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I am not really sure I
like Bangkok at all, I was really looking forward to visiting this
wondrous country of the Fabled Beautiful Siamese ladies, of whom I had
met some years earlier in Malaysia and whom I had paid for them
to dance for me at a dance hall, this was when I was young,
adventurous and is the word Horny not sure ?? the only problem then
was that we were NOT allowed to touch them --- what a bore !
We Flew from Schiphol
airport, Amsterdam to Bangkok on China Airways
My wife who was
chaperoning me on the this trip did not know of my earlier meetings
and therefore my thoughts I kept to myself, and I may i did not in
anyway touch those lovely delicious harbingers of love -- 'Oh No I am
carrying on'
We landed in Bangkok international airport and the next
thing was to get somewhere to stay as we were booking hotels on the
hoof so to speak, and the reservations hotel in departures was a very
modern concourse with an extremely beautiful young Tai lady who was
full of smiles and very courteous.
We enquired into hotels reservations and were given an album full of
hotels pictures, amenities/prices/ distance from the City and the most
important being the price
We selected Hotel Malaysia
, room per night 390 Baht = £10
A taxi driver was brought and away we went into the sultry night , a
smog ridden city of Bangkok the traffic was in a grid lock and the
driver said too many cars too much pollution. On our journey to the
hotel we passed numerous hotels of different characters , beautiful
then slummy ,it was a bit worrying at first but on reaching the hotel
we were very satisfied. the best about independent is that you have a
choice ,in that you can easily threaten the manager with I don't want
this room , too noisy outside ,the ceiling fan is noisy , if not
satisfied -- just book out and get another one.
No travel agency reps to complain to --- go direct to the manager
.
After booking into the hotel that evening, the important thing was to
get the Bits and Pieces we always get abroad -- Coffee, Tea, Dried
Milk and a means of getting the hot water, No Kettles/ or whatever so
down to the streets and get some , we had an heating coil that travels
with us, but NO plug that fits the Thai Electric plug in points --
That should be easy one would think ??
But we found out that this part of town where we were situated did not
have any tourist shops , but just the everyday shops where the Thai
citizens get their goods --- and NO ONE spoke English, never happened
before, we needed an electrical shop to get a two pin plug !
BUT what does an English man abroad do ,when he cannot make the local
people understand him ?
He says ' Why cant you speak English '? in a loud voice .
The Thai bloke waffles away at his family shrugs his shoulders and
walks away --- with me after him after collecting a piece of plain
writing paper, I take a pen out of the blokes shirt pocket and start
to draw an electrical plug --- at last understanding , he does the
thumbs up sign and two minutes later a plug appears!! Cost about 10 p
But invaluable .
As we walked down the busy road with the food hawkers selling food
from charcoal fires , the smell of different food aromas was fantastic
, it reminded me of Singapore in the 60 s when me and my mate Reg
Potts went on holiday there from Malaya , what a wonderful time ,
great memories , Noi was not too happy about the smell in Thailand she
was practical and saw the open sewers and probably some of the smells
came from there as well. ha ha. We found some dried milk, coffee and
tea -- so the rations were in order.
The photos below were taken after I had been ceremoniously thrown out
of the Palace grounds for wearing shorts that were too SHORT , Noi
could NOT stop laughing , I objected to the palace guard but a young
Thai lad said in English that I could be arrested for showing
disrespect to the king so we returned to the hotel where I got
properly dressed in trousers , the shorts I put in my pocket.
I managed to get a street map from the hotel Foyer , and at the same
time check the security arrangements ,of private property ,because I
did not like walking the streets with passports travellers cheques and
everything else that is vital to get around - -Air tickets , I asked
about the procedure adopted and it would have been easier to break
into fort Knox the amount of signatures it required .
