We last left our heroes after partying for two days with the X-Men. And Mr. Slippery finally got laid...
Today our heroes are endorsing Steak and BJ day, a fine creation by Woody and The Whipping Boy from the Point. And all is going well, the JULI are out, shaking hangs and telling people about that special, special day. They were out touring Missouri with Woody and The Whipping Boy. They're made it back to Imperial and have met resistance endorsing that beautiful, beautiful day. The Resistance is being led by Booner, a bastard from the Z, and a bunch of shits from the Mall(a bastard station that took over Extreme). Well, we can't let them stop this incredible day. While the JULI start the battle, Woody and Whipping Boy become Man-Man and Boy-Boy, because we all know that without Whipping Boy the show wouldn't be as good(if you don't know, Boy-Boy is the smart one) and gang up on Boomer. Boomer charged up his Bastard Ball(a flame-y sort of thing) and threw it at the still charging Man-Man. The Bastard Ball takes exactly one minute to power up and the dumbass ran right at it(no disrespect to Woody, but Man-Man is rather dumb) giving Boy-Boy time to use the Gourd of Justice(it's like a pumpkins but shaped like a penis, so you figure out where it goes) on Boomer. The Gourd of Justice goes straight up Boomer's ass and explodes, sending little pieces of the bastard everywhere. The JULI's fighting the Mall Bastards(they're so unimportant they don't get names). Cpt. Oblivious starts off with his newly given powers of Advanced Brain Powers(heh that means he can read at a 3rd grade level now folks, let us rejoice, , yippee, oh yeah he got them from Alderman, another genius of 3rd grade intelligence) and levitates one of the bastards 100 feet off the ground and trows him 200 yards into oncoming traffic, needless to say that was not a pretty sight(well ok it was). The Mole used the Call of the Juggalo and called a thousand Juggalos to combat. He uses two to double team a Mall Bastard, sending him into an oncoming bus( ever seen FINAL DESTINATION? Yeah, it was like that.) Mr. Ice(yeah, he's both of the mother fuckers today) combines his Slick as Shit and Witch's Tit moves to make "ice sculptures" in the middle of the road. Then he takes his cane and knocks their heads off. Now, there are about 50 followers left and they need to be taken care of. Man-Man, finally concious, uses the Bell of Man(you know, their bell, it's that and when dinged it emits a sound so high pitched only sissy bitches can hear it) causing a few bitches heads to explode, and sadly some unwanted deaths(they were sissie bitches anyway) around the world. Alderman, using his powers of Annoyosity, tells his life story to whoever, causing three Mall Bitches to take their own lives. Boy-Boy and Cpt. Oblivious are taking on the four highest ranking Mall Bastards and come up with the Edge-Crushers(they grab the person and fly around Earth twice, no more, no less, at speeds unimaginable and concealed to ordinary human eyes) and make four person shaped craters. Mr. Ice and Boy-Boy are busy working their Pimp Magic(you already know what it is, just think, isn't it kind of odd that they both have the same power? I'm thinking sub-plot for a different story) converting the straight female followers(blind ones most likely, have you ever seen Mr. Ice?). The Mole and Alderman counter-attack a move by the Mall Bastards with the Flesh of Justice(think about the word "flash") causing twelce Mall Bastards to become ashamed and commit suicide(hey this is fiction, ok?). Man-Man and Boy-Boy come back with the Insult of Justice(running out of cool names for moves), ragging on the person until someone elsekills the person being ragged on(its a mind-trick). So, now tjhere's like twentry followers left, and Cpt. Oblivious and Mr. Ice use the Yell(they both yell really deep and loud). Cpt. Oblivious "I don't give a damn!" and Mr. Ice says "Shut up!" sending ten bastards flying to Hell(if I know, it's a country now). Now, with ten left, it is time to use Man Power. This is a move for Man-Man and Cpt. Oblivious cause they're both... big. It's a running tackle into the wall, instantly killing five of them. So now it's a free-for-all(insert that cheesy song here) because I'm all out of ideas, with the winners being the JULI and Man-Man and Boy-Boy.
Now, with the battle over, it's an alter-ego party at PT's Cabaret. After PT's, they all crash at the JULI's hangout causing Woody and Whipping Boy to get in trouble by their women-folk
STAY TUNED FOR MORE ADVENTURES IN THE JULI CHRONICLES...
