there was a time when I thought that coming out to the gay community meant that I was to be the belle of the lesbian ball. that lesbians would suddently see me and find me alluring, and someone with whom they would share their deepest desires and inner emotions. I thought that when I got up the nerve to go to that gay bar or gay meeting, I would be someone new, someone fresh, someone honest. Unfortunately, at 16, those things don't come all that easily.

I remember one of my dearest friends from high school asking me if I would be interested in going to a gay meeting that he attended Tuesday night at the GLBT center in West Palm Beach. Dear God, what could I say to my family? My father, a highly educated widower and my oh-so perfect brother would never approve me going to such a thing. Still, I snuck out of the hosue and went with my drag-queen friend.

Walking in the room, I was something like a deer in headlights. there were these punked out, free thinking women.. or womyn.. and they ewre discussing heterosexual privelidge. If hetero's have the right to kiss and make out in public, why can't we?

Oh god... get me out of here. Maybe I need to be straight.

So, I took on Ellen and Rosie and even got a job working for Ro's show. Dammit, I'm gay. Dammit I'm gay. I love Cher, I love Madonna...I should become one of them. And I did.