| italyisms |
| i've put a great deal of effort into keeping track of these...so you'd better read them. |
| oh god, you're so sexy! --"paolo"-- |
| oh, bella mela. [oh, beautiful apple]--random italian gentleman-- |
| ka: she got some che guevara wine. lauren: sweet, are you going to drink it? kim: when the revolution comes. |
| we would be the people who would get raped & pillaged by lesbians. --ka-- |
| kim: it does feel like we've been here for a month. ka: yea, and not in the "oh it's so comfortable now" sense, but how everyday feels like an eternity. |
| sono cinese! mi dispiace! [i'm chinese! i'm sorry!]--lauren-- |
| <sign: no information office> lauren: so where would i find the information office? [as hypothetical information office guy]: "i'm sorry i don't have that information." |
| lauren: AND i didn't get a twix...you are a candy tease kim: want one? lauren: no i don't want any...i'm allergic to mercy candy. |
| ...and you was like --ka-- |
| no, it's cool...you're just getting your ghetto wings is all. --kim-- |
| kim: is that fool on the cover of all three books? ka: no...it's jesus! |
| i just had another revelation...i want to tell john frusciante that he's a musical jesus --ka-- |
| kelly: well, do you know where there's nightlife? ka: i know where to go if you want to endanger your vagina. |
| and he's touching jesus' nipple, if i may say so... --crazy baroque bitch-- |
| some florentines can be real grouch pouches... --c.b.b.-- |
| it's a boater hat...no, no, it is a fedora...it's a bedora! --ka-- |
| ka: and he's wearing a shirt that says 'diva ballads' kim: no, he's not! ka: i don't know. |
| haha, he's got an animal on his head...does he think he's cyndi lauper? --ka-- |
| he looks like a woman, i just can't put my finger on who...maybe 'kate' from 'kate & ally'...have you ever seen that show? no! it's the sister from the alex p. keaton show! --ka-- |
| why did i just think of that line in 'cell block tango' when she talks about doing 17 acrobatic moves in a row...oh, there was number 7! wow, he just jumped off that stool like it was his life's greatest accomplishment. --ka-- |
| ka: and they all think it's 1994...was this 1994? kim: no, it was more like 1998, so yes. |
| kim: oh verrochio...well, at least his 'david' has clothes...well, a skirt anyway...and what are those things you wear on your nipples when you're a stripper? ka: tittie tassels? alliteration is my life's main focus. [ten minutes pass] pasties! |
| kyle's away message said "what do y'all know about the dirrrty south" and i IMed him "that they disowned you?" --ka-- |
| well, i guess he is technically still alive... --ka-- |
| kim: but according to mariel, it's still alive & kicking... ka: communism or matt cameron? |
| kim: i always figured it was just a series of lovers quarrels...except matt, who was probably just like "whatever you guys want to do..." ka: he's like, "i've always got my figure skating to fall back on" |
| "i'm eddie vedder...my balls are so huge." --kim-- |
| if you think about the type of people we'd put in hell today, like people who build strip malls or something, the greeks had a very different idea about it... --prof. ewell-- |
| yea, it'd basically be like us outlawing christianity and starting to worship acorns or something. --prof. ewell-- |
| wont somebody just...love him? --ka-- |
| ...the difficulty that both of them had with their fathers... --hatfield-- |
| kyle: it's called french blue simpleton ka: how perfect...simpleton...it fits...you well kyle: no moron that was french blue COMMA simpleton ka: well maybe you should have actually written the comma, dumbass |
| kim: you can't be determined if you don't have a nose. ka: unless you're vincent d'onofrio in 'the salton sea' |
| kim: they look fat to me. ka: just because they're not chiseled. |
| dumb american: I wanna be a soccer huligan lauren: hooligan? and they don't call it soccer, buddy. they call it football so i think you're going to have to get those two words right before you can actually become a "soccer huligan" |
