Things between the other Boys and I seemed to have settled a bit as well. After my outburst I was worried they would treat me differently or something. They did for a minute, most of it came from Nick and Brian. Brian in particular, because he decided I needed more help. My last encounter with Dr. Brian went something like this:
He caught me in the hall of the venue and stopped me with,
"Hi Lexie B." Joshua told me that by calling me by a nickname it was his way of getting me in a comfortable mood.
"Hi Bri," I said giggling at my little rhythm. "Lexie B.? That's a new one, I think I like it." I started to walk away.
"Hey wait, I wanted to talk to you," he said stopping me.
"Ok, what's up?" I said turning toward him.
"Well you know..... I actually wanted to give you something. Just in case you ever feel down and need something good to keep with you.... ya know."
He's going to give me a �Chicken Soup for Girls Who's Mothers Committed Suicide� book I just know it, I thought.
"Look, Brian....... I know you mean well and I think it's incredibly sweet... the lengths that you've been going to to make me feel at home and all I just think I should tell you this before you do something else. I'm fine, really I'm fine. It was a long time ago and I have basically moved on since then. I'm not clinically depressed and I'm definitely not suicidal myself. I've got this great job with a bunch great co-workers and my bosses aren't that bad either. I'm alright..... alright?" I said. He gave me that impish smile of his
"Ok I got your point. I still want to give this to you though," he said flashing that smile again and handing me a bag.
"Open it," he said. I took it from him and looked at it.
"Ok...... but before I open this..... it's not going to be a self help book is it? I'm not going to open it and find a Dr. Phil book am I?" I asked. He had been giving me things he thought I should read or little things to remember for the past couple of days. I was beginning to wonder if he had bought some stock in those 'mini' inspiration books you see at the checkout counter in bookstores. To this day I haven't figured out how he found the time or the opportunity to go out and buy them. I've decided he was getting them from his own personal collection. No doubt he had a lot of them.
"No, it's not a self help book," he said. I looked at him warily before opening the bag. It was a book but he wasn't lying about it not being a self help book. I pulled the book out of the bag and read the title aloud,
"You're Not Alone, Charlie Brown." It was a worn copy of the book. It had obviously been read over and over, cover to cover.
"Thought I couldn't go wrong with the Peanuts," he replied.
"Thanks Brian, this was really nice of you." I said.
"You can keep it if you want." I just smiled at him. After that I think he got the point that I was fine and had been that way for the past eight years. None of the other guys bothered me either. I figured Brian passed the word along. Everything went back to business as usual.
This time I received a phone call from Joshua. It was 1am and we were on the bus, on a highway, heading somewhere. Everyone had gotten to the point in the tour where stuff started to run together especially for me, this being my first tour. A little phone ringing to the tune of the 'Mexican Hat Dance' when you're sounds asleep is not something you want to wake up to. I fumbled for the phone which had managed to get lost somewhere in my bunk. Finally, I found it and being in the sleep haze I was still in it took me a couple of tries to operate the thing. Once I had successfully stopped the annoying ring tone, that I vowed to change the first chance I got, I answered with,
"What?"
"Hi, girl where are you?" Joshua said in his usual cheerful tone.
"Who is this?"
"Only your best friend."
"Joshua? What the hell are you doing calling me this late?"
"Late? Alexis it's only like 1:30 in the morning."
"Only 1:30," I muttered. Then, "I forgot you're on the 'city that never sleeps' time. What do you want?"
"I'm going to ignore the tone of your voice and tell you my news anyway."
"News about what?" I asked sitting up in my bunk. I sat up a little too quickly forgetting I was in a bunk on a bus and that there was a low ceiling. I hit my head with a loud THUD! and let out a low explicit curse.
"Oh my virgin ears!" I heard Joshua gasp. Causing me to smile slightly as I rubbed my sore forehead.
"There hasn't been anything virgin about you in a very long time," I replied.
"Hhhmm well it sounds like you're waking up. Anyway, I broke up with Adrian," he said.
