Other entries: Stardust, Drafts of Life, Musicbox, Quill

Writings

1---How come your eyes have lost their heartening shine,
No longer glittering in the moonlight?
Your smile, not anymore sweet as wine
Which in many moments, carried me through the night…
You wash the world into your blue canvas,
Your sadness, encompassing all of me.
Now, only wishing that your sorrow come to pass,
I will share in your misery.
Yet inspite of these blind eyes, I shall dare give thee sight.
And with bound hands, I shall give thy longed embrace.
For you've seized me far into the night
Hoping each moment to live again those days.
By this, I swear, you are never alone.
In the darkest nights, with lonely thoughts as it seems
You shall wake, and see none
But he, who loves thee in his dreams.

2---Though by my hand I had meant to lead you,
Irony had struck me a strange fate.
In my mind I have written my words unto,
As to maybe jest the night so late.
Yet you have ceased my feeble display,
And stunned me by your simple whispers.
I had dreamed to set the perfect evening, for so long a day,
Yet you caught me unguarded, with my mind turned.
You drowned me in fantasies that time
Nor stars could not very well surpass.
As you changed old views to those magnificently sublime,
I remained without a word, 'til that moment at last…
Under the moonlit night, the skies held their peace.
While two moved to the sounds of voiceless discourse.
That instant remained as it surely is,
Yet immortalized in the undying memories of the heart.

3---How my tomorrows seek your today,
That eternity by your nearness be my humble pray'r.
Why, I could dream for so long of your love aspired,
That in all my ways 'tis you I see by my side.
If only these illusions could be not as thus,
Hapless failures would not have been the end of us.
Or rather my end, for I have been a pitiful soul,
Ever restless and unchanging in my aspirations gone old.
Yet we are mere sprits living under that freedom's sigh,
Whose free will doth choose thee and I.
For as I be with thy memories, carefully cherished,
Cursed am I should this blissful state perish.

4---Thy face's beauty brings such humble caress,
Whose image, by which the moonlight perfects.
Unforgettable art thine eyes
That seem to breathe on the soul undying fires.
Or thine body whose splendor rivals all
Who should see and be enthralled.
I am a victim of thy passionate allure…
By this sickness I shan't ever find a cure.
And should I lie in this helpless manner,
I would consider myself blessed forever.
Yet I would rather die and live anew,
Than live alone without the blessing of you.

5---How your light shines with gentle radiance,
That by your words, simply spoken, breaks life's sighs.
How enraptured I have been since,
That I have remembered how to laugh and smile.
By your touch, the earth is given life.
By your glance, the stars sparkle in reply.
Your presence lifts my spirit in flight,
Giving me hope for things gone awry.
With an endearing heart I say to thee,
May your beauty bless the world for all eternity.
For by your actions, you've always made me see
That all my dreams are fulfilled in your company.

6---How much must I love thee?
'Til my heart withers,
Yet breathes love still for an eternity?
Or seclude myself in a makeshift world,
Where thy beauty is the only being?
Lost I am in this embracing darkness,
Though I be filled with zealous fire unseeing.
Yet with this passion, much confessed,
I have lost all, and gained none.
My spirit broken by my love so spurned,
My hope, shattered, forever gone.
Such is the worst of fates - to give love that is never returned.

7---How our affection could be yet compared
To that of a cool, tranquil afternoon.
That I be the sun who blissfully fared
Entranced into the sea's embracing tune.
By the end of the day, my spirit wanes
With the longing brought by this dreamy state.
Yet must I clear myself the masks one feigns
And then reveal the deprived soul, irate?
As the morning fades to the darker night,
I dare confess, here, my deepest notions.
Under the shade of the dancing stars' light
I release my most heartfelt emotions.
And should the late evening pass the chance then,
Bid me know the noon shall come 'round again.

8---In my life thou art the ardent candle,
Whose fiery state I must yet keep alive.
For in those bleak nights unendurable,
I truly cherished the warmth by my side.
Thou bringst light to the darkest of my days,
Vitalizing my shattered spirit's form.
At times I feared a breeze might come in haste,
To kiss thy lips and sway thee into harm.
How this seized my thoughts, that in each moment
I be, I think of thee and thee alone.
That in each living memory's time spent,
I breathed thy breaths and shared thy lonesome tone.
For thy company tastes sweeter than wine,
That I would softly lay my life in thine.