One morning armed with the street map , we thought we would go to the
main river in Bangkok where the Royal Barges can often be seen , so on
the road I shouted for the Tuk Tuk which is a cubicle carrying two
passengers attached to a moped , the cheapest way to travel , BUT
these chaps cannot understand and speak English or it may have been my
Barnsley accent , because he had no idea when I said --- 'I want to go
to river ' noi was laughing her head off ha ha --- anyway due to my
ACE 1 in Map reading I figured where we were and where the river was ,
but the driver didn't , as he was going the wrong way .
'Hey'stop this bluddy thing' as I reached across to grab the hand
brake --- I showed the Thai which way I wanted to go and off he went ,
me pulling his arm to left or right as to directions --complete
nightmare as we dashed in between speeding cars, trucks. Noi was in
hysterics she thought how funny it all was ha ha.
I stopped him some way from the river and paid him off 'No tip ' ----
it was a really hot day , we both bought hats and drinking water ,
then off again ,my map reading paid off , I suggested to Noi that we
hire a boat she agreed , so off to hire one , but again the 'No
English ' I was getting annoyed as I made it quite clear I wanted to
HIRE a boat NOT bluddy buy one as this bloke tried to negotiate -- in
remembered English .
There was a large Ferry at the quayside so noi suggested we travel
down river on this --- it was very cheap only a few Baht ?? so we got
on , and got ready for an enjoyable river trip -- BUT it just went
across the river to the other side , I couldn't believe it !!! A young
Thai schoolboy so us floundering and told us that it was just a ferry
that went to each bank --- Noi was in raptures again, silly old Les
she said cruelly ha ha.
Eventually with help from the Young Lad who spoke Queens English--- a
short time later we were stood on the River bank away from the quay ,
the lad told us River Boats picked up passengers from the river bank
and to be quick getting on.
So this boat was in the distance heading in our direction , awaiting
was also a Buddhist monk , who was very kind , he told us about the
boat and how it stopped at certain stops on the way -- there was a map
on the boat which we could point out to the conductor so we could pay
the correct price.
It pulled in the side for a couple of seconds and we jumped on the
deck and being dragged on at the same time, Phew all this excitement.
The Chao Phraya River with its spectacular views of the Grand Palace
and the Temple of Dawn , was a joy to see , on the far bank was the
Royal Barge being made ready for the King and queen the following day
, it was fascinating journey on this boat , it was powered by a single
propeller that was controlled by a large rudder , when the boat came
along side to pick up passengers the crewman with the rudder raised
the propeller out of the water.
We had to hold on for dear life, but the spray coming up cooled us
down from the searing 42 c heat.
We decided to make a stop at what looked like a temple site --- we had
No Idea what they called it ,so I pointed to the stop with the rudder
lad looking at me , well he was steering it ha ha ---- it was a few
second stop , jumping a foot over open water onto the wooden jetty ,
there was a young lad there to grab us so we didn't go back in the
water - the Thai people young and old, just jumped and that was it,
the shore side had stalls with beautiful flowers arranged for visits
to the local Wat (temple) , the best or worst of being on ones own is
that you can decide where you go, when and where ???
We decided to get some cold drinks the heat was atrocious , a lot
hotter than anywhere I had ever been before , it really gets to you
and with having jet lag as well , but we must crack on --says noi !
There was the temple I decided to try and find a toilet --- caught
short, I keep thinking we are in Malaya , awak Ada jambuan ?? I asked,
of course blank stares , toilet ? blank stares , so off to look ,
around the back of the temple there appeared to be an outside toilet
so I wandered in , having to pee no matter what until , a Saffron
robed Buddhist monk appeared , with a bucket in his hand ?? , he then
spoke in perfect English 'This sir, is where we get a bath '
he looked at me and said 'do you want the toilet ?, you can use here
when I have had a shower ' ----- there is of course NO bath , but they
get a bucket shower like I do at my sister in laws , in Hongkong, a
large bowl of water and a bucket to scoop water and throw over the
head.