"Adrian?" I had to wrack my brain for that one. I was greeted by silence from his end. "Oohhh that Adrian..... why am I not surprised. When did this happen?"
"Tonight. We went out to dinner and I broke up with him."
"Just like that? The fish is nice.... Adrian I don't think we should see each other anymore."
"No, it was a little more complicated than that."
"No doubt you're going to tell me what happened."
"I can't disappoint my audience, of course I'm going to tell you."
"Right now?" I asked with a slight whine in my voice.
"Do you have something better to do?" Joshua asked.
"Sleep," I replied without hesitation.
"You can do that later. So anyway, this all started about a week ago when I saw Derek at the gym...." he said starting his story. I should have known Derek was involved somehow, I thought.
Basically, Derek told Joshua that he�d seen Adrian come into the gym a number of times with some guy and that they looked really close. . . to him anyway. Of course I had to ask,
�Uuuhh. . . . how do you know Derek wasn�t just being a little catty? Or jealous? Or overprotective? Or whatever you want to call it. How do you know he wasn�t just saying this to get you back?�
�For one, I think you and I both know that that is soooo not Derek�s style. Overprotective at times, maybe. Jealous? Never. Anyway we both decided to take a step back and go our separate ways for a little while,� he said. He was right of course. Derek wasn�t the type to get particularly jealous of Joshua or anyone else for that matter. I thought I had to ask though.
�Ok well how does Derek know what Adrian looks like anyway?�
�I went with Adrian to the gym once and Derek was there.�
�Wait a minute you went to the gym? But you loathe gyms and everything they stand for. You told me that the gym was only for one thing, scoping out hot hard bodies and you can do that at the club. �At least there you get to see how well they dance too,� you said.�
�Yes I went to the gym at Adrian�s urging. I didn�t work out though. I was his cheering section.�
Joshua was never too keen on physical fitness. Not that he needed to be. He never gained an ounce. As far as I could tell he�s always weighed the same and managed the same physique without ever laying a foot or hand on a treadmill. From high school to present. That bitch, I thought. But I digress.
�So you just introduced them to one another?� I asked.
�Well I couldn�t be rude. Anywayz, don�t interrupt,� he said.
Of course you couldn�t be rude. Parrish the thought, I thought.
So in a nutshell, Joshua confronted Adrian about it. Adrian, of course, denied everything vehemently. Joshua explained to Adrian that he didn�t mind a casual relationship but he could not stand being lied to. If a casual relationship is what he wanted, Joshua just asked that he be upfront about it. Adrian said he didn�t want a casual relationship.
Fast forward two weeks later, Adrian and Joshua�s relationship is going pretty well. It�s going great until, Joshua spots Adrian coming out of a movie theater holding hands with some guy. Instead of running up to them and demanding to know what�s going on, Joshua decides to wait till later that night when Adrian was supposed to take him out to dinner.
�So we had eaten dinner and the food was great, by the way, we�re going to have to go there when you get back in the city,� he said.
�Joshua get to the point please. I need sleep, I�m fading,� I replied.
�Ok, ok anyway, I was waiting on my dessert and I asked him how his day was and what did he do. He said that he basically hung out at his apartment cleaning and straightening up. He was probably waiting on his boy toy to arrive and wanted everything to look nice. He also said he ran a few errands. I bet he did. He probably went to get something cute to wear for his lover. Or to get the supplies for an afternoon of sex. Then he goes, �Oh I saw a movie, too,� By then my dessert arrived so I couldn�t really grill him the way I wanted to. . . until I finished eating. I did share some of it with him, it was the least I could do.�
Joshua eats like a starving lumberjack that just came in from cutting down half of Yellowstone. This is not to say that he�s an impolite pig at the dinner table, just that he knows how to clean a plate. Where he puts it all is beyond me. So him sharing his dessert with someone he�s about to dump is definitely saying something. This is the same man that tackled me for a Dove bar course he was ten and I was eight at the time but that�s beside the point.