9---The most forlorn of sighs, this distance brings
That my heart beats with only thoughts of thee.
In this state I grow with homesick longing
Of that wished love abruptly seized from me.
Though I should now be in this dear saint's place,
Heaven seems not to be as heavenly,
Without the sight of thy angelic face,
Which all us poor sinners yet hope to see.
For we have gravely sinned by heart and eye,
When we had dared cry our mis'rable plea
And fixed our gaze at the starless sky,
Wishing each night to be as royalty.
But as I write this lonely verse, I smile
For 'tis thy thought that makes my life worthwhile.

10---Glancing upon the past, on dreams undone
Would bid me despise my time's unmoved state.
With courage at hand, but with chance all gone
I stay my strength and lie in sorrowed wait
To move yet again in those old dreams still
As if chained to a time so truly loved
To lull my senses to that thought so real,
So coveted, with feelings longed to have
And wished true, yet by innate flaw known false.
So with much to gain, for all was lost then,
I awake from that dreary slumber's halls
That I may weep my state and try again.
O, move me once more with those words of thine
That maybe thou might save this heart of mine.

11---How nights such as this could spawn such slumber,
That with weary eyes remaining unclenched
Would bid me wake at most ungodly hours
To pity myself at this state so wretched.
Yet without rest nor glorious privilege
Shall I be, with only thy memory.
For in truth, thou shall bear it to the edge
Of time, or of death, or of plagues that be.
Yet thou art both spurned disease and sought cure
That unknowingly chained my heart and mind
By thy charming way and saintly allure
That seeks me thou coveted presence find.
If only nights were as it rightly seems
I'd find such night and take thee in my dreams.

12---On nights such as this, I glance, then, and wish
Upon those beings on thee wished for dreams
That might shatter dark walls by their promise
Or move hope to certainty as they deem,
To be as they are, to hear thy prayers
In part, that I may as the alchemist
Turn thy burdens into those former fires,
Which burnt bright then as the love thou give'st.
Yet if I be, as helpless as they be,
Then it should be my great satisfaction
To be the one longed upon so by thee,
That I could chance upon thy perfection.
Yet I look upon my wish, and in them confide,
That I, this night, still find thee by my side.

13---When thou has speaketh thy serene "goodbye",
I hear those hurtful words speak, "I hate thee".
For never has such moment come that I
Be not left longing for thy company.
And when thou speaketh thy charming "hello",
Again, I hear, "I hate thee still".
For when has such not bring "goodbyes" feared so,
Leaving a feeling of dreaded ill?
Yet, something about thy way turns "goodbyes"
To a love so missed and so awaited,
To only see that glisten in thine eyes
Would bid me love thy greeting, once hated.
O to hear the words thou sayeth once more,
Though few, would content me in thee adored.

14---No dreams yet come to me this sleepless night
For the stars have taken away my rest.
By myself, I behold their mocking light,
Watching their static dance and silent fest.
And in unmoved state, I gather my thoughts,
Then, of no such particularity.
How I hear that voice, its sinister plots,
Taunting me in this frail form as I be
Of wishes unfulfilled and chances lost;
All gone and forgotten by fraught despair.
Yet steadfast, I then whispered to my host
That I need not worry this state, nor care
For I have thee still, never gone from me.
Thy mere thought enslaves me, yet sets me free.

15---Amongst my riches, 'tis thee I love most.
No gold may purchase thy dear memories
Nor thy charming way, ever without cost -
Naught of material pleasantries.
No roof may give the shelter thou give'st
No lantern may rival thy warm caress
For it is thy image, like a goddess
That seizes my spirit to thy arrest
And moves me to stir my manner, my mind
To that which be like a madman so crazed
Driven out of his wits by that lost find
Searching for his desires for all his days.
Merely so, to stroke thy sacred lips kissed
Would turn my treasure into that not missed.

16---How I missed you so, through days, weeks and years
Across barren months and countless minutes.
I thought of thee through those foolish smile's tears
Caused by that destined farewell thou hath writ
In my mind, past my thoughts, across my heart.
Thy goodbye, ever fixed in my spirit,
Shakes me still by the tragic state thou parts.
At times, I would think my way unfit
That my mere presence by thee be but a slave's,
Then, ever present, yet never noticed
Bidding me fear for a love longed to have
Along with that touch, smile and way so wished.
And when thou has left me here, 'lone again,
I plead thee await my farewell, 'fore then.

