When we last left our heroes they had defeated Kyle Turner and his chauvanistic prick-bastard followers. If you don't remember, they whooped 'em good! They also got to hang out with Jen White and Tracy Wild from the Point.
We now join our heroes sitting in the Oblivibus(Cpt. Oblivious' VW Minibus) listening to the Point(of course, what else would the listen to? The Beat? Fuck that!) when a Creed song came on. Now, if you knew Cpt. Oblivious(or his alter-ego) you would know that he really doesn't like Creed, hates them in fact. There's a massive story behind all this, but you don't really wanna hear that, do ya? So, back to the story! He was getting ready to change the station when Mr. Ice stops him. " Listen," says he, " listen really hard." What he heard was some bullshit subliminal message about organised religion. It was also about how they were going to take over the world or something. I don't know, I wasn't paying attention when this took place in my imagination. So now the dislike has grown. " We've got to stop them!" said Alderson. "No shit, huh?" said the Mole. "Well, there's a concert tomorrow at Riverport." comments Cpt. Oblivious. "Don't you mean the UMB Bank Pavil.." " No. I said what I mean!" So, they drive all night long and get there early so they can stop at Taco Bell and a gas station bathroom(the burritos tore at Alderson somethin awful!) Finally arriving at Riverport Ampitheatre(yes that's what it used to be called) with Alderman feeling better they proceed onward to stop the villainous Creed. As they continue forth, hordes of Creed fans(yes the "Christian" ripoffs of Pearl Jam actually have fans, apparently a lot) come rushing forth to capture our heroes. How long can they last? They don't want to kill these people because they know them, and until now liked them. So a brief battle ensues, resulting in 32 knock-outs by the JULI and 4 by the Creed-slaves. That just fucking bites, doesn't it? The JULI getting captured by the Creed-slaves. They take the JULI back to the guys from Creed where they tie up our heroes(eeew you sick pervert, I know what you just thought) and make them listen to bullshit like Shitney Queers, Chlamydia Aguillera, N'stink, A real pain(I made up the last one, its Avril Lavigne) which is all slowly turning our heroes' minds to nothing more than common folks' brain power. That is, until Hickey Man showed up(that's our good buddy Josh Tucker, he thinks he's a pimp so i'll play to his fantasy) and quickly uses his telekinesis powers to change the shitty CD'a to ICP and the Kottonmouth Kings because those songs will quickly boost the JULI's brain power. You may ask, "How did this new character do it?" Well, he used his Pimp Power to charm the ladies into turning on the men and then walking through the door. He has now freed our heroes and a magnificent battle ensues. Stating with Cpt. Oblivious slamming a fist into the snaggle-gappped-cracked-toothed face of that hypocritical bastard, Scott Stapp. This is followed by HIckey Man using his Kirby Attack(he takes a giant breath in and blows it back out ) sending all the bad guys through a window and out onto the lawn. Creed is quickly joined by their Creed-slaves. OH FUCK friends, its time for killing. Alderman uses his Stage Dive, taking out about 3 dozen of the slaves. Hickey Man uses his Kirby Attack(once again,ever play "Kirby's World"?) taking out hella slaves. Cpt. Oblivious uses the Me-Mo(MEtaMOrphosis, get it?) turning himself into a giant panda(cause everyone loves pandas, they're the shit) which turns all the slaves's love and admiration towards him. Meanwhile, the rest of the JULI and Hickey Man have used the MO-MO-MO making this big noise, and Cpt. Oblivious turned into a confuso-ray that turns that dumbass bands brains to mush!! He-he-ha-ha.
Now, instead of partying, it's time to go Trick-or-Treating. For Zach it's Mack-O-Treating and for Adam it's Trick or Treat for UNICEF cause he's a humanitarian.
TILL NEXT TIME.... STAY IN SCHOOL!(HA!)
