At the same time I didn�t really know Nick. I didn�t know he had a �playa� mode or not. I just assumed that he did because he�s a pop star, young and male. Besides don�t they all? Even if they�re not a pop star, don�t they all have a �playa� mode? You�re probably saying �No, not all of them.�. Well I didn�t know this about Nick when I met him. He immediately came off as cocky and annoying to me when we first met. I kept that first impression with me throughout everything, even after we had come to become friends.
Once I got to know him I did realize that he was more than just a cocky, annoying, young, male pop star. I realized that he�s sweet, caring, with a good sense of humor, he has a hot temper sometimes, he�s also smarter than people give him credit for and I realized I seriously cared about him. So what�s the problem? Since I know all this other stuff why wouldn�t I give in and at least see what would happen between us. It never hurt to try, right? Wrong. Sometimes it does hurt to try. Sometimes it hurts so much to put yourself out there that there�s no recovering from it. That�s what I thought then.
I was still holding on to my assumptions of Nick as well. The events of the past couple of weeks made them ring true, loudly. The fact that he was �fucking his way through their fan base� as Cookie so eloquently put was weighing heavily on my mind.
For someone who can be so cool and collected Cookie sure can work a nerve. She refused to relent on the subject of me and Nick especially, since he had taken to his �playa� ways so easily. I could only assume the other Boys weren�t exactly pleased.
�I distinctly remember telling you that I didn�t want to talk about this. Did you not hear me?�
�Yeah I heard you, hon. I still think you shouldn�t give up on Nick.�
�I haven�t given up on him. We�re still friends.�
�You know what I mean. I can see you two as a couple. I�ve seen you two together and there�s a lot more there than just friendship. You should at least give it a try.�
�I don�t want to talk about this anymore.�
�As a friend the way he�s been carrying on with these women must bother you a bit.�
�What are you the moral police? So what if it bothers me? Its none of my business. Nick can do whatever the hell he wants.�
�I just think that if you care about him and you don�t want to see him get hurt than you should talk to him.�
�Talk to him? About what? What in the world would I say?�
�I don�t know, what do you think? Maybe what we were just talking about, him and his growing harem. He�d probably listen to you.�
�I seriously doubt that. After what I-� I started before stopping myself.
�After what? I knew there was more to this whole thing than what you were telling me,� she demanded. I hesitated for a moment. I thought I might as well tell her because it would come out eventually.
�Nick and I kinda kissed. . . . it was more like made out a little bit after he broke up with Jessica. I stopped him though.�
�What? Why did you stop him?�
�I don�t know. . . I was startled. One minute we were talking, the next thing I know we�re stretched out on his bed playing tonsil hockey. I was afraid he was just using me.�
�And was he?�
�No, I don�t think so. . . . but I don�t know for sure. That�s my problem, I have that little seed of doubt and it�s trying to take root. He told me he wasn�t using me and that he was serious about us. He told me that in Dallas after we made out again.�
�Wow, I�m missing out on a lot. What did you say?�
�I told him that we could never have a real relationship. I told him it would never work.�
�Did you mean that when you said it?�
�Yeah, I meant every word. I was afraid and I still am. Think about what would happen. . . . the fans, the press, the whole world would be watching us, not to mention the people he works with. Every magazine or entertainment TV show would compare us to every other mixed race couple there is. I can just see US Weekly doing a cover story on it. Hollywood�s Mixed Couples: How and why they work. There�d be a picture of Nick and I alongside David Bowie and Iman, Wesley Snipes and his wife. Then they�d have the relationships that didn�t work. I have an US Weekly subscription. I don�t want to see my face plastered on the cover!�
�Alexis are you done rambling?�
�Yeah, I think so.�
�Good, I�m glad you got that out of your system, now you can listen to me. You and I both know that you have serious feelings for Nick. I think he has feelings for you as well. The only thing I don�t know for sure is how serious they are. What you need to do is go talk to him, like now. As far as what the fans, the press, the people he works with and the rest of the world think, who cares? The reason, I think, those mixed couples you named work is because they don�t care what people think. What matters more to them is how much they love each other.�
�You�re right, Cookie. I shouldn�t care but a small part of me still does.�
�Then go talk to Nick. Tell him how you feel about everything.�
�I don�t know if I can. I think I hurt his feelings pretty bad. He was so angry when I rejected him.�
�If you don�t get up and go to his room right now I�m going to drag you there!� she exclaimed. That�s right, she exclaimed it. Her voice actually went up an octave. I was completely blown. I just stared at her.
�Ok. . . are you alright?� I asked watching her.
�I�m fine. I�m just a little tired of the sexual tension between you two. To tell the truth everyone is tired of it. It�s so thick I�d need a chainsaw to get through it. Sometimes you don�t see and I mean really see the way he looks at you or the way you look at him sometimes, too. I honestly don�t know how you two have kept your hands off each other thus far,� she said. I didn�t have a reply to that. I stood there dumbfounded.
