We last left our heroes back home reliving one of the coolest moments of their lives. They got to hng out with some of the coolest rock stars of all time and kicked the shit out of that whore, Courtney Love....
We now rejoin our heroes at an ICP concert. "Hey man, this is the coolest ---- thing i've ever been to," comments Mr. Ice. "What the ---- was that?" asks Cpt. Oblivous "What was what?" "Just listen." As they listen, they all realise that all the fun language, (that consists of words like fuck and shit, as a write I am immune to the loss of my intelligent word suppliments) is missing. Obviously, so does everyone else.So the fun stops, music stops, Faygo rain stops, and all is shitty. "We demand to know what the ---- is happenin!" yells Violent J. "I'll tell you what is happening," says a voice that's all monotones and stuff, "you've been censored!" Ah, fuck! That's not cool because now no one in the story line can cuss. So at the revelation of being censored, the JULI gets realy pissed, as do Violent J and Shaggy 2 Dope, I mean really, if they couldn't cuss, they'd be all mainstream and shit. So they decided to team up and beat the censors. "Oops, problem, we don't know where to find these people," implies Mr. Ice. " Well, we could just run around the world and look really fast," offers Alderman. "Nah, I'll just use my telekenesis and ----, god---- mother------, I'm gettin' pretty god---- tired of this----!" rants Cpt. Oblivious, "As I was saying, I can use my telekenesis to trackthe voice." So, he starts tracking the voice and everyone follows. "You know what?" asked The Mole "The fifth dentist finally called and now they're all recommending Crest," replies Alderman "No, I just had an epiphany!" "A what??" "A sudden realisation. The world is much quieter without cussing." And, so he is right seeeing as how only I can cause I'm the writer(YAY! Special priveledges!) All right, the trail has abruptly stopped, and it heads underground. "Hey, Mole, dig a hole down there." "Fer schnizzle!" that's his reply. So, The Mole digs a giant fucking hole(it must be like 15 feet deep) and slams his head on the roof of the "Secret Underground Lair", rendering him unconscious for a few moments. Now, it's time for the Posse to do their thing. Violent J and Shaggy start throwing Faygo Bombs(don't worry about what it isworry that they make big explosions.... and stuff), breaking a hole int he roof. Now that our heroes are in the "Lair", it's time to figure out who's doing all this, and why. As they move deftly through the underground compound Cpt. Oblivous realises something. "------Cameras!" Mr. Ice freezes it, so they can't see anything. "Too late yo!" It's because these geek lookin people come runin at them. Thinking these guys are weak, our heroes wait for the first hit. Unfortunately, our geek guys are robots. So, Cpt. Oblivious goes flying, but rebounds in the middle of the air with his flying abilities. "OK, so it's going to be harder than I thought, let's get these Geek-Bots!" And so, it begins. Violents J starts the shit with the Carnival of Carnage(a great many dead carny-juggalo things come running) and takes out the Geek-Bots. "Well, that was easy." Our heroes continue forwardand empty out into this massive operation-room type thingy. Upon further examination they realise that all that they see is the machine that takes away their ability to cuss. So they come upon the conlusion that they must destroy it. Unfortunately, that's impossible because this piece-o-shit has been covered with some special... stuff. And it withstood every attack thrown at it. "Well *insert own word here* what do we do now?" "Hey, why don't we see how long it takes to break down by yelling cuss words at it?" So they try, and have minor success. After almost an hour they can now say all the minor words like hell, damn, pis, etc. They can also say shit. YAY! "What the h-e-double-hockey-sticks is going on down here? " sas some unbelievably homosexual voice. OUr heroes and ICP proceeded to fall to he floor and produce side-splitting laughter. Oh, come on, when was the last time you heard anyone above the age of ten say that and mean it? Much less in a homo-voice. After roughly half an hour, our heroes stop laughing and realise that the voice came from someone quite familiar. "Oh shit! It's Bill Gates!" says Cpt. Oblivous. "Hey, you shouldn't be able to say that, my machine makes it impossible!" once again goes the homo-voice. "Yeah, well we almost broke it," said Violent J. "That's impossible!" says Homo-Bill. "Are you going to cry?" asks Alderman. "No!" says Homo-Bill. But, he does start crying. Little do they know, the obnoxious crying of Homo-Bill triggers this massive(I love that word) beast-machine thingy(that word too). It's huge, but its as quiet as a silent-but-deadly(that's a fart for those of you who don't know) It's just as the people in the room with the fart would be too. It falls upon our heroes. "Ah, shit!" yells Shaggy. "Don't worry, we've got this one covered," yells Cpt. Oblivious. He and The Mole go to work, with The Mole burrowing through the arm and down towards the, err, heart, maybe. Motor might be better. The Mole just wanted to blow it up 'cause he likes explosions(who doesn't?), but Cpt. Oblivious decides to hi-jack the mother-fucker. Well as this was happening, Homo-Bill builds his own machine, well, not really builds, more like brought it out and gets it ready for battle. Well, now all our heroes are inside the machine. Cpt. Oblivious in the head, Violent J in the chest, Shaggy in the right arm, The Mole in the left arm, Mr. Ice in the right leg, and Alderman in the left leg(I just ripped that off from somewhere, I don't know where though). So, the battle begins. Homo-Bill's machine is doing all kinds of crazy ninja shit(ok, it looks kinda cool), but our heroes machine starts break-dancing(really cool), just to mock Homo-Bill's piece-o-shit. But while our heroes machine is doing the septuple head spin, Homo-Bill takes a cheap shot and kicks our heroes machine(bastard!). It goes maybe three feet(even as a machine the man's weak). So our heroes get back up and spin-kick that bastard's head.(Wow, this fight has already gone too long.) So our heroes kick him in the nuts and jump out to do their finishing move. But before they do it, they put bombs on the censor machine and blow it up. Then they finish Homo-Bill. Yay! Cussing can once again be enjoyed by all!
Now they can go home, party with ICP, and take over the computer company left behind, so none of the people lose their jobs because of Homo-Bill's death.
STAY TUNED MOTHERFUCKERS, THEY'S MORE COOL SHIT ON THE WAY...