17---O, for my hands to graze thy cheeks would be
Such ecstasy, for though in dreams I see
Thy beautiful state, I could only
Speak to a ghost my wishful poetry.
Those times that I had been with thee, though rare,
Swirled in me as undying memories
For how could I forget that lady fair
Entrancing all that saw her alluring tease?
If only I may ransom dear, old Time
For an eternity alongside thee,
I would feign a rogue and commit the crime
Without thought of losing my royalty.
Yet, as the night ends, I welcome my sleep
That maybe in dreams thy mem'ry I keep.

18---To have stayed adrift for moments so long
Under patches of the sky's gloomy wings
Chained there, reminiscing the times gone wrong
Left to those relentless memories' stings
That in such, shatters the heart without guilt
Nor shame, leaving naught but the shadowed form
Of a humbled, hollow ego's regret.
Though left harmless as innocence may be,
To have such distance traversed would hence prove
That 'tis thyself that sets emotions free,
To correct therefore as they rightly move.
O tell me this, that I may yet have faith,
If only I could hear that all's in wait.

19---To have seen thy eyes, and from such have lived;
To have shared thy place, and from such have eased
My simple worries, so wastefully grieved,
All sent astray by so much as a kiss.
Yet what lives in thy eyes, in it's beauty,
Exists to me as a mere mystery.
Though as mystical as fairy tales be,
Rapt are my thoughts, all calling for thee.
While yet trapped in this state of confusion
I bite my tongue in desperate wond'ring -
Whether I must stay or continue on,
To wherever solace these thoughts should bring.
Yet in one thing I am sure, by all these,
That 'tis only for thee that my heart breathes.

20---By what names shall I dare to speak of thee?
Mayhap "love" be a fitting moniker,
Or doth "darling" best suit thy luxury?
Tell me, by whisper or hopeful prayer
What should make me worthy of thy embrace.
Yet despite the name, or appellation,
No matter the labels fit of thy ways,
Thou shall be more than that wished perfection.
For by what calling does a simple man
To his goddess, name as what gods should be?
Wasting away like reprieved grains of sand,
My thoughts drowning far off the empty sea.
Yet of what use shall all these wond'ring be,
Should I be too consumed in awe of she.

21---Of justly gifts to a maiden's liking,
I should have known - hers would be none of those
For now I be a hundred coins lacking,
With naught but a handful and my worn clothes.
Desperately I dreamed dreams majestic
That by my downtrodden state overturned,
Reversed by a sleight of arithmetic,
Would grant me that present for her so yearned;
Yet as I woke, I became somewhat changed,
Discov'ring that the right combination
Was not the amount of thy treasures gauged,
But the love bought by simple addition.
For none could rival the worth of riches,
Save the warmth of some starry-eyed kisses.

22---Without much room for words, thou would leave me
Longing to see thy face each day and night.
Yet though simple in thy ways, thou move me
To both emotions of fear and delight.
For how shall a poor man as I explain?
Ever have I been at a loss for words;
Just by thy sight, thou stir my spirit wane
In regression towards my infant years
Wherein I yet lived in those simple times
In false content. 'Twas then I lived in lies,
Only with heart burnt with fervent desires -
Moved to deliverance by helpless cries.
Yet as I stand by thee, I ask thy part:
Shatter not my dreams, yet silence my heart.

23---Amongst the skies, a breeze woefully sighed
The most solemn and silent of a tune.
And by this, it had seemed, a darker night,
Whose lights had waned against the pale, white moon,
And had captured my thoughts like contagion.
Rapt of curiosity, I beseeched them,
Wondering why the evening's life was gone,
The stars faded like an unpolished gem.
In unison they replied, that simply,
There was this maiden who had swept the night
By her grief-brought tears, whose sparkle gently
Moved the heavens to pause at her heart's plight.
Knowing that, I subtly prayed a while,
If only thoughts could turn a frown to smile.

24---In these days past, I have been losing hours
For each of these moments spent without thee.
From since I have counted, and then, by far,
Days of twenty-four fell to twenty-three.
In wishful thinking, I delay my rest -
Wond'ring 'bout me, my helpless existence.
Minutes squandered for that awaited guest,
And hence, I live, another minute less.
Waiting for none, the time withers away
As, along with her, the seconds pass by.
Amidst fixated figures, I count ways
Of how a weak man might always still try.
If only lost hours would return a chance,
I'd set my time - an hour in advance.