�I�ll go talk to him,� I said finally.
I didn�t go straight to Nick�s room, I just kind of hung out in the hall for a while before I finally made up my mind and started out for his room. The whole way to Nick�s room I was scared and nervous. I didn�t even know what I was going to say. I felt like I was back in school looking for a date to the Spring Formal.
I got to his door and stood there for a minute trying to gather my courage. This was it I was going to tell Nick how I really felt about him. I was going to tell Nick that I had feelings for him that I didn�t want to ignore.
�What are you afraid of? It�s only Nick,� I said out loud.
I raised my hand to knock but suddenly the door was opened. Instead of Nick a tall willowy blonde and a shorter curvier redhead stood in the doorway staring back at me. I noted that neither were dressed particularly whore-ish. The blonde had on jeans, a light pink tank top and matching pink flip-flops while, the redhead wore a jean skirt and a green polo shirt with blue flip-flops. They�re makeup wasn�t overdone at all. They looked like fresh faced college students. After a quick perusal of the girls, I heard Nick�s voice.
�Don�t forget the condoms we�re going to need them!� he yelled. We all froze. I forced out a giggle.
�Wow, I must have the wrong room. Is this 616?�
�No, that�s across the hall,� the red head pointed out with a polite smile. I turned to look.
�Well, look at that, you�re right. They need to number these doors better. I was totally lost. Thank you, I�ll get out of your way, now,� I said turning and heading back for the elevators and the safety of my room.
Before I even got to the end of the hall I heard Nick calling me and running to catch up with me. I kept my head down and kept walking.
�Alexis wait! Wait up!� he said jogging up to me. He caught my elbow.
�Leave me alone. I�m going back to my room,� I said pulling my elbow free.
�No wait, what�s wrong? What did you want? You must have come up here for something.�
�I didn�t want anything.�
�Oh come on, you can not tell me you came all the way up here for nothing. What�s going on?�
�It wasn�t important, anyway.�
�Are you sure you�re ok.?� His apparent worry for me softened my anger toward him.
�No I�m fine. Why don�t you go back and entertain your. . . guest. I don�t want to keep you from them.�
�They can wait. You sure there�s nothing wrong? You look upset.�
�Nothing, I�m fine. I�ll just tell you later. It�s ok it can wait,� I said turning and walking away. He didn�t follow. I went back to my room feeling totally defeated. As soon as I hit the door Cookie was pestering me about what happened. I was so angry that she sent me up there in the first place that I lashed out at her about it. We proceeded to get into a huge argument that left us not talking for awhile.
Catching Nick with those two girls was just the tip of the iceberg. They were innocent little girls compared to the woman I saw him with a few nights later in the lobby near the elevators.
�Oh� well� look who it is,� he said. A shiver ran up my spine. I turned around to face Nick who was accompanied by a lady and I�m using that term loosely. The �lady� with Nick was a striking brunette with big grey eyes and a sensual mouth painted a deep shade of red. She had on way too much eye make-up. Her top was more bikini than actual shirt and her bottom was more handkerchief than actual skirt. Her heels were heights that any porn star worth her moan would be proud of. Her entire outfit looked like it was bought at �Whores �R� Us� and since she looked that cheap I bet she kept the receipt. Do I sound bitter?
�Hi Nick,� I said trying my best to keep the sting out of my voice. Nick was swaying slightly where he stood. He�s drunk, I thought, though it was quite obvious.
�Hey Alexis,� he said in a sing song voice. Then to the brunette, �That�s Alexis, one of the makeup people. She�s the best one ever!� The brunette smiled adoringly at Nick and then managed to spare me a glance.
�Yep that�s me Alexis and you are?� I didn�t say it as haughty as it sounded.
�Oh me, well I�m Julianne, most people call me Jules,� she said in a deep southern drawl. Her voice annoyed me immediately.
�Nice to meet you,� I replied. Then to Nick, �Wow a brunette, Nick, I�m stunned.�
�I love all the ladies,� he sputtered smirking at me lazily.
�Yeah I�m sure you do. Well I have to go now. You two have a good night,� I replied and spun on my heels to make a swift exit.
�Where ya goin�, Lexus?� Nick said. I�m pretty sure he said �Lexis� but it came out �Lexus� due to his drunken state.
�I�ve decided to take the stairs,� I told him. He staggered forward.
�That�s like ten flights,� he said still in the sing song voice. It was actually more than ten flights.
�I know I could use the exercise,� I replied. Then I heard the brunette laugh and that annoyed me more. Her laugh sounded more like squawking. I didn�t walk up all ten plus flights, I�m not insane. I walked up to the third floor and caught another elevator.
You shouldn�t be upset, I thought. It�s a good thing you didn�t get with him, you could have ended up being part of his harem. A small part of me doubted that.
