| Wednesday September 4th 2002 Okay, everybody all together now, 1, 2, 3 - "told you so". Thanks, 'preciate it. Yup, the threesome thing was a con job orchestrated by my ex and her new beau, as y'all might already have guessed and I was too slow to figure out. So I fell for it and felt really damn flattered for a while there, then ..... bleah. Ah well. So if some chick wants to make me a sympathy offer for real now, feel free. But I would still have to turn you down, sorry :) I'm firmly attached to LA, provided she'll still have me after we meet. She's been worried whether I'll still be into her after we meet in person, but let's just say I'm feeling mighty confident that's not going to be a problem. I ought to dwell more on whether I'll make a good impression back. Or maybe I'm just seeking something to worry about so I can keep my feet on the ground, 'just in case'. I can't think of anything else that could possibly concern me at this point. She's just so - right. If I could go back in time and try explaining this feeling to myself I'd even fail at that, so I can't very well describe it to you, either. Yes, there's hurdles to overcome. I'm here - she's there. That's the big one. Personally I think I could handle a long-distance relationship for a while - but only for a while. Then what? There I go, reaching for worries again. I've been wondering, just to explore the theory, whether I would ever leave Ottawa. I've a feeling I couldn't if it meant downsizing. I'm pretty spoiled by big city life, with great work I love doing and plenty else to do that interests me, a good network of writing contacts starting to develop, always something new going on... I don't know if I could do small town life again. I know I'd never move back to my home town, except maybe to retire. Some day I'd like to have a nice camp on a lake in the woods somewhere ... that would be nice. Some day I will do it. But at this point in my life, I'm still Ottawa Boy. Every good relationship demands sacrifice. If perchance I was a guy worth her moving for, I would owe her big in some other way and I'd happily pay up. I might think of something (not just that - she can have that free of charge, LOL). My present attitude about what we would do is simply, figure out what each of us wants most out of life and live in the location that best meets both our needs. You know things are going well when things like this become your big concern... |