25---Sprinkled with zest, and a dash of warm smiles,
And spiced with the shine of a nighttime star
Then layered with charm of different styles.
Stirred slightly, a potent mixture by far:
That though seemingly innocent in guise
Fractions of sympathy, and love, and care
Tickles the nose like that ever-tasty spice
Along with sweetness and a cheery air.
Yet in nature's makings 'twould just be fair
That at times there might be a bitter taste;
Yet then one could swear, it was hardly there
Like that secret ingredient slyly placed.
For after all, all this was tried and true
A lovely thing it was, for it was you.

26---Impetuous music - my novice art:
Simply by which my mind doth truly tell,
Moving to hands the wordings of the heart,
Those by which my mouth doth speak so unwell.
In brisk motion - the plucking of the string,
As if a god would forge destiny:
To life, unreal airs my fingers doth bring
Nameless tunes to sway to mute poetry.
Yet how much I do wonder ‘bout all these,
My strings to what extent could pray thee still:
Only wanting my heart to be at peace
Wishing that music could be as my will.
I am no instrument, I know as due,
Men speak in words, their feelings told and true.

27---If I, about thine charming eyes could write,
A hundred or so verses would serve few:
For that pair spells beauty in its own right
Their sparkle outshines that of morning dew.
Or should I speak about thy moving smile
A hundred verses more I could yet fill
About how thy manner makes life worthwhile
Leaving me longing for more of thee still.
O I know, I could write more as I please
On everything about thy being.
A thousand pages would be writ with ease
And maybe a thousand more in waiting.
Yet on thy whole, a single page be due,
For its single line speaketh "I love you".

28---Days start not with sunrises and sunsets;
They begin by the thought of seeing thee
And some time later this missing begets
A wish for an air of reality
And then another thought of how or when
All these wondering may bear their produce
Whether destiny could come around then
Turning chances to historical truths.
Yet of such things, they must come to an end
Lest one be spellbound in one’s own dreaming
For Time be known never to condescend
To a man’s wish of hopeful idling.
In this, my days I alone shall commence
For thee I wake, only to see thee hence.

29---In rain or storm or unpleasant weather
The rainbow bringing the sun thy smile be
That move’st the pour from dreary ether
And so alters grim sky to crystal sea.
Or should winter be a hostile fixture
Thou be the flower that welcomes the spring
That certain thing whose beauty would endure;
Itself proving against all other things.
Come every other worldly enmity
Thou art the being that vanquishes all
As that which serveth greater than any:
As that which amends the earth by her call.
Thou form my world without even attempt
I resist not, I would rather be tempt’d.

30---If only I might place mine arms ‘round thee
Like the subtle dances of Saturn rings.
Us alone in this black, luminous sea
A starry duet of lone, floating things.
However I do feel now as the moon
Circling by an untouchable escort
With only gazes to hopefully soon
Advance that incessantly wished rapport
From which only the stars serve as witness
They themselves mine quandary must endure.
And in all these, we yet stir in unrest
Hoping for this cosmic beauty’s allure.
Yet somehow I see the end of my sighs
Though far from thee, see myself in thine eyes.

31---Though by my side, how I miss thee, at times
That the stars in mine nights would choose to hide
Away from sight, as the sun in mine skies
And hence from then had known, mine skies had died

Through lonely sighs, how I miss thee, at times
That thine hearty armor should so deflect
Whatever power consists of mine rhyme
And I later be known naught of intellect

Humbly, why doth thou choose them rather me
Despite knowing that none else loves thee more
When their hearts combined stand on frailty
As waves breaking on thine perilous shore

In thine choosing I would rather not choose
Should choosing for thee bid me selfish prove
For in this art thou art more than a muse
Thou art the al that maketh a man move

O, how maddened thoughts this name doth consume
These, mine sunken eyes, seeking thy visage
Whose life, deprived, construct impending doom
And turn my form into unknowing dredge

Take me not as a serious character
For in time so idled, my mind doth jest
With things made fro ridiculous matter
So losing its grip should thou bring me rest

For of all, thou art most welcome of sights
None other be near of greater delight.

