolen. The police are looking for a man with a rolled up carpet.

Three brothers were opening their Christmas presents and were eagerly anticipating their last parcel each. The youngest brother opens his and he is well pleased as he finds it's a Batman costume.
The middle brother opens his and is dead chuffed as he gets a Spiderman mask and accessories.
The oldest brother finally opens his and finds the deeds and ownership details for Bristol Rovers Football Club.
"Great he cries - I always wanted a Mickey Mouse outfit!

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