| Thursday November 14th 2002 I wish LA would move to Ottawa and live with me. I'd welcome her here in a flash. She says if she actually took me up on the offer I'd freak - but she's wrong. I'd drive up and pack her stuff in my van this very weekend and bring her back with me - even her enormous dog :) I just want her here so I can have her to talk to in person. Knowing she's safe, knowing she's someplace we can be together whenever we want. How did feelings this strong happen? All I know is I've enjoyed every second of it, and I want it to last forever. She told me she wants forever, but she's afraid to believe I want the same thing. It's too good to be true for her. But nothing is too good for her, and this least of all - I mean it, completely and whole-heartedly. I want her here with me, to stay. I watched an interview with Jennifer Lopez where she told Diane Sawyer that there comes a moment in everyone's life, if they're lucky, where they experience perfect love - they are with the perfect person, in the perfect moment. It isn't necessarily a rose-petal laden room with music playing. It can be just sitting next to each other in a quiet attic room, suddenly looking at each other, and just knowing that this is it. That this is the person you will be with forever without reservation or regret. These feelings don't need explanations. They just need to be cherished and appreciated and allowed to grow, wild and free. I'm way beyond caring what anybody else thinks. I'm way beyond worrying about the future. I feel that as long as I'm with her, no problem will be too great to overcome. I'm probably boring everyone to death who visits my site, with all these lovesick updates, no wonder my hits are dropping off. :) But I didn't create this site to entertain people. It is an online diary, of how I really feel about things. And this is how I really feel about her. I told her when we live together, I won't need an online diary anymore. I'll start a journal on paper instead, just for her, and she can read it whenever she wants. You think this site is boring now ... just wait :) |