| we call her 'paura'...because she scares us. --angie-- |
| in the u.k. |
| these are from our "vacation" |
| kim: yea, britney spears said that j. timbo. was the only person she'd ever slept with, and that she didn't realize he was going to go all "barbara walters" on her...that makes no sense! nicole: well, he did kind of turn into an old white woman on her... |
| will: what's wrong with arsenal? lawrence: what's wrong with arsenal?! are you mad?! |
| lawrence: oh, ireland should be fun. nicole: do you like it? lawrence: i've never been. everyone: what?! nicole: well, i live in new york and i've never been to the statue of liberty. ka: yea, but you've been to jersey! |
| kim: where was that kid? i was like, 'it doesn't take all night to get medication, baby' ka: 'but i know something that does' |
| kim: you'd expect him to be like 'hi, i'm kyle' ka: yea, especially since we've all seen his balls. |
| lawrence: i don't know what that was...it was the most annoying accent i've ever heard. |
| colleen: 'fo' shizzle' is to say 'for sure'...and if you want to say 'my friend,' you say 'my nizzle.' |
| genova policeman: dove alberto? lui parle inglese! [where's alberto? he speaks english!] |
| lauren: i have sebastian's number michelle: you should never get the number of a guy who has cobwebs between his balls. |
| i'm goin' to the bar --hatfield-- |
| when did rex become a black woman? --ka-- |
| rex killed that guy by biting his arm...that's intense --lauren-- |
| there's so much sting, you need two angles --lauren-- |
| kim: check out the guy in the midriff with the bandages...he's like 'i had to sock some guy cause he called me a fairy' lauren: 'syke, i cut my finger making smoothies!' |
| kim: will you ask hatfield if he'll marry us...all three of us...we can move to utah lauren: and sebastian can be his fourth wife. |
| hatfield: some people call this...what's the word i'm looking for? homoerotic. ka: i'd say 'pro-masturbatory' |
| come on, if you don't like a michelangelo, you don't burn it...you roll it up or hide it under the bed, or something --hatfield-- |
| i had such a nice time in france for the last few days that i'm glad to hear that the austrian was responsible for its [michelangelo's leda & the swan] destruction --hatfield-- |
| this is all okay...it's not like the swan's actually pumping away at this very moment --hatfield-- |
| it's pretty clear to me what the swan is up to --hatfield-- |
| hatfield: have you ever actually seen the dirty deed represented as it's happening? ka: well, certainly not bestially... |
| kim: i swear to you, he wears sandals every single day. lauren: at least if i hook up with him i'm guaranteed a spot in heaven. [sebastian walks in] ka: he[jesus sandals kid]'s the fourteenth apostle...goofus lauren: he[sebastian]'s here to learn about his brethren kim: [dies laughing] |
| liz (dumbest girl i've ever met): i had a lollipop...but i decided it was oxygen or mocha chocolate lollipop, so i had to ditch him...i was like, "bye little fella!" |
| once you get her down, you don't have that problem...and once you get her down, you might as well go through with it --hatfield-- |
| austrians have this thing...they don't like sex in austria, i guess... --hatfield-- |
| deTolnay was actually Hungarian, not Austrian, but they're pretty much the same thing --hatfield-- |
| lauren didn't understand what a hard ass is, she was like 'you mean bad ass' and i was like, 'no, i mean hard ass, dumbass' --kim-- |
| kim: i don't know what the hell this is... angie: cops!? |
| he's like, 'i thought sex was going to be lollipops & fairies, not ample bosom' --lauren-- |
| i love this commercial --it shows how many things you can do with juice! like why make out when we could drink juice?! --lauren-- |
| sleeping beauty is like <70 year old smoker voice> 'ciao, squirrels' --kim-- |
| i bet gus has a thyroid problem --lauren-- |
| mel was talking about how she wanted to have sex with the singer of the darkness, and i was like what are you talking about, he probably bit off his own penis is a fit of rock and roll glory. --lauren-- |