Lion in wait

I once got second place in a high school speech contest that was introduced by Sister John, dispelling any doubts that nuns experience gender identity crises.

Sister John told a story about a sculptor who started with a large block of marble and busily began whittling away at it as a little girl stood by and watched. When the sculptor was finished, in the middle of the room stood a large marble lion. The girl, in all her innocence, asked, "Hey mister, how did you know there was a lion in there?"

Lately I've been feeling like that little girl (speaking of gender identity crises), looking at the homely building we bought and wondering where the lion could be. Thankfully we have an architect.

The finished spaces on HomoGayTV shows like Designers' Challenge always look so effortlessly transformed. Pity that the hours, days, and weeks of hand-wringing and teeth-gnashing aren't shown along with it. Not that we're going through that--yet--but as we found out this week, the idea of making our "dream home" is fraught with compromise and conformance.

We met with our architect, Kim, Wednesday night to look at her preliminary designs for the building. Her studio straddles Chinatown and Little Italy. She shares a giant loft space with about 20 other artists and architects. The tone is library-like--high-intensity table lamps, Macs, and drafting supplies line the Japanese-style work area. It reminded me of our old loft. But this project is exciting, too, I thought. The new building is such a frog now, I have a hard time imagining how handsome a prince it will become.

The five of us sat around a big drafting table, and Kim laid out three finished schemes. She was working on a fourth that sounded intriguing but was not fully formed.

Scheme 1 incorporated all of our design wishes--a gym (including a boxing ring) for me and Luis, a drum room for Eric (an accomplished drummer), and outdoor patios for each of us. Luis and I would have a second-floor bedroom with morning sun and a nicely laid out, open-plan first floor. Luis says that the resale value of a first-floor unit is not as high as that of a higher floor unit, so a duplex is better. Ideally we'd like to have two duplexes with a common roof garden and minimize new construction. Each square foot of new construction will cost twice as much as each renovated square foot, so we're trying to be sensible.

In Scheme 2 Kim tried to accommodate a front-loading garage, which shortens the space on the first floor but gives us a nice common roof garden on the second. We wanted a garage if it wouldn't block light and if we could fit two cars. Two cars won't fit, and because the lot runs the full 100-ft length and doesn't have sufficient air and light, it's questionable whether the city will approve that scheme.

Schemes 1 and 2 are riskiest because they may not conform to the city's residential building code. Before we submit plans and apply for a zoning variance, we'll need to make sure they have a chance of getting approved. The city has strict requirements for how plans are submitted and what kinds of improvements may be made. For instance, our building is zoned for manufacturing and is fully built out on the lot, with rear-facing lot-line windows. Once the building is rezoned as residential, theoretically we're required to pull back the building and create a 30-foot yard. However, even if we can get the yard requirement waived, we won't be allowed to have lot-line windows, since they will butt up against the neighbor's yard. Another consideration is the proposed patio facing our neighbors' yard; it could become a problem if our neighbor exercises his right to build out his property and block our view.

The garage won't work, so that's out. Although the roof garden would be nice to have, it will work for all four of us now but may have to be partitioned if half or all of us decide to sell to others. The space has to work logistically and economically. Kim said she was challenged to fit so much living into a 21-foot-wide space with minimal new construction.

Of the three schemes, Scheme 3 is potentially the most beautiful. Starting with a backyard on the ground floor, the rear part of the building terraces up to the second floor and then to the third floor, creating a dramatic, stepped, open-air green space. The design easily conforms to building code. The trade-off is that Luis and I end up with a much smaller living area, no gym, and no duplex, and our friends end up with a larger living space. However, we'd have some kickass skylights and a great outdoor garden. This option is the least expensive, requiring the smallest amount of new construction.

Because New York City has such arcane building codes and regulations, we decided to ask our real estate attorney for advice before choosing a design. This attorney was successful in getting our next-door neighbor's variance, but the neighbor did not have new construction in his plans. If we take a risk and submit the most ambitious plans and get rejected, we're back at square one. At about $5,000 a shot to resubmit plans (architect fees, lawyer fees, filing fees), we'd like to get it right the first time.

At least I can see a lion beginning to emerge on paper, and if it turns out to be Clarence the Cross-Eyed Lion, I can live with that.

Shots of the first floor as it currently looks: