And so it went. We talked and discussed, speculated and hypothysized, and worked our relitivly one-track minds to their fullest capicity, and in the end of it all we developed a rough, but extensive conspiracy theory on Mexican illegal immigrants. And here is what we have so far.
The Mexican Under My Sink
Water is a very interesting product. The companies who give it to us don't make it really. It costs them almost nothing to get, but on the other hand we buy it for almost nothing. So it is (at least was to us) a mystery how, after insurance, the cost of the water proccesing and hiring emplyees, the water companies could make a profit. But in the light of our new discovery a revalatiom was made. Almost all people need to heat their water, and the water companies generally control water heating as well. After WWII, when life was good and gas was cheap, the water companies (usually combined in a conglomerate with the gas companies) could buy the gas for very cheap, and sell it for quite a decent profit due to the booming economy.
But during the oil crisis of the seventies, oil prices skyrocketed. The water/gas companies could no longer make such great profits on gas due to very expensive crude oil from the middle east. They needed and alternative. And they found it in Mexicans. It was a large scale operation, but within about eighteen months of the crisis, the water/gas companies had replaced all of the gas heaters in America with Mexican powered heaters. A Mexican sits inside the water heater, and rubs two sticks together to make a small fire, thus heating the water. And the best part was that the water companies could charge the same prices for the 'gas' that they did before, and made enormous profits. But this was not enough. As soon as the water companies discovered the amazing profit making potential of the Mexicans, they wanted to use them to their full potential. And they did. Everybody knows that in the past pipes were made of lead (the French word for lead is 'plomb' hence the word plumber). But when the companies were forced to replace the lead pipes due to health standards, they were stuck. Still in a slump from the oil crisis, the companies' C.E.O.s made an executive descision to use Mexicans. So you think that water is pumped from resevoirs to prossecing plants to other resevoirs and then to our homes? Nope. A Mexican just runs to the resevoir, grabs a bucket of water, goes under your sink and syphons it up through your faucet. There are little Mexican child spies that hide abover your light fixtures and tell the Mexican under your sink to start syphoning when he sees someone turn on the faucet. The same works for the one in your water heater. Thats why it takes a while for the hot water to come up to your faucet. And so it went, and the water/gas companies had their profits, but it wasn't enough. Inter-corporational spies sent the word out to the rest of the commercial world. And things have never been the same.