By god that was a long shower ---- Noi smiling at my discomfort , the
young monk re appeared and said to my astonishment 'do you know Arthur
Scargill ?',
well I said I don't know him personally but he lives in my home town
of Barnsley near to my mothers home . 'how do you know about him ?' he
then went on to explain that he listens to the BBC on the World Radio
station fascinating stuff, we travel half way round the world and a
monk in a shawl knows old Arthur.
I asked him about the Buddhist monks in Thailand , and he explained
that it was a great honour to be a monk for a certain period of time ,
they had no worldly goods except the radio in their room and the
clothes they wore, they had no need to buy food as the local people
supplied them with food each day , the monks would walk in single file
along the village streets and the locals would put food in their
begging bowls. They had no need to pay for any transport it was always
free.
We had a look further down the river but then returned to our hotel,
again by means of the boat and the Tuk Tuk , there was a pool at the
hotel where we had a dip and relaxed, had a lay down and later went
out for a meal, I tried the Thai food , the rice was very sweet had a
perfume smell to it , it was all eaten by the fingers no Forks,
Spoons.
It was a long day and very tiring ---- we decided to go to Pattaya the
following day as Bangkok was a smelly place, loads of pollution could
taste it, we needed some sea air. As we sat in the lounge of the hotel
after booking a trip to Pattaya, the heavens opened up, the monsoon
was the heaviest I had ever seen --- so very heavy and seemed to go on
forever, not the 10 minutes like in Malaya.
The following morning we got up early packed our bags and took them
downstairs, we had our cereals , and waited for our transportation to
Pattaya which was about 2 hrs away we were told.
Due to the heavy monsoons the night before we were told the roads were
under water but were passable with care 'Oh No' ha ha, we were unaware
of the bus that was going to arrive to transport us to the coast would
it be the large air conditioned buses that we saw on the roads with
tourists ?? as an independent traveller you got what you paid for and
we only paid 60 Baht each ----
The bus was about an hour late, so that gave us enough time to go
through the security system that was part of the hotels procedure, I
must admit my handwriting changes day to day so my first attempt was
frowned upon, and I was given a second go with the manager in
attendance, looking at me as if I was a fraudster trying to get my
hands on the passports and camera of somebody called Les Parkin and
Noi Parkin, Noi as usual was full of support, 'Les just take your time
don't rush ' rubbing my arm, my last signature was ok and then the Eye
test, as the manager scrutinized the passport photos -- ;Ok sir thank
you but we have to be careful'
The waiting bus passengers started to stir and picked up their bags as
the BUS had arrived , I went to the door and had a look ---- the bust
was a converted van with seats and a roof rack --- I was not certain
it would get to Pattaya , but Hell it was an adventure !! I said to
myself ---- the driver had a great deal of suitcases to load and in
the end it looked like an Arabian lorry two storeys high with baggage
- Noi was happy and went and sat down , the driver put a large plastic
sheet over the cases then we set off into the unknown --- as we left
Bangkok and entered the rural area which consisted entirely of paddy
fields with the Thai houses on stilts , I now knew why the houses were
on stilts , because of the LOW WATER tables , there was no height at
all to the road in reference to the paddy's and as such there was no
monsoon drains to divert the water, the Rice farmers wanted this as
the Rice needed constant water and therefore to divert water was to
create a dry paddy which was no good. The roads were flooded and the
water was up to the door sills but as progressed slowly , we kept
going until at one stage we stopped for a refreshment ----- the
monsoon had started as we set off , and so on stopping we got out to
use the toilet it was belting it down hard , the plastic sheeting had
come loose and the cases were getting wet , so we all helped out in re
arranging the plastic cover, and fastening it down.
The journey was not too bad, a change from the comfort of a large bus
, but what the hell it hardly cost anything ---- as we neared Pattaya,
Noi asked about the hotels ? , I said wait until we get there I am
sure we can find something decent, as of this time we had not booked
NO hotels as yet for Pattaya .
Sin City I was told it was ---- an ex GI RR for soldiers and sailors
in the Vietnam war, what's good enough for American GI's is good
enough for us
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