| Old Letter- {to Alan} i wanted to send this to you afew nights ago but i didn't know how to word it. and i still don't entirely. i know your not ready to hear this yet but i still want to write it down at least. ----------------------------------------------- I've dated a Loooooot of people. and i've only found Magick in 3 individuals. one of which i've never dated nor seen.- as in kissed - and i have... seen that these are the males that i find most suited to be with me the longest. i need that out of someone who i have close to me. i want us to become closer than close. and i'm going to go to great lenghts to try and accomplish that. let me just say first off that i am NOT looking to get married within the next year. just to clear that up. but i do have rules and guidelines that i want out of someone who i want to be more than With. those are: organized- like i am, or close. a neat freak in a way or two like i am. someone who can open up with me when something's wrong- which your getting better at. someone who puts me ahead of everyone else- which you do. someone who can handle me- which you sorta do. better now. i know i'm a handful or... sometimes 5 handfulls. someone that always proves that i'm theres'- which your getting damn good at. someone who i make blissfully happy- like you do me. i guess i'm saying that my ideal mr. right fits in a package that would amount to someone like you. i don't know what your mrs. right would be like but i hope i fit somewhere into that package. mainly because i wanna be with someone who wants to marry me in 10 years. i want to be with someone who wants to see me every morning and every night. who stares at my hair and savors my fragrance. someone who will want to hold me tight when it's cold and chilly out. someone who always has room in their lap for me. -for me to sit with them- someone who'll run after me when i have to run- or run away. someone who wants to touch my body and Only my body, til we spilt up. i wont lie to you, i'm dating you to see if i think we'll get married in the way distant future. but i need to know if that's even in your plans for us as your future holds in your eyes. marriage is a really big deal. and i wanna be with someone who wants to wait and take slow steps, because i always want to rush. i don't want to rush for once. i'd like to savor every moment. and most of all i want Us to be happy. i am a selfless person and i will date someone to make them happy. i've done it all my life. but it's been half a decade since anyone's made me happy. and i'm so tickled that you made that possible that i have more reason to keep you long term. because of that. does that make sense? You are everything i want. even your flaws, your bad times, your moods. but i need to know what you want. because in the back of my mind i know i'm not going to loose you, but my heart tells me differently. and i'm listening to my heart for the first time ever... if you could feel it now, as i write this... to you... if you could see the tears in my eyes, as they swell. like the first time we slept side by side, and a single tear fell from your eyes. i just wanted to cry. i wanted to swear myself to you then and there. i wanted to just kiss away your tears and spout sonnets to you. i wanted to sweep you off your feet. and now, here i stand, almost 6 months later... and i've realized that if someone can make me happy in the way that you do that i can't loose this person. this utter joy. and that i am going to show you how it feels inside of me. to Love someone who Touches me so. Only yours, -kitty. |
 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
| lovingly |