�Did you just call me a bitch?�
�No that�s not what I said! You�re twisting my words around.�
�Oh! So now I�m lying?�
I started this argument and I freely admit it. I did it because Nick was being highly annoying in his overt politeness. No matter what I said he was in agreement. No matter what I did he thought it was a good idea. He was opening doors for me and making a point of not moving around too much in the makeup chair. He was also making a point of letting me do his hair and makeup. He was acting like an android around me and frankly I was tired of it. I couldn�t take it anymore something had to be done.
�You know most people would love for me to be this nice to them,� he said.
�I�m not most people,� I replied.
�You,� he said pointing at me. �I�m nice to you and all you do is try to make me angry. I don�t get it!�
I tried to hold the bubble of laughter that was about to erupt back with all my might. I just couldn�t hold it much longer, especially, when he said, �I don�t get it!� It started out as a small giggle which caused Nick to regard me strangely. Before I knew it I was laughing almost hysterically. Nick swiveled his chair around to face me.
�Oh so now you�re laughing at me?� he asked incredulous.
�Yes, I�m laughing at you. You are so gullible,� I said.
�What? What are you talking about?� he asked.
�I�m not really mad at you. . . annoyed maybe. . . but not mad.�
�Well I�m mad at you! Wait. . . I don�t get it. Stop laughing like that. Why aren�t you mad at me?�
�I just started this whole argument to get a reaction out of you,� I said. Nick looked totally at sea so, I continued, �I was sick and tired of you treating me like a sick child. The change in your attitude toward me was an improvement but it got old quick. Real quick.�
�You�re a nutcase,� he said slowly after a pause. He seemed a bit amused though.
�So this whole fight was pretty much pointless?� I shook my head, �Yes.�
�So uuuhh. . . . what are you some kind of masochist?� he asked.
�Masochist? Where did you learn that word?� I asked.
�AJ,� he said without a second thought. We both had to laugh at that.
�Oh wow did I just share a laugh with Mr. Nick Carter? At the expense of a joke that he cracked? Wow! Will wonders never cease?�
�Very funny. I can be funny when I want to.�
�Oh I�m sure you can be. Just like you can be mean, funny looking and big headed.�
�Ok, ok, how about a truce. . . for real this time. We can even start over. . . if you want to.�
�Ok. . . I�m game,� I said looking at him sideways.
�Hi, I�m Nick Carter,� he said holding out his hand.
�Ohmygosh!!! You�re the Nick Carter!!! From the Backstreet Boys!! I can�t believe it!!!� I practically screamed. I couldn�t help it. I was kind of scared one of the bodyguards would come rushing in looking for rogue fans. Nick gave me an annoyed look. �Ok, ok. . . sorry. Let�s try again.�
He rolled his eyes and sighed. Then looking at me with that million dollar smile stuck out his hand and said,
�Hi, I�m Nick Carter .�
�Hey, I�m Alexis Blair and I�ll be your stylist.� We shook hands. It was cute and now that I think about it kind of corny. I could just hear Humphrey Bogart in my head saying �This could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship.� I guess that�s what happens to you after spending most of your life with Brian and Howie.
So Nick and I had finally called a truce between camps. There was a treaty drawn up and everything. Well it wasn�t that complicated but we didn�t become friends right away. One day Cookie asked me,
�So are you two friends now?� I had to actually think about it. I mean we were friends kinda sorta, in a way, almost, a little bit. I mean, if I quit that day I�d probably never see Nick again but I guarantee I�d still at least talk to Cookie. So in a way we were friends, at work though. Outside of work we�d be considered associates or actually virtual strangers, I guess. I told her,
�Something like that. I wouldn�t call us �bosom buddies� just yet, though.�
First we became civil towards each other, then polite, then a kind of friendship eventually developed. I don�t know where it started precisely. I guess the best place to pinpoint it�s initial beginning would be one day when Nick decided to ask me for some advice in a round about way. He had climbed onto my bus that I shared with Cookie, Zeke and a few dancers looking for AJ who hung out there sometimes. He only found me though.
�Have you seen AJ?� he asked.
�Uuuhh no. No one here except me,� I replied.
�Oh. Well if you see him tell him I�m looking for him. I need his help,� he said.
�Help with what? Maybe I can help,� I said standing up straight. I was cleaning up my bunk.
�It�s a relationship problem,� he said quietly.
�Oh well you came to the right place. There is no better person to talk to about that kind of thing than your stylist. I mean, I�ve been in relationships I think I know my way around one,� I said. Nick looked unsure. �I promise whatever you say here will go no further than these bus walls and we�re the only ones on the bus right now.�
Nick looked around and then blurted out,
�I think I�ll just be single for a while. Or maybe not. . . I don�t know.�
�I bet your fans would love to hear that,� I said. He gave me a grunt.
�It�s just my fucking girlfriend,� he said.
�I thought she was your fucking ex-girlfriend.�
�I guess. . . but I don�t know. I think I still have feelings for her.�
�What kind of feelings? Feelings from here?� I asked pointing to his heart. Then, �Or feelings from down there,� I said indicating elsewhere. Nick just stared at me.
�I. . . I don�t. . . know,� is all he said. Nick started wandering around the bus peaking into bunks, generally being nosy as I followed him.