32---Might I not remember this rhyme,
Annexed in the instant
Yet forever lost in time
That when spoken flows as smooth
As if holy words heaven sent
To rejuvenate the tides of lost youth.

Let me forget much as thou would
Escape mine words
Mine thoughts to elude
Whatever ways construct
The usual manners of the world
To serve as though the very strands of luck.

Might I not remember this rhyme,
That when whispered to ears
Should sing as siren's rime
That in each note played by tongues
Sound in every stage unheard eres't
Form in dance songs in songs.

So as in each of those hours
Those rare opportune times
When on the bed of night lie stars
That I speak my verse, it shall serve
As if spoken by a host of mimes
The very moment of its first birth.

Might I not remember this rhyme,
For should the end of days appear
When comes the fall from sublime
I might not feel the pain
And I might not hear
The teardrops splintering like falling rain.

Though should such time near in passing
And I am left a scar of dearth
Of memories forming shackles constraining
That when previous accidents form injury
Let me at least remember my worth;
Allow me my face, my former capacity.

33---In asking oneself, "what is it to write",
Brings a crossfire of politics where both
Sides stand proudly upholding what is right
Testifying no lies under oath.
To write is to dab into arts absurd
Into dreams brought on by imaginings
Where each certain view is a point unheard
A mind to earth rooted with its own wings.
It is a contradiction in itself
Where in a path, a simultaneous choice
Is made, that when leaving, return foretell
The destination be the start in guise.
Yet at times, the point is in asking
Answers being the question returning.

34---Take thou this vile dagger away from me!
Dare me not thy state place in detriment.
O dear lady, leave me untroubled be
Thou asketh me what I cannot consent.
Bemused, rather, hysterical, am I?
Rather I be insane at my behest
Than be as crazed, knowing that I do lie,
That regret might have me in his arrest.
How thy name ringeth a saint in mine ears;
Vile as I, dare'st not lie so in hope
That such being might not mine prayers hear
As these moments I could no longer cope.
Rather I, these daggers pierce mine own heart
Than I end what I have loved from the start.

35---Of what things might free the enraptured mind?
Allow me thy answer, for 'tis indeed
That I am left a hollowed shell so blind
And so scarred that through such mine thoughts should bleed
A stream of assumptions, ever-flowing
That had flood mine own state and I, away,
Brought so far as the eastern winds blowing
So seeking as the sun does the moon's day.
In truth I should know the answer by heart
For there be none else that could saveth me.
It be by thy name, that I ask in part
Tell me those words, thou as a savior be.
O, to see thy face would taketh mine nights
Leave me not alone, ne'er naught of thy sight.

36---Hast thou seen the stars in thy sky of late?
'Tis again they smile their light towards thee.
How inclined do these, to thee so relate,
That thou might wish upon, that thou might see
Thy own beauty, reflected in the moon,
Honored so by the image thou had graced
Upon her bosom, to which henceforth soon
Would rain such image on her outline traced.
And I, remaining far below thy tow'r
Could seek no further salvation than this:
That to see blooming by thine tears a flow'r
That thee, thy lover I, so gravely missed.
If thou feel pain when I am gone, do know
That I feel greater when thou leave me so.

37---Dost thou that starry night remember so?
That from whence thy hand had caressed mine face
As thou had brought me to thy arms as though
I was yours, mine penchant all for thy grace;
Thou, that night had lulled me to such sweet sleep
Such entrancing music that was thy voice
That at that moment, I pray thou would keep
Forever this man, who by his own choice
Would keep thee from all that seeketh thee pain:
A peasant so wishing to be as knight
So seeking to be the shield of thy rain,
So longing to be the warmth of thy night.
Thus, would thou keepeth me for this love's sake?
For thee I wait, that thee to this heart wake.

38---What be this that seeketh mine heart dismay,
This that be the shroud to this morning's light
That moveth the unknowing sun away
Who in darkness' gift hide mine tears, mine plight.
What be this that would overturn mine smile
That shackles mine heart from its own beating
Appearing now an empty thing beguiled
Naught of a shadow as it lay dying.
What be it that placed my mind in question
Burning out from all the imaginings
From clearing out all of the illusions
And bearing the pain of those worrisome stings.
Your words, my dear, though sumptuously sweet
Had come to me in this moment's defeat.

Total works displayed: 38

Copyright 2004, Chase Gosingtian