�After I finished my dessert I asked, �So. . . you said you saw a movie. . . what movie was it?� I swear Lexie you should have seen the look that crossed his face. He looked like a deer caught in headlights for that brief moment before he caught himself. Then he answered, �I don�t remember.� I could tell he was bullshittin� and I think he could see the look on my face. So he tried to cover up by saying it was some indie flick starring Christina Ricci and that he didn�t like it all that much. He must have thought I was a complete idiot or something. Yeah I bet he didn�t remember the name of that movie probably because they were making out or fucking or something. . . I don�t know.�
�Fucking in the movie theater? In those bucket seats? That sounds uncomfortable. . .especially for you guys,� I said.
�Anyway, I told him it was over got up and left him with the check,� he said.
�Oooooo that�ll teach him. Did he say anything?�
�No, what could he say? He was caught. I told him that I�d seen him leaving the theater with the guy. I pretty much described the whole scene to him. I think I heard his heart come to a stop. Then after a long silence I said, �Well this was fun but I�m sorry I�m going to have to call it quits. It�s over Adrian, don�t ever call me again. And I got up and left.�
�Wow! That�s all I can say is, wow. When you make an exit, you really make an exit�
�I think. . . I�m through with the dating game.� He says this every time he breaks up with someone. Then he goes back to Derek. They stay together for a while until one or both of them gets the itch.
�Yeah I�m sure you are. I know I�ve heard that one before,� I said.
�Whatever. . . ok I�m over it. So what�s up with you? You and Nick get physical, yet?�
�I know you mean violently but you�re trying to allude to intimately. To answer your question, No we have not but we almost did,� I said.
�Uh oh do tell, do tell.�
I knew this conversation would come sooner or later. I was just hoping for later rather than sooner. I took a breath before launching into my story. Just as I suspected Joshua did nothing but listen. He never interrupted which only served to agitate me a bit. I started by telling him about Nick�s girlfriend visiting and ending with my night out at Dream.
�Sounds like you had an eventful couple of days, too,� he said.
�Is that all you have to say? I would have expected more from you.�
�Like what? I already told you that you are going to marry him and have like ten thousand of his babies. I�m just glad to see that you�re actually putting some effort toward that goal. I will say this, you yelling out that confession about your mom and then storming off was so melodramatic. Who are you? Erica Kane?�
�Well excuse me I couldn�t help it. . . he just gets me so angry. He�s been a total angel ever since though. Everyone�s been treating me with kid gloves since my outburst and it�s kind of annoying. I bet they think I�m crazy or something and they don�t want me to have another �episode�.�
�No one thinks you�re crazy,� Joshua said.
�Brian was the main one though, until I set him straight. Nick is just being unbelievably polite and while that is refreshing. . . it�s getting on my nerves. I think he thinks I�m still angry with him. I�m not angry with him anymore. . . not really. I�m not going to be petty besides, he didn�t know about my mom and he did apologize.�
�And he showed you the time of your life at Dream that night,� Joshua said.
�Whatever Josh. We had fun. . . we all had fun. I had just as much fun with Nick that I had with Kevin or Howie,� I said.
�Yeah ok, look I know it�s late there so I�m going to let you go. Let you get some more sleep.�
�Really? I�m shocked. No pearls of wisdom from the Great Joshua? What�s going on?�
�Nothing.�
�Bull! Who do you have coming over for a booty call?�
He didn�t say anything for a little while then he let out a great sigh.
�If you must know I have Derek on call waiting.�
�Oooohhhh I see. What a minute you called me and the whole time we�ve been on the phone you�ve never clicked over or anything.�
�I�ve got Caller ID.�
�Hhhmmm really? That�s new. Expecting some stalking from Adrian?�
�No.�
�Well you work fast! You know you and Derek need to stop playing these
games.�
�Of all people you are definitely the last person to be talking to me about playing games.�
�What�s that supposed to mean?�
�Oh you know what it means.�
�No I-�
�Anyway talk to you later, Lexis. Goodnight,� and he hung up.
�Bastard,� I muttered to the dial tone.