�Look Nick, I can�t tell you what to do but I will give you some advice since it seems like that�s what you�re looking for,� I started.
�Is this your bunk?� he asked suddenly.
�Yeah. Uuhh anyway� if you really are feeling something for this girl than go ahead and get her back. Although, if the feeling you�re having for her now are just coming from down there you might want to put your brakes on and think about what you�re doing.�
�Oooohhh�. man, what is this?� he asked suddenly pulling something from my bunk.
�Nick did you hear a word I just said to you? Why are you nosing around my bunk,� I asked.
�You�re a fan!� he said coming out of my bunk and standing over me. He showed me what he found. It was what I like to call �The Collection�. Encased in a Backstreet Boys CD wallet was every Backstreet Boys CD that I owned. From singles, to albums, to imports it was all in there. I even had the Burger King CDs in there and Nick was holding it and looking at me like he was about to fall on the floor laughing.
�I. . . . I. . . . I. . . . I don�t know where that came from. That�s not mine,� I said lying horribly. Nick unzipped the wallet and flipped through it a bit. He turned to the back cover where my name was written across a label, in my handwriting and stuck to it.
�Not yours huh?� He asked waving it in my face. I was caught.
�Ok it�s mine. Yeah I�m a fan,� I said.
�There�s no shame in that,� Nick said.
�Course you would say that,� I replied.
�Hell yeah! We rock! Why�d you lie about being a fan?� he said. I had to give him a look for the �We rock!� comment but otherwise held my tongue.
�I just thought it would be odd for you guys to know that someone that works for you is a huge fan,� I sighed.
�Oh so now you�re a huge fan? No you know what would be odd? If you were a huge Nsync fan,� he said. I gave him a �stop bullshitting� look. �Ok I was just kidding about that last bit. So who�s your favorite?�
�If you must know it�s Kevin,� I replied.
�Figures, you look like his type. I know if he weren�t married he�d try to talk to you, fo sho.� If only�, I thought.
�Fo sho?� I had to say something. �For someone in a relationship crisis you sure are in a joking mood.�
�Do you have an order?� he suddenly asked.
�An order? I don�t know what you�re talking about,� I said. In reality I knew exactly what he was talking about. Nick was referring to the order that almost every Backstreet fan held each of them in her or his heart. Of course I had an order.
�Yeah you do. I can see you�re trying to hide that big shit eating grin. Come on and tell me. I know Kevin must be first.�
I really wanted to hit him and hard too. He was having too much fun. Instead I told him what he wanted to know in hopes that he�d leave me alone.
�What was your order before you met us?� he asked grinning from ear to ear.
�Well. . . it was Kevin, AJ, you, Howie and then Brian,� I said.
�And after?�
�Kevin, AJ, Howie, Brian, Orlando Bloom, Keith Hamilton Cobb, Colin Farrell, Vin Diesel, Leonardo Di Caprio, Shemar Moore,� I said.
�Ok I get it,� Nick replied smile fading slightly..
�Will Smith, Denzel Washington, this HOT guy I saw on the train once, my ex boyfriend Mike, Joshua, Seth Green,� I continued.
�Ok point taken,� he said trying to get me to stop but I was determined to keep going.
�Sean Hayes.�
�Isn�t that guy gay?�
�Verne Troyer.�
�Verne Troyer?! You mean �Mini Me�?�
�James Dean.�
�Ok he�s dead.�
�Oh! Aaron Carter and somebody else. Who am I forgetting?� I said I could tell my plan had worked on him. Now he wanted to hit me.
�Ok, ok I give. That was very funny. My own little brother ranks higher than me, now,� he said.
�Well you did ask me �my order�,� I replied. �I wasn�t going to lie.�
�Yeah, yeah whatever.�
�So how do you know about the order thing anyway?�
�I hear things,� he said poking his head back into my bunk. This time he found my other CD wallet which had his solo CD in it as well as everything else I was listening to at the moment. I really didn�t want him to see that, I�d never hear the end of it.
�Just so you know I�m not a psycho fan or anything like that. In case you were worried. I don�t have a shrine built to you guys and I haven�t nor do I plan to steal your underwear or anything like that.�
�I didn�t even think about that till just now. How do we know you�re not cracked?�
�Because I�m telling you.�
�You could be lying,� he said tossing my CD wallet back onto my bunk.
�Have you noticed any of your stuff missing?�
�Actually I have been looking for-�
�You probably lost it yourself,� I interrupted him.
�Yes but I don�t know that for sure,� he replied.
�You want to check out my bunk? Be my guest,� I said pushing back the curtain. To my surprise he dove right in. A few minutes later he poked his head out.
�I guess you�re alright,� he said.
�I know I am you�re the one that�s cracked. Wait a minute weren�t we talking about you and your girlfriend problems? I was trying to give you some advice when you started getting nosy.�
�Yeah well I like this topic better,� he said.
�No listen to me, Nick. I don�t think you want to go drudging things up between you and. . . and. . . what was her name again?�
�Jessica.�
�Yeah Jessica. Don�t go drudging things up between you and Jessica unless you�re absolutely sure what you�re feeling isn�t something you can take care of. . . elsewhere. Jessica doesn�t strike me as someone that�s going to just go away if you call her up again,� I said. If you ask for my advice I like it when it�s heard.
