| 8-28-02 Finally I get time to write in this journal. I haven't even had five extra minutes since the last time I wrote. So much has happened, and I don't even remember it all. Well I have pushed everyone out of my life. The only time I even see my friends is at Friday night Watch and Sunday morning service. Other than that, all my free time I spend alone. Even after this, I don't feel like I'm having enough time to spend by myself. Man I'm weird. The Lord's preparing me for something but I don't know what it is. He's changing me. my circumstances, and my surroundings- leaving me in total confusion. He has taken my impatience away- thank the Lord. Finally I can go through a day not caring how long someone takes doing something- knowing I'll be able to proceed after them. I didn't realize it till the other day. I was at the gas station, and I went inside to pay. There was this lady who was buying 30 bottles of Pepsi and 15 bottles of something else, and the computer was messing up. The only person who could help me out was the lady that was helping her, so I just waited listening. When I finally got to pay the woman payed me a compliment saying something about my patience. At Sunday night group, my pastor came up to me and told me that if someone has been having a hard time with quiet times, that he wants me to pray for them because I've been blessed tremendously in that area. I have been blessed in that area- I love having quiet times and don't like when they come to an end, but I have problems with them just like anyone else. This meant a lot to me because I know the Lord was encouraging me through what my pastor said. He has just had people say things to me that have been encouraging and a blessing. At school the other day, someone just started talking about me and how I didn't date. At least five people said something encouraging to me about it. The Lord does treat his children with pure love, always looking out for them. The first day of school I went to my first hour class- government. We talked about religion the whole hour and everyone including my teacher was dissing Christianity. This just added to the misery I knew school brought. The Lord used this for his glory though, making me see that he's watching out for me, protecting me, blessing me. The rest of the day, I had my closest friend at school- Luke- in all of my classes. This just blessed me because he's one of the only Christians I have at my school (we have a very limited amount at my school). Even when I'm at my lowest point- the Lord blesses me, makes my life enjoyable, encourages me. I can never thank him for that. |